One Of Your Own---A Chicago Fire Story
by mom2jlg
Summary: A string of arsons hit way too close to home...especially when Kelly Severide suspects someone he knows may be responsible.
1. Chapter 1

**One of Your Own**

**Chapter 1**

The four twenty-something's walked into a little card and gift boutique. The few customers in the shop stopped and turned around to stare. These guys couldn't possibly be more out of place. This was a nice little community, the neighborhood was changing, and for the better. Young, up and coming professionals were moving in to the renovated homes and apartments. They still retained the historic feel of the 1940's and the 1950's, but every modern convenience was there. The streets were lined with trees and expensive automobiles.

But these guys were a joke. Dressed in expensive Italian leather jackets and wearing huge gold chains…they looked like rejects from "Jersey Shore".

They fanned out around the store…looking things over…pointing and laughing loudly at some of the expensive trinkets in the display cases…calling everyone's attention over to them. Then one of them…a short, dark, barrel chested guy, reeking of cologne and with enough product in his black hair for ten people, came up to the register.

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"Who's in charge here?" he asked. He sounded like he had just stepped off Arthur Avenue in the Bronx…or at least he was trying to.

The college age girl at the register rolled her eyes…and pressed a buzzer under the counter. A minute later a tall man in his forties wearing a casual…but expensive…button down shirt and jeans came out of the office.

The girl nodded toward the "customer".

"Can I help you?" the man asked.

The guy turned around…and his posse moved in from the corners of the shop.

"No…but I can help you."

The owner removed his designer eye glasses…and studied the guys in front of him. It was like a bad joke. He wondered if he was being punked.

"You got a nice little place here…" the guy went on. "Lotsa pretty little things…you wouldn't want anything to happen to 'em. There's all kinds 'a low life's in 'dis city."

Like the four staring the man in the face right now?

"We have a security system, thanks." The man said.

"Security systems…dey got flaws…dey ain't perfect. What I'm offerin'…is like a neighborhood watch program. Ya know…neighbors helpin' neighbors."

"I think we've got it covered…"

The man turned to go back to his office.

"You might wanna think it over. Bad things can happen to anyone. And for a reasonable monthly fee…I can guarantee nothin' bad's gonna happen to you and your place of business here."

"Look…Mister…"

"You can call me Nicco…Nicco Suave."

Oh, dear God…this guy was too much.

The man cleared his throat. He doubted he was gonna be able to say anything without bursting out laughing.

"Look…I'm going to ask you to leave…before I call the police."

"Youse makin' a big mistake…the cops, dey can't be everywhere. An' we got eyes and ears all over the city. We know what's goin' down before the cops can even finish they doughnuts." Nicco said in his best "Bronx" accent.

Apparently nobody told him people don't really talk like that…at least not in Chicago.

"I'm not gonna ask you again. You and your friends need to leave…right now. And don't come back."

The owner was losing his patience.

"Get the hell out of my store!"

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Down at Station 51, Severide was pouring over travel sites on his tablet.

"Hey…" he said to Shay as she passed by his chair…"What do you think about this one?"

He handed her the tablet…

Shay scrolled through the pictures of the Caribbean resort.

"Looks like the place you took her for your fifth anniversary." She said with a shrug as she handed the tablet back.

Kelly slumped in his chair…deflated.

He and Alyssa would be married ten years in June and he wanted to mark the occasion with a special trip. Just the two of them…no kids…someplace warm…someplace tropical…and romantic.

Hawaii was out of the question. It cost way too much. He had thought about Tuscany…but again…with three kids, that was too far out of his price range. He considered a cruise…but he didn't think Alyssa would want to be floating around the ocean, totally out of touch with the kids. He'd heard the bill for a ship to shore phone call could rival the National Debt.

So he was looking at all-inclusive resorts.

"Kelly…whatever you pick, Alyssa will love." Shay told him.

"I just want it to be special…" he grumbled.

"I'm sure it will." She said.

He started another search. Maybe the Virgin Islands…

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A call went out to an address in the Irving Park area…

Squad rolled up a few minutes behind Truck 81 and they saw the little shop engulfed in flames. Whatever it was…it was pretty much gone…now the focus was going to be on saving the structures next door.

A late model Mercedes came screeching to a halt just beyond the fire trucks…and a man with short, dark hair and glasses…probably around forty-ish jumped out. He was wearing his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with a leather jacket thrown over the top of it. He had his bedroom slippers on.

Chief Boden caught him as he ran toward the burning building.

"Sir, you can't go there…you need to stay behind the line!"

Severide heard the man's anguished cry…

"That's my store! That's my business!"

Kelly recognized the sound of that voice. It was the sound of a man who had just lost everything he had worked for.

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"Daddy!"

Maggie Grace popped up off the floor in that weird gravity-defying way babies do and ran to Kelly the minute he opened the back door.

"There's my princess…" Kelly said as Maggie crashed into him with all 23 pounds of her and threw her little arms around his legs.

He scooped his daughter…and kissed her chubby little cheeks and breathed in the scent of strawberry baby shampoo. Maggie laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled against him, her silky soft baby curls tickling his neck.

He carried her into the kitchen where Alyssa was just taking a breakfast casserole out of the oven.

"Perfect timing…" she said with a smile as she set the baking pan on the stove to cool.

Kelly leaned down to kiss her.

"Good… 'cause I'm starving."

Lyssa's brown eyes twinkled as her smile got even bigger. And Kelly felt his heart begin to race.

After ten years…she still had that effect on him.

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"Why don't put the princess on her throne…and I'll fix your plate?"

"Deal…" he said…as he gave her one more kiss.

He took Maggie to the table and set her in her new pink booster chair. She loved to sit at the table like a big girl. After all…she was going to be two in a few months.

Alyssa set a plate heaping with scrambled eggs, sausage, turkey bacon, mushrooms, onions and cheese down at Kelly's place. She popped the toast up and immediately spread it with butter. She brought it to him, then fixed Maggie's little princess plate with a few bits of egg, a few bites of sausage, two little triangles of toast and some cut up melon. She poured some milk in a sippy cup…and a glass of orange juice for Kelly.

She sat down to join them, and Kelly started to shovel in the food his wife had placed in front of him.

"Are you okay?" he asked Alyssa.

"Just a little tired. I think Maggie's back teeth are coming in…she was real fussy last night."

"Maybe we'll all have to take a morning nap…"

"Rough night for you too?" she asked.

Kelly shrugged.

"Had a call out to that neighborhood they're rehabbing just west of here…you know, where all those snooty little shops are?

"Yeah…I know which ones you're talking about. They're not far from the store."

"Well, this…I don't know…gift shop…it was a total loss. The owner came running up…the guy was a wreck. I felt sorry for him." Kelly told her.

"I can imagine…all the hard work you put in to opening a business…I think I know the one you're talking about. I think I went in there once. Cute stuff…way too rich for my blood, though."

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Maggie was making slurpy noises as she shoved the last piece of melon into her mouth.

"Mo'!" she said, pointing to the empty section of her plate.

"Make those eggs and sausage disappear…then you can have more melon." Alyssa told her.

Maggie turned to Kelly…and looked at him with those big teal blue eyes.

"Mo'?" she asked.

Kelly shifted in his seat. Maggie knew how to push his buttons.

He swallowed the bite of egg in his mouth.

"You heard Mommy…first eggs, and then you can have more."

Maggie gave him a look, trying to see if there was any wiggle room there…then she grabbed a piece of sausage and shoved it into her mouth.

Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. And Alyssa chuckled softly.

"Good job, Baby…" she told him. "Stay strong…"

That was a running joke in the Severide house. How do you spell Daddy? S-U-C-K-E-R.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kelly reached for his water bottle and took a long drink.

It was good to let go…to feel the burn of a good workout…to clear his head.

Sometimes his life felt like it was spinning out of control.

Now was one of those times.

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It was rough going at Station 51…

The men were really spread thin. First they'd lost Capp…after he broke his leg when a staircase collapsed and he fell through the floor into a basement apartment. He'd been out about eight weeks…and he still had a lot of rehab to do before he could come back…_if_ he _could_ come back.

Kelly knew what the man was going through. This was the second serious injury Capp had had…and speaking from experience…every time, it was a little harder to get back on your feet.

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Almost all of Truck was out…after that secondary explosion at the Italian restaurant. Otis and Cruz had both been discharged from the hospital…and they were recuperating at home. They had been farthest from the blast…they were in a dining room, getting two civilians to safety rather than in the kitchen area.

The arson investigation had turned up a couple of time-delayed low grade explosives placed strategically around the structure. One was in the kitchen…attached to the stove. It had taken out both the cooking and dishwashing areas…and that's where Hermann had been…trying to get one of the kitchen workers out. The guy had been an undocumented worker…and he was trying to find a back way out…so no one would ever know he'd been there.

Well…now everyone knew he was there. For all it mattered…the man hadn't made it.

Casey had been trying to get to the offices…there was an owner/manager trapped back there…when a second device concealed in the ceiling in the back had brought the whole thing down on top of him.

They were both still in the hospital…

And all the relievers coming in and out…it was like Station 51 had a revolving door. Kelly never knew who was gonna be there from one shift to the next. It was a bad way to have to work.

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"Well, well, well…look what the cat dragged in…"

Kelly turned at the sound of the familiar voice.

And a smile broke across his face.

"Darren Chesnick! Long time, no see, man!"

The two shook hands and slapped each other on the back.

"Kelly Severide…good to see you…how's it goin'"

Kelly shrugged.

"You know…same ol' same ol'." He said. "What about you? You staying outta trouble?"

Darren Chesnick was a firefighter Kelly had know off and on for almost the whole time he'd been with the department. They'd never worked together before…Chesnick had been at over half a dozen different houses…but never at Station 51.

But they'd run into each other at the BBQ, at the occasional retirement party, or funeral. Sometimes Chesnick would show up at a softball game or a bowling tournament. And they usually sat down and had a beer together…caught up…whatever.

Come to think of it…Kelly hadn't seen Chesnick in about five years.

"Much as I can…I got a lotta time on my hands these days." Chesnick said.

Kelly detected an edge in the man's voice.

"Whaddya mean?"

"You didn't know?" Chesnick asked. "The department forced me out about five years ago. Long term disability…they said I got emphysema."

No…Kelly hadn't known.

"Seriously? That's a tough break…"

"No shit…I tried to fight it…I mean…I feel fine." Chesnick replied. "But it's all politics…bunch a bullshit if you ask me. They're just coverin' their own asses."

But that's what the department had to do…a firefighter was only as good as the men standing beside him…and one guy who wasn't 100% could put the whole company in danger. It sucked sometimes…but the department was bigger than any one man.

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Kelly got home later than he wanted to…he'd stayed to talk to Chesnick for a while.

The guy really was bitter…after he'd failed to gain reinstatement with the CFD, he'd applied at a bunch of suburban departments…but they'd all turned him down.

It was sad, really. The guy still felt like he had more to give…that he wasn't ready to hang it up. Unfortunately his body just failed him.

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He let himself in through the back door and the moment he stepped foot in the kitchen Andy and Jesse came running. They plowed into him at full force and Kelly took a step back to steady himself.

"What'd I tell you guys about runnin' into people like that?" he asked sternly.

They couldn't do that anymore…they were gonna be nine in a couple months…and they were probably gonna pass their mother up in terms of size within the next year or so. As it was, they just about knocked Kelly on his ass when they slammed into him like that.

The boys looked chastened .

"Sorry, Dad…" Andy said

"We forgot…" Jesse added.

"You gotta work harder at remembering…" he told them as he pulled them close.

He couldn't bring himself to stay mad at his boys.

Alyssa came in behind the twins.

"Guys…go keep an eye on your sister while I get dinner on the table…will you?"

"Can we take her out of Baby jail?" Andy asked.

"Yeah…"

The boys ran for the living room to spring Maggie from the port-a-crib they called the Baby jail.

"What'd she do now?" Kelly asked.

Maggie was getting into more and more…she had a mischievous streak just like her brothers.

"She apparently didn't like the new book we got today…" Alyssa said. "I thought she was still too young for regular books…"

Kelly was too tired for guessing games…and he said so.

"She made confetti out of it." Alyssa told him.

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Kelly closed his eyes for a second…then he nodded and pulled Alyssa close to him.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Just tired…sore…"

"You gotta take it easy, Honey…" she told him as she began to rub her hands across his shoulders and up and down his arms. "You don't have to keep doin' all these extra workouts."

Training for the Firefighter's Challenge had been one thing…a once a year thing. But she worried about him, especially with all the extra stuff that was going on now. She didn't want to see him get run down…or worse.

He smiled as he hugged her. He knew how much she loved him…and how much she worried about him. They'd been married nine and a half years…and he still couldn't believe his good fortune sometimes.

"What's for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Maggie's having a hamburger patty…and the rest of us are having Steak Balsamico with the creamy mushroom risotto…and sautéed green beans."

He chuckled.

"So that means I gotta work out at least four hours tomorrow…"

Alyssa smacked his shoulder lightly.

"Smart ass…"

"Ow…" he said as he put his hand to his shoulder, pretending to be wounded. "That's not nice…"

Lyssa rolled her eyes at the bad acting job.

"I'm sorry, Baby…" she said contritely…well…sort of.

"I think I might need a kiss to make it better…" he "pouted".

"You're worse than the kids…" she told him.

"Better make that two kisses."

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After the kids were in bed they finally had time to hold one another…and talk about all the stuff that was going on.

Kelly told her about his run-in with Darren Chesnick at the gym.

"He had to go on long term disability…and he's pretty pissed about it."

"I can imagine…" Alyssa said quietly. "How many times did you tell me when first got together that Squad was the only thing you had going for you? Even if that wasn't true…"

"It was all I'd ever wanted, Lyssa. It was all I ever thought about doing. I couldn't picture anything else…and I never imagined myself with a wife and kids and all this."

He was quiet for a moment…

"Vargas had a rough time when he first went on LTD. He just made Squad about a month or so before that fire…and he breathed in those fumes…that trip to the hospital's what uncovered all the other stuff. There was one night there…he was ready to jump off the roof."

"But he managed to pull it all together…" Alyssa pointed out.

"Yeah…but he had his landscaping business…and it's not like his friends abandoned him. We still met up for beers and whatever." Kelly said. "And now he's got the kids here…he loves Andy and Jesse and Maggie like they really are his niece and nephews."

And the twins loved to hang out with their Uncle Jose. He had just taken them out for pizza and bowling when Kelly was on shift. He came to all their games…he filled in as an assistant coach…

"And there's all the things he's doing to help Declan…" Alyssa said.

Vargas was part of the team Kelly had put together to help Declan get into the CPFTA. Every day Kelly couldn't, Vargas took the fifteen year old down to the gym and coached him through the same physical training regimen the Academy put every Candidate through.

Even though he'd been out of the department for over ten years, Vargas was still one of them. The team had reached out and kept him afloat in the beginning…but now Vargas was right there for each and every one of them…ready to pitch in, ready to lend a hand…or a shoulder to lean on.

Kelly doubted Chesnick had any of that. He'd bounced around to so many different houses…he probably didn't really have any ties to one of them. The word on the guy was that he was a hot head…and the reason for all the transfers was because he couldn't get along with anyone.

"Maybe this guy just needs a friend, Kelly." Alyssa said. "Why don't you invite him over for dinner some night?"

"Maybe…if I run into him again…I don't have his number or anything. Besides…there's something else I need to talk to you about."

"What's that , Baby?"

"I went by the hospital to see Matt. He's climbin' the walls, waitin' to get out of there."

"It's been almost two weeks now…I know how he feels."

"Well…the doctor's worried about sendin' him home 'cause he lives by himself. Somethin' about how there could be late effects from the concussion…"

Alyssa nodded…she understood full and well what he was talking about.

"Well, you know what the best solution would be here…" she told him.

And Kelly just pulled her close. He loved that they were on the same page with this.

Tomorrow he'd go over to the hospital and tell Matt he was welcome to stay with them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"I was talking to Jessica yesterday." Kathy said to Alyssa.

Jessica was the manager of the coffee shop that had recently opened down the block from the thrift store.

The family was sitting down to brunch on Sunday after church. With everybody living so close this was something they did every week now. Sometimes they got together at Alyssa and Kelly's, sometimes Nicky and Kathy's…everybody brought something…and they just enjoyed the day.

"She was telling me about this creep who came in the other day…" Kathy went on. "He called himself…get this…Nicco Suave! Can you believe that?"

"So aside from the name…what's wrong with the guy?" Joey asked.

"Apparently he thought he was some kind of wise guy…he was talking about for a reasonable monthly fee his neighborhood watch committee would guarantee nothing bad happened to her store."

"Are you serious?" Nicky asked. "That's extortion…"

"She said laughed at the guy." Kathy said. "She said told him to get out…"

"He was in our store about a month or so ago." Lyssa said.

"What?" Kelly asked. "You never told me that."

Alyssa sighed.

"Nobody could possibly take this guy seriously, Honey." She said. "He was…just absolutely ridiculous…the way he dressed. The leather…the gold chains…his hair all greasy. Oh…and my God…the _cologne_! I almost gagged!"

Joey was snickering…

"And it gets better…" Alyssa said. "The minute the guy opened his mouth, I thought I'd die laughing…it was like he was doing this New York Italian thing…he sounded like Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny"!"

Her brothers just rolled their eyes…

"Sounds like somebody we know…" Kathy said.

"Sounds like a few somebodies we know…" Alyssa added in a teasing voice.

" I don't know what you're talkin' about." Joey cut in.

"Neither do I…" Nicky added.

All the Boungiovanni brothers had prob'ly done the "Wise Guy" routine at one point or another when they were young…Joey in particular…he had the looks to pull it off.

Not that any of them would ever admit to it now…

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Kelly was looking around the table…they were all making jokes…and here was some idiot trying to shake down businesses for protection money.

And he'd gone into Alyssa's store…this guy had talked to _his wife_.

"So what happened?" he asked.

He just couldn't appreciate the humor right at the moment.

Alyssa rolled her eyes.

"He hinted that there had been some trouble…the fires in the neighborhood…" she told him. "I just stared him down…threw in a few of the dozen or so Italian words I know…played that card with him. He was put off his game, that's for sure…and then he just tucked his tail between his legs and left."

Her brothers snickered again. Back in the day…they'd seen their baby sister make a fool out of more than one guy.

"You shoulda told him to leave the gun and take the cannolis." Joey chuckled.

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Two days later…Alyssa came home with their new house guest.

It had taken some convincing…but Matt had agreed to come stay with Kelly and Alyssa and the kids for a couple weeks.

There really wasn't any other option…besides the concussion, Casey had cracked a couple ribs…and his entire back was black and blue.

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They had to stop at his place to pick up some things…

"I can do that…" Matt told Alyssa as he watched her struggling with his duffle bag.

The thing was almost as big as she was.

"I doubt that sincerely…" she told him.

She led him into the guest room right off the dining room.

"Just tell me where you want everything…" she said as she hauled the bag up onto the bed.

"I'll do it…" Casey said as he reached for the bag, but then he was stopped short by a stab of pain in his ribs.

"Ahhhh!"

Alyssa looked at him seriously…and she gently laid one hand on his shoulder.

This was one way he and Kelly were so very much alike.

They were both stubborn as hell…

"Matt…will you just rest…please? Let us take of you, okay?"

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When Kelly got home in the morning he found Casey all settled in…

He walked into the kitchen to find the whole family there.

The boys jumped up from their chairs and came running…

"Ah…ah!" Kelly warned them right before they could paste him.

The twins skidded to a half right before the moment of impact.

It was so hard to remember sometimes…

Alyssa came to hug him.

As he wrapped her tiny frame in his arms, he breathed a sigh of relief…just glad to be home.

There had been another fire last night.

That whole section of town was starting to look like the pictures in the history books…the ones taken after the Great Fire…where the city was nothing more than a burnt out shell of itself.

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"So how are things down at the office?" Casey asked as the family sat down to dinner.

"Dad doesn't go to an office…" Andy said.

Casey chuckled…then winced as he put his hand to his ribs.

"I'm just teasin', Buddy…"

But Kelly just shook his head. He didn't want to talk in front of the kids.

"Let's just say we earned our pay last night…"

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There was an awkward moment of silence…until Casey remembered something he meant to tell Kelly.

"Hey…you'll never guess who else got discharged yesterday…" he said. "That guy from the warehouse…Daniel. He got moved over to RIC."

RIC…the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. Where Daniel could receive the most intensive therapy…to prepare him for his new life in a wheelchair.

But at least the guy was alive…at least he had a chance to be a father to his kid.

"How's he doin"?" Kelly asked.

He and Matt had worked for over three hours to pull the young man from the rubble of a boiler explosion. They had talked to him in order to keep him calm…to keep him conscious…and they'd heard the guy's life story. How he was from a small town in southern Illinois where his family was a big deal…how he met his girlfriend at school…and how his parents didn't approve. But they'd stayed together despite all the pressure from his father to enter the family business…and find a suitable wife.

When they learned they were expecting, they decided to make a clean break. They didn't want to raise their baby amongst all the animosity…and they decided to come to the big city. It was Daniel's third day on the job…with a company that they had since learned had OSHA violations out the whazoo.

Kelly could smell a class action lawsuit coming…

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They fell into a comfortable pattern at home, but at the firehouse it was anything but.

One afternoon the arson detectives came down to Station 51 to share what they had discovered…and it wasn't much.

There had been nine fires in small, new businesses in the last two and a half months. All the targets were within a five mile radius. In three cases they had found evidence suggesting some kind of time delayed, remotely detonated device had been used. One of those was the Italian restaurant that had nearly crippled Station 51 in terms of manpower.

Chief Boden asked Kelly to sit in as well as Lieutenant Spellman, who was Casey's relief while he was out on medical furlough.

Antonio Dawson was there…he was on loan from Vice to Major Case.

He shook Severide's hand and the men sat down to talk business.

"So we got a lotta common threads…problem is they're pretty loose ones" Antonio started. "The most promisin' lead is that a few of the business owners mentioned a weird occurrence in the weeks leadin' up to the fires. Apparently there's some punk kid who calls himself "Nicco Suave"…he came in to talk to them about his "neighborhood watch program"…for a reasonable monthly fee he'd guarantee nothin' bad was gonna happen to their business…"

"Protection racket…" Chief summed it up.

Antonio nodded.

"Yeah…he's trying to resurrect an old dinosaur."

"He talked to Alyssa…" Kelly said suddenly. "He was in her store a couple months ago."

That got Antonio's interest in a hurry.

"How do you know it's the same guy?" he asked.

"She talked about it a couple weeks ago…she was talkin' to her sister-in-law…they said the name."

"And what happened? I mean with Alyssa?"

Kelly was nervous now. Now he wondered if he'd get a call out to his own wife's store some night."

"She thought it was a joke…she said she stared the guy down…embarrassed him, I guess…she and her family got a big laugh outta it."

Antonio shook his head. Alyssa may have unknowingly made herself a target for a serial arsonist.

"I'd like to talk to her…get the details…maybe sit her down with some mug books. "Nicco Suave" can't be this punk's real name."

"Kelly…is she home now?" Boden asked.

"Yeah…she's got Maggie and Ainsley today…and Casey's there…"

Boden sat forward at his desk, balancing on his elbows…he had a dark expression on his face and Kelly could practically see the storm clouds gathering in his eyes.

"I want you…" he said, his deep bass rumbling like thunder. "I want you to take Detective Dawson over to your place to talk to Alyssa right now. I want a picture of this punk…I want a name…and I want this piece of garbage off the streets."

Kelly met Boden's stare…and he knew Chief wanted the person responsible for putting four of his men in the hospital hanging from the highest tree.

What was that line? They put one of yours in the hospital…you put one of theirs in the morgue?

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"Lyssa?" Kelly called out as he walked in the back door.

He led Antonio Dawson through the playroom and into the kitchen.

Alyssa was just coming downstairs from putting the girls down for their nap. She quickened her steps when she heard her husband's voice

The only time he ever came home in the middle of a shift was when he was hurt. The worry in her eyes was unmistakable as she crossed the room and Kelly opened his arms to her. She stepped into his strong embrace and he hugged her tight to show her he was okay.

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"What's wrong?" she asked. "What are you doin' home?"

Kelly stepped to one side and that's when Alyssa saw he wasn't alone.

"I don't know if you ever met Antonio Dawson…Gabby's brother."

Then he introduced Antonio to his wife.

Alyssa shook the hand the detective held out to her…she was thoroughly confused.

Casey had made his way from the living room. He held out his hand.

"Antonio…long time no see."

"Hey, Matt." Dawson said. "How're you doin'?"

Casey shrugged.

"Comin' along…it's slow."

Then Kelly explained the reason for the visit.

"Lyssa…Antonio's workin' the arson cases…and he needs to talk to you about that Nicco guy that came into the store…"

He put his arm around her and guided her out to the dining room table.

"But that was months ago…" Alyssa said as she sat down.

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Once they were all together Antonio brought Alyssa and Casey up to date on the investigation.

"So…a couple different people said this wanna-be Tony Soprano came in lookin' to sign 'em up for protection…they all told him to go to hell…and…"

"Their business goes up in flames…" Casey finished for him.

"Exactly…" Antonio said with an affirmative nod. "So anything you got…"

Alyssa's eyes went wide as she realized how close she might have come to being one of the victims herself.

Why had this guy left her and her store alone?

Kelly watched the expression on her face…and he moved closer to his wife and put his arm around her reassuringly.

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"Well…" Alyssa began. "Like I said…it was a couple months ago. I was alone in the store and I had Maggie with me. These three guys walked in…they had really expensive leather jackets…gold chains…they looked Italian…all of them. And they looked like they belonged in a club rather than a resale shop."

"Did you get a name?" Antonio asked.

Alyssa nodded slowly.

"The one who came up to the counter said his name was Nicco. He was talkin' like he was from New York…or at least he was trying to ."

"You didn't get any kind of last name?"

Alyssa shook her head and Antonio looked defeated for a moment.

It was obviously the same guy. The descriptions were two similar not to be. But the name "Nicco Suave"…first of all it was too ridiculous to be real…second of all…the cops had already run it…and came up empty.

"So what happened?"

Antonio figured he might as well get the rest of the story.

"He asked if I had heard about the fires they'd had around the neighborhood…" she said. "And I said I had…and that my husband's a firefighter. That kinda knocked him down a peg."

Kelly tightened his hold on her…and with his free hand he reached out and covered Alyssa's hands…which were folded in front of her. He gently rubbed the pad of his thumb across the back of her hand…just like she'd done with him God only knows how many thousand times.

She took a deep breath and went on with the story.

"So he said that I seemed nice and he wouldn't want me to have any trouble…and I told him the store was affiliated with the Church and people in this neighborhood still have a lot of respect for the Church. Then I dropped a few Italian words and phrases into the conversation…basically to let him know I saw right through the Godfather act…and he backed down and left."

"That's it?" Antonio asked.

"That's it…" Alyssa replied. "He looked kinda embarrassed…but he didn't make a scene or anything."

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Not much to go on…but Antonio was 1000% convinced it was the same guy.

"Would you be willing to look through some mug books? We need a name on this guy. He's goin' around callin' himself "Nicco Suave"."

"He can actually say that with a straight face?" Casey asked.

"Hard to believe, right?" Antonio said. "So…can you come down to the precinct? Or we could meet at the firehouse?"

"Sure…" Alyssa said quietly.

"Let's do it down at Station 51." Kelly said.

He could see this was already wearing on Alyssa…and he wanted to be there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Slowly but surely life started getting back to normal.

Hermann finally got out of the hospital…and the men and women at Station 51 were holding their collective breath to see whether or not they'd get him back.

Casey was cleared to return to work…and he and Severide strode into the house that first day ready for battle.

"Hey! Look who's back!" Dawson called out as she came to hug Matt.

The team gathered around the two Lieutenants…they slapped Casey on the back and welcomed him home…

"Thanks guys…" he said. "It's good to be back."

"You…uh…look like you put on a few pounds there, Lieutenant…" Otis kidded.

They all knew Casey had spent almost three weeks staying at Severide's.

"Yeah…" Casey agreed, rubbing his hand across his gut. "Alyssa was doin' her best to fatten me up."

"Now you know why I gotta work out two or three hours every day…" Severide threw in.

Casey just shot him a look…and Kelly met his stare.

That was their little secret…

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Matt had seen Kelly after a few of those workouts…he had seen Alyssa help her husband to the couch…elevate his knee…ice it…wrap it.

They'd joked about it…as they lay at opposite ends of the huge sectional sofa in the living room…a couple of broken down old firefighters.

Twenty plus years in the department was tough on a man. Both of them had been injured time and time again…yet somehow they kept going.

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"Engine 51…Truck 81…Ambulance 61…Squad 3…"

The call came out for a traffic accident on the Edens.

"Welcome back, Lieutenant!" Cruz said as they ran for the apparatus room.

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Kelly pulled his t-shirt over his head and ran his fingers through his still wet hair. He reached down to grab the towel off the bench and dried his hands before he stuffed it into his gym bag with his sweat soaked workout clothes.

He took his watch off the shelf in his locker and looked at it before he slapped it on his left wrist.

He was running late. He was supposed to meet Alyssa in about half an hour. They were gonna grab a bite to eat before they had to be over at St. Pasqual's for parent-teacher conferences.

"Hey, Severide…"

Kelly turned at the sound of his name. And he smiled when he saw Darren Chesnick opening a locker a few away from his.

He'd been thinking about the guy and had hoped he'd run into him again. He decided to take Alyssa's suggestion and reach out. Maybe a friend was what the guy needed right now.

"Hey Darren…good to see you, man!"

"Right back at ya…" Chesnick said. "You comin' or goin'?"

"Goin'…I gotta meet up with my wife. We've got somethin' at my kids' school tonight."

Chesnick looked disappointed.

"Too bad…I thought maybe we could work out."

"Definitely…another time…" Kelly said. "Let me get your number…maybe you come have dinner one night…hang out, whatever?"

Chesnick shrugged.

"Sure…or we could just grab a beer."

Kelly took out his phone and entered his password. Then he handed it to Chesnick who entered his number.

"Thanks…"Severide said after he handed the device back. "I'll give you call tomorrow or the next day and we can set somethin' up."

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He and Alyssa met at a little pub near the house…so near, in fact, Alyssa had walked over in the early fall evening.

She was already waiting at a table and she'd already ordered him a beer.

He leaned down to kiss her before he slid into the booth across from his beautiful wife.

"Sorry I'm late…" he said.

"No problem…I ordered some calamari. It should be up soon."

No sooner had the words left her mouth than the waitress appeared with a platter piled high with golden fried calamari.

They ordered their burgers and fries…and when the waitress left to put in the order they dug in.

"I ran into Chesnick again…" Kelly said as he dipped a bite into the sauce. "I got his number…and I figure I'd invite him over one night next week."

"Sounds good…it'll be nice to meet him." Alyssa replied with a smile.

And when she did, Kelly couldn't help but smile himself.

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The night Chesnick came to dinner started out like any other.

Alyssa was preparing a feast…upping the game from the usual weeknight fare…which was a gourmet meal to most people anyway.

Kelly helped Andy and Jesse with their homework and he was on the floor with Maggie stacking pink and purple Legos when the doorbell rang.

He reached out to the baby and tweaked her little nose before he stood up and headed for the door.

Maggie giggled as he pretended to tuck it in his pocket…and she popped up and ran after him.

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The boys were already clamoring to undo the locks when Kelly kind of shooed them aside.

He slipped the chain and opened the front door.

Andy and Jesse took a step back when they saw the mountain of a man who filled the whole door frame. Chesnick was huge! Way bigger than their dad…way bigger than any of their uncles.

He had a shaved head like Capp or Uncle Jose…but that's where any similarity ended. He didn't have a friendly smile…or a warm twinkle in his eyes. Everything about this man looked hard and cold.

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"Darren…c'mon in." Kelly greeted him.

He took a step back and nearly tripped over Maggie…who was hanging on his leg…starring up at their guest.

Chesnick looked down at the three kids…and Maggie hid behind Kelly.

"Guys…this is Darren. He's a friend of mine…" Kelly told the boys.

Andy and Jesse both swallowed hard as they looked up…and up…

"Darren…meet my boys…Andy…"

Andy slowly held out his hand…just like Dad had taught him.

"And Jesse…"

Jesse copied his brother…and the boys shook the huge man's hand.

Meanwhile Kelly scooped Maggie into his arms.

"And this is my Baby Girl…Maggie Grace."

But Maggie just put her head on Kelly's shoulder and burrowed into him…grabbing a fist full of t-shirt for good measure.

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He was trying to coax her out when Alyssa came out of the kitchen.

"Darren…meet my wife." Kelly said, as he gave up on getting Maggie to look at their guest. "Alyssa…this is Darren Chesnick."

Alyssa held out her hand…there was something…_menacing_…about the man in front of her, and she wondered if she had made a mistake suggesting Kelly befriend this guy. She almost shuddered at the chill that went down her spine.

But she managed to hold it together.

"I'm glad to meet you." She said.

Her hand in Chesnick's looked like a child's.

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Dinner was so quiet…it was unnatural.

Maggie didn't want to let go of Kelly to sit in her booster seat at the table…but they finally managed to put her in her place. The twins sat almost completely silent across from Chesnick. None of the kids wanted to sit next to this huge man with the angry face…and usually when any other firefighter came to dinner they were fighting over who got to sit next to Uncle Matt or Uncle Pete or Chief…

Chesnick didn't seem to notice that he had the whole side of the table to himself. Either that or her didn't care. He didn't even speak to Alyssa or the kids…instead he addressed Kelly exclusively. And all he wanted to do was bitch about the department and how unfairly he was being treated. He gave seventeen years…_seventeen years_ of putting his life on the line and this is how they repay him?

Andy and Jesse asked to be excused…they didn't like this man. He was nothing like any of their uncles. He didn't laugh or smile or joke…and he didn't want to play with them.

Maggie had to leave the table as well…and Alyssa took her and the boys upstairs to get ready for bed. It didn't matter that it was way too early…the kids were all too happy to get away.

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Kelly stood up to clear the table for his wife…and he knew inviting Chesnick had been a huge mistake. The guy wanted a buddy, sure…he wanted someone to work out with or have a beer…but he didn't want to be part of the family.

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After Chesnick left, Kelly went upstairs to find Alyssa in their room with all three kids. The boys were asleep on the queen size bed…and Maggie was cuddled in her mommy's arms.

He carried the twins one by one into their room and tucked them into their own beds…and then he went back to get his daughter. She stirred in his arms…then she seemed to realize who had her, and she snuggled in. And Kelly felt guilty for bringing someone who upset his kids so badly into their home.

He laid Maggie in her crib and tucked her blanket around her. He took another minute to stroke her silky baby curls and then to just feel her little chest rise and fall underneath his fingers.

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He went back downstairs…and Alyssa was already in the kitchen putting up the leftovers. Kelly pushed up his sleeves and began to rinse the plates and silverware and load them into the dishwasher.

"I'm sorry about tonight, Babe…" he said. "I had no idea the guy'd be such an ass."

Alyssa sighed.

"It's not your fault, Kelly. But he was…something else." She said with a shudder…the one she had been holding in all evening.

She couldn't figure out why the man was sooo…_angry_. It was sad that he'd gotten sick…but his behavior seemed _unnatural_…way, way, _way _over the top. Even when he was sitting at the table…eating his dinner…he had one hand resting beside his place…clenched into a tight fist.

"Do you think maybe he's on something?" she wondered out loud.

"What?" Kelly asked. "What're you talkin' about?"

"He's so huge…his muscles…and he seemed so aggressive…I'm just wondering if he's doping or something."

"You think he's taking steroids?"

The thought had never even crossed his mind.

"What's to stop him?" Alyssa said. "I mean…he doesn't have to worry about peeing in cup anymore."

Kelly turned off the water and dried his hands on the towel beside the sink. Then he crossed the kitchen to take his wife in his arms.

As Alyssa slid her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest, he leaned down to place a tender kiss against her hair.

And he thought to himself that if he was going to continue to try and reach out to Chesnick…he was going to have to do it in a way that kept his family out of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

People stepped aside as the mountain of a man entered Joe's…the coffee shop about half a block from Helping Hands. It was a new place…one of dozens in the neighborhood…and it was already popular with the college kids from DePaul and young, working twenty-somethings. They had live music on the weekends, poetry readings, hosted book discussions…and made a damn good cup of coffee.

Jessica…the part time manager…a twenty-one year old girl with blonde hair and grey eyes looked up at the man with the bulging muscles and the shaven head.

"May I help you?" she asked.

The man "smiled" down at her. But it wasn't a friendly, sincere smile. This was forced, dark…dangerous.

"I'm Ted Green…" he said.

He pulled a badge out of his pocket.

"I'm a firefighter over at Station 51…just down Irving Park?"

The girl nodded…not quite sure where this was going.

"You know there's been a bunch of fires in the past few months…" "Green" continued.

Again, the girl nodded.

"We're goin' around to the local businesses…doin' spot inspections…just as a community service. I'm here to check your outlets, your circuits…your alarm…fire exits…again, just as a precaution."

That made sense…

"Of course…if you just follow me…" she said.

"That's not necessary…I can find my way around." "Green" said.

"But the owner said…"

"Green" just gave the girl a hard, cold look.

"It'll go much faster if you just let me take care of business, Miss."

Less than an hour later, "Green" walked out of the coffee shop, having completed his "inspection" and assuring the young manager that he'd found nothing to be concerned about.

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"Engine 51…Truck 81…Ambulance 61…Squad 3…"

The team ran for the rigs and was rolling out the door less than a minute later.

"Hey, Lieutenant?" Clark said as he hit the siren. "That's not your wife's store, is it?"

"No…but it's not far…" Severide answered. "Just a few doors down."

As they raced to the scene, Kelly had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He'd bet his bottom dollar this fire was connected to all the others…but there was one big difference. The other fires had been late at night, when nobody…or very few people…were around.

But this was nine o'clock on a Friday night. Most of the little shops up and down the block were still open or just about to close.

Apparently the person…or persons responsible were looking to up their game.

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It was worse than he thought.

Severide jumped down off the rig to see the coffee shop in flames.

It was absolute chaos…trying to get the civilians out of the way…trying to see what needed to be done first. There were a couple dozen people, many injured…and Kelly could see people still inside.

"Guys!" he called to his team, "Gear up! Let's move!"

He pulled his hood and mask on in record time and he ran for the building.

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There were a few victims just stumbling through the smoke…and he steered them out the door.

"Mills…with me!" he called out over the radio. "We'll take the right! You guys go left!"

With Mills now right behind him he skirted the right hand side of the store working his way back.

He tried to remember the layout of the place…he'd been in there once before…when he stopped in to get Alyssa coffee and a croissant while she was working in the thrift shop.

Through the flames he could make out a victim lying on the floor…he couldn't tell if it was a him or a her…and a young girl bent over the body, trying to get whoever it was on their feet.

Severide grabbed the girl by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet. He passed her off to Mills and he grabbed the other one.

It was a girl…young…blonde…she couldn't be more than twenty.

They delivered the injured to Shay and Dawson, who were running around, trying to be everywhere at once.

As he ran back in, Severide could hear the sirens of the second-in companies getting closer and closer.

They couldn't get there fast enough…

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With all the excitement, no one noticed the hulk of a man watching from across the street. He was a few doors down from the action, mostly concealed in an alley way along the side of a building. And if they had noticed him...they'd see he had a satisfied expression on his face.

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Kelly was late getting home Friday morning.

The after-action report after the fire at Joe's…he'd been up all night working on it. It was such a mess.

There had been close to forty-five people in the shop when the wall of coffee machines suddenly exploded. Three people working right there had been not only blasted…but showered in gallons of hot liquid. One had died instantly…another on the way to the hospital…and the third was barely hanging on.

There had been a musician on the stage…and young college guy playing an acoustic set. He had tried to save the people around him and been severely burned in the process.

And blonde the girl Kelly had saved…she was in critical condition.

There had been a secondary blaze in the back…cutting off the rear exit…so the kitchen staff had been trapped. One man had tried to put out the flames with a fire extinguisher in an effort to clear a path to the back door…but it had been way too much to handle by himself. Thank God they had been able to get them all out.

Trying to keep it all straight…who did what…everything had been running together in Severide's mind as he reported Squad 3's part in the efforts.

The place was a total loss.

And Kelly still had that bad feeling…

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The boys had a day off of school…and Monday was Columbus Day…so four day weekend.

And every kid in the neighborhood, it seemed, was over at the Severide's.

Joey and Emma Lynn's three were there…along with Mia and Micah from down the block. Connor was over playing with the twins…it was a mad house.

So much for a quiet, relaxing day.

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Alyssa was at the sink rinsing the pile of dishes that came from feeding nine kids breakfast.

She turned when she heard the door and cast a smile at her husband before she turned back to her job.

Kelly crossed the room in only a few strides and put his arms around her tiny frame. He pressed against her…and left a little trail of kisses along the side of her neck.

She sighed and leaned back against him. And he smiled to himself.

"You okay, Babe?" he asked.

"Just wildly outnumbered…" she answered. "You know how you said you wanted your own baseball team?"

"Or my own football team…" he said with a grin. "I'm not fussy about which."

Alyssa laughed weakly.

"Well you can forget it, Severide…"

"Or we could just practice…" he told her. "I'm always up for that."

She turned off the water and reached for a towel to dry her hands.

Then she turned to Kelly and slipped her arms up around his neck. And he leaned down to give her a proper kiss…

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Once they broke apart for some much needed air she had a chance to study his face. She looked deep into his tired eyes.

"Rough night?" she asked.

"I don't think "rough" even begins to cover it…" he said with a hint of a sigh.

There was something more…she knew when he was holding something back.

"Tell me…" she said. "Where?"

"The coffee shop down the block from the store. Nine o'clock last night. There were almost fifty people in there. Three fatalities already…and there's prob'ly gonna be more. I lost track 'a how many ambulances there were."

"Was Jessica there?" Alyssa asked.

She had gotten to know the girl well over the past year or so…she was a real sweetheart…working to put herself through school. She came into the thrift shop on a fairly regular basis…she bought clothes…and little things for her apartment…and she always took a few minutes to talk…and to play with Maggie if Alyssa had the baby with her.

"Which one is she?"

Kelly couldn't remember if he'd ever met her.

"She's pretty little…a little bigger than me, maybe. And she's got blonde hair."

Kelly swallowed hard.

The girl he had pulled out…the one the other girl had been trying to wake…

"I think she was, Babe." He said softly. "I pulled a little girl with blonde hair out…but she was in bad shape."

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Lyssa moved her arms from around his neck to hug him around the waist. She tried to get as close to him as she could. And he just wanted to wrap his arms around her…and protect her from everything that was going on out there…

"It's that Nicco guy, isn't it." She said softly. "It's gotta be."

She had spent hours pouring over mug books Antonio brought down to the firehouse. Kelly didn't want them in the house where the twins might get into them. It would be just like the boys to be curious…

"We don't know…but I'd put my money on him…"

"They've gotta get him…" she said…a hard edge creeping into her voice. "They've gotta get him."

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They were an odd pair…the two men sitting in the back corner booth in a dive bar on the west side.

The short, barrel chested, dark haired guy looked so out of place in his expensive clothes and his thick gold chain with a cross hanging down.

But then again…so did the tall, jacked up guy with the shaved head. A cross between Mr. Clean and the Incredible Hulk.

They were talking in hushed tones…but there was no mistaking the anger each had for the other. That was obvious even from ten yards away.

"What the hell were you thinkin'?" Shorty hissed…all traces of his "Bronx" accent gone with the wind.

"Nicco Suave" was just for show. Now Nick Salisino, the boy who grew up on Austin and Belmont, attended St. Ferdinand's school, was sweatin' bullets as he confronted "Ted Green" from Station 51...

"All those people in there! My God…there's people _dead_ now…there's people in the hospital…"

The giant on the other side of the booth leaned forward on the elbows…his enormous hands clenched into tight fists…the veins in his thick neck bulging.

"We need to start showin' people we mean business! We need to let these fuckin' condescending bureaucrats and stuck-up assholes they can't disrespect us!"

"But we never said anything about killin' innocent people!"

"There _are_ no innocent people! They think _they_ got all the power…they can look down on people…decide the rest of your fuckin' life for you! _You're_ a fuckin' candy ass! _You_ ain't got the balls you were born with!"

With that he shoved the table forward…pinning Nick and causing him to gasp as the table rammed his solar plexus…got up and stalked out of the bar.

And so ended Nicco/Nick's brief, tenuous…and now deadly business association with Darren Chesnick.

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Antonio Dawson strode up to the firehouse, looking like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders.

The fire at Joe's…that was catapulting his investigation into a whole different stratosphere. There was no doubt it was tied to the other fires. Arson had found charred bits of cell phones in four different locations throughout the structure. They were surmising these were used to remotely detonate small, strategically placed explosions…explosions that singly wouldn't have done more than create a small to medium sized blaze…but the combined effect was nothing short of devastating.

The coffee house was a total loss…and the storefronts on either side had sustained heavy damage as well. But the loss of life in this case…the body count was up to five…and there were still a dozen victims in serious to critical condition.

They had to catch a break…and they had to catch one fast.

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Severide saw the detective pull up in front of the station and went out to meet him.

"Hey…" he said.

"Hey…" Antonio relied.

"Did ya find somethin'?"

There was no point in beating around the bush…they both knew why Dawson was there.

Antonio sighed.

He hadn't slept in two days…hadn't showered…barely ate.

"Can I get a cup of coffee?" he asked.

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Kelly led Antonio into the common room…and the entire team stopped whatever they were doing to hear what he had to say.

Gabriella set a cup of coffee down in front of her big brother…and they all waited on pins and needles while he took a sip.

Momentarily fortified…he looked into the expectant faces of his sister and all her colleagues.

"We picked up "Nicco Suave" last night…" he began.

"Where?" Boden's voice rumbled across the room as he strode toward the group.

"You'll never believe it…" Antonio said. "We picked him up goin' into the church. Apparently he had somethin' he needed to confess."

Kelly's hand clenched into a tight fist.

What he wouldn't give to be the one doling out the penance in this case. The guy'd be on his knees…no doubt about that…but there wouldn't be any 'Hail Mary's' or Acts of Contrition involved.

One glance around the room told him he wasn't alone in his feelings.

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Antonio continued what he had come to say.

"Guy's real name is Nicholas Salisino…he's twenty-six…he flunked outta two high schools…and he's got an affinity for Mafia movies. He sees himself as some kinda modern day Michael Corleone."

"So you got him?" Kelly asked. "It's over?"

Antonio shook his head.

"It's not him." He said.

"Whaddya mean 'it's not him'?" Cruz asked.

"I mean it's not him." Antonio repeated. "The guy eventually copped to the extortion…but this punk doesn't have the IQ points to tie his own shoes…forget pulling off somethin' like this."

"So he's workin' with someone…" Casey said.

Antonio nodded.

"Yeah…that's my take on it." He said. "But I questioned this punk for seven hours…and I couldn't get a name outta him."

He looked at the men and women gathered around him.

"We pulled in a couple of his buddies too…" he went on. "And they're all one stupider than the other. It was like "Beavis and Butthead" meets "Dumb and Dumber". There's no way any 'a these guys are behind the actual fires themselves."

He paused…dreading the next words he was about to say.

"I think we may be lookin' for a firefighter."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

They were due for something good to happen.

The arrest of "Nicco Suave" and his gang hadn't done a damn thing to stop the rash of fires that were coming at an alarmingly faster rate than ever before.

Now the police were starting to question the connection between the wanna-be mobsters and the arsonist.

Kelly and Boden…Casey…and all the rest of the firefighters were convinced there _was_ a connection. At least there was in the beginning. Now even with Nicco and his boys locked up at 26th and California the fires kept coming…at least one a week. It appeared their arsonist had gone renegade.

Last shift they had gotten a call to back up a Downtown company on a high rise job on the Gold Coast. Kelly's first thought had been Hollywood…but the address was about a hundred off.

Squad 3 brought a man down from the thirty-ninth floor…it was his apartment that was the seat of the fire. The man…a guy in his early to mid-forties was outside the actual unit by that point…but he seemed kinda out of it. He looked like he was trying to get back into the raging inferno that was once his home.

As Severide and Mills brought him down, all Kelly could hear was the guy wailing. His actual injuries didn't seem that bad…but then again, burns could hurt like hell…no pun intended. But Kelly had definitely seen worse.

But what struck him was the man's near incoherent rambling…

"God!...No!...No, no…no!" he cried. "First my store…now my house! Oh, God! Oh, my God!"

Once that registered, Kelly realized this was one of the business owners that had turned down Nicco Suave's security service…

Now the poor guy really and truly _had_ lost everything.

It also confirmed his theory…at least in _his_ mind…that there was a connection…and that there was still a _very_ real threat out there.

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They were due for something good to happen. And little things did…

Hollywood set it up so the kids got to be extras on the show again. This time their scene was set on play ground. The boys were seen chasing one another across the shot…right in front of Maggie on the swings.

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Halloween rolled around…and this time Maggie did her own trick-or-treating…sort of.

Andy and Jesse didn't have a chance to run their "candy for my baby sister" scam…when Kelly brought Little Red Riding Hood up to the door. The boys rang the bell…but when the neighbor opened it, Maggie ducked behind Kelly's legs.

Once her brothers had collected their candy Kelly looked behind him at the little girl doing her best to stay hidden.

"What do you say, Maggie?" he asked.

She looked up at him with those big teal blue eyes and the little lip turned out just the tiniest bit.

"C'mon, Baby Girl…" he cajoled. "Just like we practiced at home…"

Maggie looked up again…like she couldn't believe Daddy was gonna make her do this.

Slowly, the little basket poked out from behind Kelly's legs…followed by a little head with two tiny pigtails…

"Tweet?" she said softly…almost so softly you couldn't hear her.

The neighbor smiled…it was the cutest thing she had ever seen. Everyone on the block knew the Severide kids…and this little one was always hanging on her daddy.

The neighbor bent down and put a couple pieces of candy in Maggie's basket.

"There you go, Sweetie…"

Maggie's eyes went wide at the sight of the treats in her basket.

"Canny, Daddy!" she cried happily. "Canny!"

Kelly could barely keep a straight face.

"See…I told you." He said. "I told you you were gonna get candy."

And Maggie did her little happy dance…right there on the neighbors' porch.

Kelly couldn't help himself…he just burst out laughing right then and there.

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November came and the team celebrated Thanksgiving at the diner…and all Alyssa's brothers and nieces and nephews were there as well. The "family" had grown so much that the restaurant was the only place that could hold them all together. And it was the only place that had an oven big enough to cook half a dozen birds…almost a hundred and fifty pounds of turkey.

Chief stood up at the head of the table…that stretched all the way down the length of the room…and said they had a lot to be thankful for. Capp was coming back…Hermann was coming back…Mouch was doing great after having quadruple bypass surgery two months before. The kids were all happy and healthy. He took a minute to praise Declan's efforts in his training program for the CFPTA. If his first quarter's grades were any indication, the boy was on his way to making straight A's for the semester.

"We're all truly…truly blessed…to have so many people so committed to one another…so many people who'd do anything to help and care for one another. I personally count everyone at this table as a part of my family."

"Amen…" several people agreed in unison.

"Dad? Can we eat now?" Andy asked.

That got everybody laughing.

"Yes, Andy…" Kelly said once he pulled it all together. "You can eat now."

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But there was still a dark cloud looming over them.

It was bound to happen…Kelly ran into Darren Chesnick…this time at a neighborhood pizza place. He had spent the whole day hauling Christmas decorations out of the basement and setting up trees…plural…stringing up lights…and hanging dozens and dozens of ornaments.

Tomorrow he'd tackle the outside lights.

"Severide…"

He heard his name as he strode up to the bar in the restaurant.

He turned around to see Chesnick sitting there…playin' with the label on the long neck in front of him.

"Chesnick…good to see you, man."

"You have a nice holiday?"

There was a hard edge in the man's voice…almost accusatory.

"Yeah…it was good." Kelly replied, choosing to ignore whatever Chesnick might or might not be implying. "How 'bout you?"

"Watched football…polished off a twelve pack…had a couple frozen TV dinners."

Kelly didn't answer.

"You pickin' up dinner? For the family?" Chesnick asked, right before he drained the last of his beer.

"Yeah…Lyssa and I were busy all day." Kelly said. "How 'bout I buy this round."

He signaled the bartender for two beers…and sat down on the stool beside Chesnick.

"So what've you been up to?"

The conversation was awkward…strained. It was like Darren was angling for something…like maybe another invite to dinner?

"Same shit as before." Chesnick answered. "Workin' out…that's pretty much the high point of my day."

Kelly wondered why this guy didn't do some kind of other work. Nearly every firefighter he knew had some kind of side line…Casey had his construction company…Mills had the restaurant…Mouch was planning to go back to his security job he'd had for years…once he was finished with his rehab from the heart surgery.

Kelly still worked on boats for a few of his long time clients…but now he had the consulting work on "Chicago Fire".

So why had Chesnick decided to be a gym rat?

He wasn't even paying attention…then he realized Darren had asked him a question.

"Huh? Sorry…I kinda stepped out for a minute." He said apologetically.

"I was askin' if you ever play handball."

Kelly shrugged.

"I haven't in a long time, why?"

"I thought maybe we could play some time…"

"Sure…sounds good." Kelly replied. "I gotta work tomorrow. But after shift…that'd be fine."

Just then the hostess came out from the kitchen carrying his pizzas…an individual stuffed spinach and mushroom for Alyssa…a thick crust double sausage and pepperoni for him and the boys…and a slice of cheese for Maggie.

Kelly dropped some money on the bar to pay for the beers…

"So give me a call tomorrow and we'll figure out a time and everything…okay?" Kelly said as he went to collect his dinner.

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Kelly wasn't sure what had possessed him when he had agreed to meet Chesnick for a game of handball at the gym. He hadn't played in years…and there was something about the enormous ex-firefighter that gave him the feeling this wasn't gonna be just a friendly game.

Man was he ever right.

From the first serve…it was all he could do just to return the ball…Darren was like a madman and his nearly seven foot arm span gave him a distinct advantage.

Kelly was an aggressive player…he'd never done anything half assed in his life…but Chesnick…he was out for blood.

Darren slapped a hard shot against the front wall…but Kelly knew he'd have no problem returning it. That is till his opponent slammed into him at top speed, knocking him out of bounds. He tried to stop himself…but he wrenched his right knee…just before his shoulder slammed into the wall.

"AAAHHH! God…damn it!"

Kelly tried to stay on his feet…but he slumped against the wall, to keep from hitting the floor.

Leaning his back butt against the wall he doubled over, one hand on either side of his knee.

The pain was enough to cast dark spots across his field of vision.

"AAAHHH!"

He looked up at Chesnick.

"What the hell was that?!" he yelled. "We're just playin' a goddamn game! What're ya hittin' like that for?!"

"Sorry…I tripped."

"Bullshit!"

Kelly straightened up…and put one hand against the wall for support…and gingerly shifted his weight onto his right leg. He had to stop almost the second he put his foot down. He took a couple deep breaths and tried again…just a little weight on the leg. He managed something between a step…and a hop.

Chesnick was watching every move he made…not saying a word…not offering anything in the way of an apology. And not offering to help.

Kelly's blood was boiling…and that anger helped fuel his next hobbling step…and the next…and the next.

It took a few minutes…but he managed to grab his water bottle and his towel and hobble off the court. He stopped in the locker room long enough to grab his gym bag and his jacket…and managed to make it out to his car.

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Once he was sitting inside he pounded the steering wheel with his hand to release some of his anger…and some of the pain.

He contemplated what to do. Should he call Lyssa to come? And take him to the ER? The pain was that bad…and he reached for his phone to do just that. But he stopped. The ER meant a medical report that would find its way into his record at the department. That meant medical furlough and follow-up appointments, and probably rehab. It would be the third time he'd injured his knee…and this wasn't job related. That would be more than a red flag…that would be a frickin' Fourth of July firework show.

He slammed his hand against the steering wheel again. No…he had to pull it together.

He took another deep breath…let it out slowly…and started the car.

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The drive home was excruciatingly painful…and he pulled into his driveway and parked right in the middle…not up in front of the garage the way he usually did. He needed to get as close to the door as he possibly could. He was tempted to drive onto the lawn.

He hauled himself from the car and almost fell on his face when he tried to take a step.

Just one more…just one more…just one more.

That's what he kept telling himself as he hobbled to the porch steps.

He let himself in the back door and slumped back against it as he closed it behind him.

"Alyssa!" he called out.

He squeezed his eyes shut against the waves of pain that were crashing over him.

"Alyssa!" he called out again. "C'mere! I need you!"

But he heard tiny feet slapping against the hardwood floor as Maggie came running at the sound of his voice.

"Daddy!" she cried out happily as she ran toward him.

"Maggie! No!" he yelled. "No!"

Maggie skidded to an abrupt halt.

Daddy never yelled at her before.

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Alyssa came out into the playroom. She saw the look on Kelly's face and went right to his side. He reached for her just as Maggie's face screwed up and she plopped down on her butt before she let loose with the tears.

"Kelly…what happened?" Alyssa asked him over the wails of their daughter.

"My knee…" he choked out. "Help me…I gotta get off it…"

He leaned heavily on her shoulder as she half carried, half dragged him across the four season's room to the leather couch they had there. He could hardly even help her…he could barely support his own weight.

She deposited him…then scooped up her daughter into her arms.

While Kelly struggled to get himself into a comfortable position…if one even existed…Alyssa tried to calm Maggie.

"Shhhh…it's okay Baby…" she whispered. "Daddy didn't mean to yell."

"Bring her here…" Kelly said.

Maggie's cries were breaking his heart.

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He shifted on the couch so Alyssa could sit beside him…crying out in pain as he did.

Alyssa perched herself on the edge of the sofa with Maggie in her arms.

Kelly reached out to his daughter and Maggie just cried louder.

"Maggie…Daddy's sorry…" he choked out. "I didn't mean to scare you…Baby Girl…Daddy's sorry…"

But Maggie continued to cry.

Alyssa got to her feet.

"Shhh…" she whispered as she bounced the baby in her arms. "Let's go get Daddy some ice…"

She gave Kelly a long look.

She felt as bad as he did…and she wanted to comfort him…but Maggie needed her more.

It was like she was torn in two.

"Shhh…" she continued to whisper as she carried Maggie with her into the kitchen.

Kelly could hear the freezer door open and shut…and the drawer where they kept the towels open and close. Then he heard the freezer…or was it the fridge…open and shut.

Then Maggie was quiet.

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When she came back he saw that Maggie had her pink princess sippy cup.

Alyssa set the baby down and grabbed the throw pillows off the loveseat that sat next to the couch. She carefully guided his leg so it was resting on the pillows…then laid the towel across his knee and finally eased the ice pack against it.

Even with her gentle touch he still arched his back and sucked in his breath.

Then Alyssa sank down to her knees beside him…and he grabbed for her hand…crushing it in his. She rubbed her other hand across his shoulder…making slow, rhythmic circles…whispering softly all the while.

All those things together worked magic. Kelly left himself get carried away in the softness of her voice…the soothing pattern of the circles she was still rubbing against his shoulder.

"Shhh…" she whispered to him now. "Nice deep breaths…nice and slow."

When he was finally in control again he loosened his grip on her hand. Slightly.

"What happened, Baby?" she asked.

"Chesnick…he slammed into me…and I twisted it."

Alyssa's mouth settled in a hard line.

Kelly told her everything…the game, how aggressive Chesnick was playing…

Now it was Alyssa's turn to take a deep breath…and try to get some control.

"Kelly…stay away from him." She said. "I know you want to help him…but there's something wrong with him. He's dangerous."

As he lay on the couch in the playroom holding onto his wife…and trying to coax his baby girl to come closer…he wondered if Alyssa could be right about Chesnick.

Was he really dangerous?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was a long and painful week. Everybody was on edge. The twins were anxious because Kelly was hurt again. This time was different than the little things during the summer…where Mom had to wrap the bandage around Dad's leg and put ice on his knee after he worked out or ran around the neighborhood. She did all that this time too, but she also got his crutches out of the basement…and for three days he didn't walk at all.

Then he started to…but still with the crutches…for a couple days…then they went back down in the basement.

Maggie didn't know what was going on. She'd never seen Daddy like this. He didn't pick her up and swing her around till she laughed…he didn't give her her bath at night…and Mommy had to put her in her crib. Daddy didn't want to play…he just laid on the couch with Mommy next to him.

Alyssa was anxious. Kelly didn't want to see a doctor…any doctor. She wanted to call Dr. Burda, the orthopedic surgeon who'd repaired his torn ACL six and a half…almost seven years ago. She tried to get him to go to the ER…and she knew better than to suggest going to the Occupational Health clinic. But she suggested it anyway.

But Kelly could be stubborn as all hell when he wanted to be. He didn't want this on his medical record with the department. He already had a file as thick as the phone book. He was forty-five…and he had twenty three, almost twenty four years with the department…twenty two of them on Squad 3. That was positively ancient…most guys couldn't keep up with the physical demands of the job much past their thirties.

So he and Alyssa just doctored it at home…with rest, ice, wrapping it and keeping it elevated. He called in sick for two shifts…the maximum he was allowed before he was required to get a doctor's note to return to duty.

It was a long and painful week…

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When he went back…and he made up some story about getting some bad sushi when he and Lyssa had gone out with her brothers. But when he was alone in the locker room he pulled up his pants leg to adjust the brace he wore on his knee.

It was a blessedly slow shift…and Kelly was sitting out in the apparatus room in the big, ugly green recliner somebody had hauled in there years ago. He was texting Alyssa…letting her know everything was going okay…that he was okay.

It was unseasonably warm for the first week of December…in the upper-sixties. Of course next week would probably be damn near freezing…and all the idiots would have to get out their space heaters, which they'd put too close to the beds…and the blankets would catch fire. It was the same story every year.

But for now they had the doors open and a light breeze was blowing through…bringing in a few leaves and whatever…they'd have to be swept out…but that's what Candidates were for.

Kelly glanced up from his phone to see a guy in a wheelchair coming up the drive. A girl was pushing him slowly…and the guy was holding a little baby in his lap.

It was Daniel…the guy from the warehouse accident. The guy Severide and Casey had spent about three hours trying to free from the rubble after a boiler had exploded and brought the whole place down like a house of cards.

The young man had a severe spinal injury…it had only been his third day on the job…and now he was in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

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Kelly pushed himself up out of the recliner and stood for a second to shift his weight just right before he walked toward the door to see their visitors.

Casey and the Truck guys had seen Daniel from the window of the common room and came out to see what was going on.

Daniel had a huge smile on his face.

"Hey!" Kelly said. "Good to see you , man!"

He put out his hand to the young man in front of him.

"Good to be here!" Daniel said.

"When'd you get out of the hospital?" Casey asked.

"Got outta rehab about three weeks ago. I still gotta go back every day for therapy…but…" he looked back over his shoulder and smiled at the young woman pushing his chair. "At least I get to go home to my family."

He introduced his girlfriend.

"Guys…this is Beth." He said. "Honey…these are the guys who saved my life…Lieutenant Severide…and Lieutenant Casey."

Casey held out his hand…but Beth launched herself at Matt and gave him a great big hug around his neck. Then she did the same to Kelly.

This wasn't anything that hadn't happened before. Once in a while there were people who got a little emotional. But they were truly grateful to the firefighters for saving their loved ones.

It was one of the best things about the job.

"And who's this little guy?" Casey asked.

He leaned over to tickle the tiny little boy in Daniel's lap.

You could tell right away it was a boy. He had a whole head full of dark hair like Beth…and huge brown eyes that took in everything around him.

He had a little jean jacket on…and under that, Kelly could see the fire truck on his shirt.

Boy, did that ever look familiar.

Kelly leaned over to get a closer look.

He sure was a cute little guy. But then again, all babies were…

"This is our son." Daniel said. "He's four months old today."

"Hey, Buddy…" Kelly said as he stroked one finger across the baby's little fist.

Quick as could be…the little boy grabbed onto that finger and started trying to bring it to his mouth.

Kelly chuckled.

"He's got a helluva grip."

Casey got in there…

"What's your name, Buddy?" he said…like he expected the baby to answer.

"His name's Kelly Matthew…" Daniel said. "Without you two, I might not be here…I might never have gotten a chance to hold my son…to be a dad."

Kelly blinked in surprise…Casey was shocked too. He actually took a step back.

Neither one of them had ever expected anything like that. People sometimes sent cards or letters…once and a while they brought a cake or cookies…but naming your kid after the firefighter's who pulled you out of a wreck? That was something none of them had experienced in all their years with the department.

"I don't know what to say…" Kelly was still stunned.

"You wanna hold him?" Daniel asked.

Kelly reached down and took little Kelly Matthew from his dad…

This was something else…he thought as he held the tiny baby…and he couldn't wait to tell Lyssa. She'd be just as shocked as he was.

"Okay…let somebody else have a turn." Casey said as he reached out for the little boy.

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Kelly sat on the bench in the locker room of the gym.

It was his first workout since his ill-fated handball match…and he didn't want to over-do things.

"I thought you mighta changed gyms or somethin'."

He looked up and saw Darren Chesnick come around the corner.

Kelly rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly.

This was the frickin' last person he wanted to see.

He shot Chesnick a dirty look.

"I haven't exactly been up to exercising…" he said as he adjusted the brace on his knee.

He still had a lot of hard feelings…

There was an uncomfortable silence…then Chesnick changed the subject.

"Did you see that piece in the Trib? About all the fires in those little stores?"

"Some of 'em weren't so little…" Kelly said pointedly. "Ten people are dead…another dozen burned…nothin' little about that."

Chesnick didn't seem to hear that.

"I can't believe the cops are so fuckin' stupid. They can't find a damn piece 'a evidence…or they don't know what to do with it once they find it." He said. "Prob'ly couldn't find their ass with both hands and a map!

"I'll tell ya…if I was the one runnin' this investigation…first thing I'd look at was the wiring…and the gas lines. Hide a little C-4 in a plastic casing…plant it by an outlet…or a gas line…could be there for weeks and weeks and nobody'd ever guess.

"Cell phone detonator…make a call from anywhere…and boom! But the fuckin' cops are too stupid. They should let the fire department handle it…a firefighter'd know how to do it."

There was something about the tone of his voice…the hard edge…the way he was getting all worked up…the veins in his neck were bulging and Kelly could literally watch the guy's pulse pounding. It turned his stomach.

Was Chesnick bragging…or maybe making a confession?

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Kelly yanked open his locker. He had to get out of there. He couldn't stand to be near this guy for even one more second.

"Where ya goin'?" Chesnick asked. "You didn't even work out…"

"I gotta go…I don't think my knee's ready for this yet. I think I better give it a couple more weeks…"

He grabbed his stuff and shoved his street clothes into his bag. He didn't even want to take the time to change. And he hustled out the door as fast as he could without being too conspicuous.

But what he really wanted to do was run like hell.

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He came in his back door and shut it tight behind him…and threw the deadbolt for good measure.

Alyssa came out of the kitchen when she heard the sound.

"Kelly…what are you doin back so fast?"

"I just…needed to come home…I wasn't…"

She quickly closed the space between them and he reached out for her.

"What's wrong, Baby?" she asked…her brown eyes clouded with worry. "Are you okay? Is your knee okay?"

Kelly just hugged her tight. He didn't want to tell her what he had just heard…what he now suspected. She was already so mistrustful of Chesnick. He couldn't burden her with this. Not till he had a chance to think it all through and figure out what to do.

"Kelly?" she asked again.

He released his hold…a little bit anyway.

"Yeah…it's my knee…" he told her. "It feels like it's gonna give."

He leaned heavily on her shoulder and let her help him into the house.

They slowly made their way to the living room and the huge sectional couch.

Kelly felt just a little guilty as he let Alyssa fuss over him…propping his leg up on the pillows…sitting down to comfort him.

Something was bothering him all right…but right now his knee was the least of his worries.

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The next morning he hauled himself out of bed…he'd barely slept at all. He had to talk to someone…but Boden and Casey and the rest of the guys didn't know Chesnick. And he knew he couldn't go to the cops with just a hunch.

He pulled on jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt. He had a lot of work to do today. He'd noticed some overgrown branches in the big tree in the yard. If they got a good snow…those things would break in heartbeat. He didn't want to take a chance on one hitting the house…or one of the kids when they went out to play in the snow.

He grabbed a fleece jacket out of the closet and headed downstairs.

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Alyssa was in the kitchen getting the kids breakfast. He kissed her…then leaned over to kiss Maggie's little head…and muss up the boys' hair a little.

"How you feelin', Baby?" Alyssa asked.

"Better…" he answered. "I'm fine."

He went to grab a mug and pour himself some coffee.

"I'm gonna take care of those overgrown branches today." He said.

Alyssa looked up from what she was doing.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Why don't you just rest today?"

"I can't…I've got a shift tomorrow…and it's supposed to snow this weekend." He told her.

"I'm just worried about you over doing things…"

"I know…but I'll be fine."

"Can't you ask Jose to take care of it?" she suggested.

Kelly set his mug down.

Maybe he'd laid it on a little too thick yesterday…letting Lyssa think his knee was bothering him.

"Fine…" he agreed. "I'll see if Vargas can help. You better plan on linguini and clam sauce for dinner…"

That was Vargas's favorite…

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That afternoon they were up on the ladders cutting away the overgrown branches on the oak tree in the back yard…and Kelly told Jose about Chesnick. Well…he told him some of it anyway…the disastrous dinner…the handball game…the two-ton chip the guy had on his shoulder.

"I know how the guy feels…" Vargas said. "I mean…most days…I feel totally fine. I take my medicines…and I got no problems. I can still do everything I used to…'cept the one thing I loved the most."

"But you moved on…" Severide said.

"Eventually. But I was real bitter at first. I was pissed at the whole goddamn world." He told him. "I was pissed as hell at you."

"Me?" Kelly was taken aback.

"Yeah…when you an' Casey told me…and you were sayin' it was a good deal…take it. You were hidin' that shoulder injury…" Vargas went on… "You were tellin' me to do exactly the opposite of what you would do. I thought you were a hypocrite...at first."

Kelly looked away. He didn't know what to say to that.

"But it's all good." Vargas said. "I got over it…and I think everything worked out the way it was supposed to."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well…if you had cashed it in back then…you might have never met Lyssa…never got married…had the kids."

Vargas looked Kelly in the eye.

"You meetin' Lyssa changed everybody's life. Not just yours. If you hadn't met her…and had that surgery…we might both be as angry and bitter as Chesnick."

Well…since he put it like that…

"It's sad the guy can't move on…but we don't need people like that…none of us." Vargas said.

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Kelly thought about that…later that afternoon as he lay on the couch in the living room.

Alyssa was fussing over him again…still…but now he was just relaxing, inhaling the smell of linguini and clam sauce coming from the kitchen. And watching Vargas play with the kids on the floor…splitting his time between the twins and their Lego city. They were trying to put together…what else? The fire truck. And Maggie's pink and purple Lego princess castle…

He watched Maggie crawl over Vargas like he was a mountain…and smiled as she squealed with laughter when she got tickled.

Jose was right…it was all good now. Even if it might have sucked at the time…everything had turned out the way it was supposed to.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

They got another call…this time to a liquor/cigar store.

The place was supposed be done up to look like a gentleman's club or something. A lot of highly polished, dark varnished wood. Shelf after shelf of whiskey and beer…a wine cellar in the rear of the store…and a walk in humidor.

It was a bad combination…a lot of stuff that burned hot…and burned long. But at least no one was inside. The owner and the two twenty-some year old clerks were all in outside the back door having a smoke break when the first explosion went off in the wine cellar.

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Kelly asked Chief if he could go poke around…and then he called his dad to meet him.

He got down on his hands and knees and checked every outlet…took 'em all apart. And around the out of view ones…he found little bits of melted plastic…and evidence of an epoxy to adhere it to the walls.

As he got to his feet…he fought the urge to heave. Everything Chesnick had said…everything he talked about was right there…right where he said it would be.

"Whaddya say, Pop?" he asked.

Benny picked up the burnt up remains of a cell phone.

"I say somebody knows what they're doing. I say we're lookin' for a pro."

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When Kelly got back to the station…to report what he and his dad had found…Antonio Dawson was already there.

"What's goin' on now?" he asked as he stepped into Boden's office.

"We got a problem…" Antonio started.

"Just one?" Kelly said sarcastically. "That's a relief…"

"That's enough, Severide." Boden said. "You can shut it down right here…"

Severide flopped down into a chair beside Casey.

Detective Dawson sighed. This wasn't an easy thing.

"Chad Markison…the liquor store owner's son…I talked to him today. Guy's just…beside himself. He doesn't understand how this happened. He said they just had an inspection a couple weeks ago."

Antonio looked at them.

"I pulled the department records…there's no record of a recent inspection. The only one the department had on file was the one from before they opened…nine months ago. Then he told me that "Ted Green" from Station 51 was there…he said they were doin' spot inspections of all the businesses in the neighborhood…as a community service."

The three firefighters looked at one another…

"There's no "Ted Green" at this house. Never has been…not since I've been here anyway." Casey said.

"You sure?" Dawson asked. "Maybe on a different shift?"

"Nope…" Chief affirmed. "I can pull the rosters if you like."

Dawson nodded. Then he dropped another name.

"How about a "Darren Chesnick"?"

Casey and Boden shook their heads.

"Nobody by that name either…" Boden said.

Severide gripped the armrests on his chair till his knuckles turned white.

"Who's Darren Chesnick?" Casey asked. "Where'd that name come from?"

"Nicco Suave…" Dawson said with disgust. "Somebody finally did the math and told him how many years he's lookin' at…and he's trying to cut a deal. He gave us this Chesnick guy…and he's willin' to testify as long as we don't charge him with the fires…and accessory to murder."

"I know 'im…" Kelly said quietly.

His voice sounded very far away.

"He's a former firefighter…he never worked here…but I knew 'im from just different events. We always said 'hi…how are you…' and had a beer or two. I ran into him at the gym a while back…we hung out a few times."

"You like him for this?" Dawson asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"Yeah…yeah I do. I saw him a couple weeks ago…and he was runnin' his mouth about the fires…sayin' the cops don't know shit. They don't know what to look for."

He looked at Boden.

"That's why I wanted to go poke around that liquor store, Chief. Everything he said…it was all right there. You can ask my old man."

Dawson stepped out to make a call.

"Chief…the way he did this…these explosives coulda been set weeks ago. God only knows how many places he's hit. We gotta go door to door…check every store in the neighborhood. And someone's gotta check the business owner's homes…this guy's sick."

Antonio came back.

"They ran his address through the DMV…they're sendin' a unit to his house right now."

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But they came back empty.

Detective Dawson came by to break the bad news.

Kelly pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

"What are you doin'?" Dawson asked.

"Exactly what you think…I'm callin' the sonofabitch." Kelly said as he hit 'send'.

But all he heard was…the number you have reached is no longer in service.

It was official…Chesnick was in the wind.

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But life had to go on. Kelly couldn't just sit and hold his breath till the cops found Chesnick.

He still hadn't shared all this with Alyssa…she'd never close her eyes if he did. Between worrying about him at work…and the memories of what had happened to their home…to their family…he didn't think she could handle it. He couldn't do that to her.

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The twins' class was going to the Chicago History Museum, over in the Lincoln Park area…and as room mom; Lyssa was going as one of the chaperones.

So that meant Kelly and Maggie had a whole day to themselves.

They went to pre-school story hour at the bookstore…and then Kelly ended up buying a ton of new books. All board books…no regular books for the princess to shred.

He carried Maggie in one arm…and the shopping bag in the other.

Alyssa was gonna kill him…they hadn't even gotten all the bills from Christmas yet…and he'd just dropped another chunk of change.

Oh well…what was it his Grandpa Kelly used to say?

You can't take it with you…that's why you never see a U-Haul following a hearse.

"Was that fun, Baby Girl?" he asked. "Did you like that?"

And Maggie just giggled and snuggled her head against his shoulder.

Kelly laughed as he turned to kiss her little head.

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The bells over the door rang when he walked into the diner.

"Look who's here!" Ingrid Mills exclaimed when she saw Maggie.

She came over and took the baby from Kelly and sat her on the counter where she began to peel off the pink and purple hat, scarf, and mittens.

Mills came from the grill…and he snatched Maggie as soon as his mom had the little girl's coat off.

"Who came to see Uncle Pete?" he asked as he held her up over his head. "Are you hungry? What am I gonna make for lunch?"

"Cheesy!" Maggie cried…clapping her hands. "Maggie want cheesy!"

Mills laughed and hugged her tight.

"Mac 'n cheese…I shoulda known…" he chuckled. "Comin' right up!"

Maggie loved Uncle Pete's Mac 'n cheese…the same way Andy and Jesse loved Uncle Pete's grilled cheese sandwiches.

He handed Maggie back to Kelly…and they took their usual spot at the counter.

Maggie loved to sit at the counter…but she had to sit in Kelly's lap to do it.

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While they waited for Mills to make his special Mac 'n cheese…the way he did just for Maggie…with the bits of crispy turkey bacon crumbled in…and a couple drops of barbeque sauce in the sauce…they played one of Maggie's favorite games.

Kelly had a couple plain white place mats in front on him…and a couple boxes of those little crayons.

He printed M-A-G-G-I-E in the center.

"Okay…" he asked. "Who loves Maggie?"

And he took the red crayon and he printed D-A-D-D-Y in block letters.

"What does that say, Baby Girl?" he asked.

"Daddy!" Maggie said happily as she clapped her hands again.

She could recognize quite a few words on sight already…and she wasn't even two.

Probably came from all that reading…

Kelly wrote M-O-M-M-Y in purple crayon…

"Mommy!" Maggie said as she pointed to the name.

And they went on and on…Andy…Jesse…Grandpa…Uncle Matt…Aunt Leslie…everybody they knew.

Every time Kelly wrote another name, Maggie laughed and clapped her hands…and Kelly couldn't help but smile.

Mills came out of the kitchen with a plate. He had a scoopful of Mac 'n cheese…and some cut up fruit and he set it on the counter just out of Maggie's reach so it could cool a bit before she dug in.

Kelly tucked a paper napkin in the front of Maggie's shirt. He'd forgotten to grab the diaper bag out of the car…Alyssa surely had a bib in there. She had everything else.

While Maggie ate…Kelly serupticiously snatched a grape from her plate and popped it in his mouth. Then he looked down at the papers with all the names in different colors…

There were so many…so many people who loved his kids…but when you looked at it all at once like that, it was a bit overwhelming. And he thought again…how is life had been not even a dozen years ago…he had been on his own. He had friends…but he never had any illusions that they'd all move on someday…he didn't really have a relationship with his dad…he hadn't seen his Aunt Kathy in years…his cousins…

He thought about what Vargas has said…just a few weeks back.

When he had met Alyssa it changed everyone's life. And it was true. Without even knowing it, she'd made Station 51 a tighter family than ever before. She'd brought his biological family back together in his life. And she'd given him this whole new, big, sometimes crazy, family in her brothers…nieces…nephews.

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"Zert?" Maggie asked.

Kelly snapped out of his daydream.

"What do you want, Baby Girl?"

"Zert?" she asked again.

She pointed to her plate.

"A'gone!"

Her plate was clean…except for a little crumble of bacon…which she snatched and stuffed into her mouth.

"A'gone!" she said again.

Kelly laughed. She was just so damn cute…

"Hey, Mills…whaddya got for a member of the 'clean plate club'?"

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Mills went back to the kitchen…and a few minutes later he came out with a tiny Brownie Sundae…complete with a cherry on top, and a little pink paper umbrella.

Maggie squealed and clapped her hands…this was a big girl treat!

She took the spoon Uncle Pete held out to her…and attacked.

"Are you gonna eat that all by yourself?" Kelly asked. "How 'bout sharin' with Daddy?"

Maggie looked up over her shoulder at Kelly…and he bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from laughing at the sight of her…with ice cream all over her chin.

It looked like she had a little white goatee.

She looked like she was seriously contemplating his request…then she dug the spoon into the mush that was once her sundae… Then she tried to get the heaping bite into Kelly's mouth.

And she missed…then she missed again. She kept trying…but all she was really doing was smearing ice cream and whipped cream and chocolate sauce all over his face.

Mills couldn't contain himself…and when Kelly looked over at his nearly hysterical teammate…he realized that Mills had taped the whole thing on his phone.

He reached for a couple of napkins and tried to clean himself off.

"Mills…if that video ends up on YouTube…or in any way, shape, or form shows up at the firehouse…I swear to God, you'll never see another piece of my wife's chocolate cherry nut bread for as long as you live."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

January turned into February…and things felt blessedly _normal_ for lack of a better word.

The cops were still sitting on Chesnick's place…but he hadn't so much as poked his nose around there. His mail was spilling out the slot…newspapers were piling up at the door. The guy was gone.

And so were the fires…

It had been an arduous task…but the firefighters from Station 51…all three shifts…had worked their way through every business in a five mile radius and checked for Chesnick's signature explosive devices. And they found a bunch.

Kelly even dared to breathe a sigh of relief that this might actually be over.

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He was able to get back to working on Chicago Fire on his days off. With his knee acting up he hadn't wanted to push it…but now everything was okay. He was finally able to lose the brace…and it was back in the dresser drawer where he hoped it would stay for a good long time. And he'd managed to keep the whole incident out of his medical record.

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He and Alyssa were able to get out of town for a couple of days for Valentine's Day weekend. They went up to Michigan…to this little bed and breakfast he'd found online…and they'd gotten the "Honeymoon" package. They got the biggest room in the place, with a fireplace, champagne and chocolates, a deep sunken tub, and a king size bed.

That very first night, he'd pulled the big down comforter off the bed and made a nest in front of the fire. He slowly peeled off his wife's clothing…taking time to savor every beautiful inch of her…before he laid her down and made love to her…over and over again…like it was the last night of the world.

The next day they walked outside, down a winding road on the property…looking out at acres of fresh, clean, white snow. It was so beautiful…so pure…nothing like you see in the city. He laughed when Alyssa scooped up a handful and threw a hastily made snowball his way. Soon they were both laughing as it escalated into an all out war…until they fell into a snow bank together, rolling over and over and getting covered in it.

And then they hurried back to the inn…and made good use of that tub.

On the last night he took her to a little bistro in town, where they sat at a table in a quiet corner…shared a bottle of wine and dined on Chateaubriand…and the most amazing dark chocolate cheesecake either of them had ever tasted.

And they came back to some special touches he'd arranged. While they were out he'd had the innkeeper come into the room, light the fire, turn down the bed, and scatter red rose petals across the satin sheets he'd requested. There was a mixed CD that he'd made before they left Chicago with all Lyssa's favorite ballads…and it was already playing softly in the CD player. As the clothes hit the floor piece by piece they heard Bryan Adams raspy voice singing

_Baby you're all I want when you're lying here in my arms_ _I'm finding it hard to believe…we're in Heaven_ _And love is all I need…and I found it there in your heart_ _It isn't too hard to see…we're in Heaven_

Kelly easily lifted Alyssa into his arms and carried her to the bed…and as he laid her down and climbed in beside her the song switched…

_It's forever…this time I know it …there's no doubt in my mind_

_Forever…until my life is through…girl, I'll be loving you forever_

Their wedding song…

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"Engine 51…Truck 81…Ambulance 61…Squad 3…"

They rolled up on the scene.

A tire and battery shop had turned into a raging inferno. The flames were shooting a dozen feet into the air and thick, heavy, black smoke poured out every broken window. The smell of burning rubber permeated everything within a hundred yards.

"Severide…" Chief barked. "I need you to do the fastest search in history. I doubt there's anybody in there…but we gotta be sure."

"Copy that…" Kelly said.

Then he turned to his men.

"You heard him…gear up! In and out!"

And he pulled his hood and mask into place.

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Inside, the conditions were getting more and more tenuous by the second. The smoke was so thick…and the showroom was ablaze…all the tires melting, piles of burning rubber…the wall mounted ones made for a dozen rings of fire.

Mills had the Thermal Imaging camera in hand. There was no one in this front room…and nothing was showing up in the office either. Exactly what they had expected.

So they moved on to the shop. The storefront was deceptive. This place was huge…about the size of two or three high school gymnasiums…a dozen auto bays…hydraulic tools…oil, lubricants, gasoline…

All highly flammable…the temperature was fast reaching the point where they were in danger of a flashover. Any moment the whole place could go up and blow them all to Hell.

"Hey! Over here!" Mills called out.

He was following the signal…the camera had detected signs of life.

In one of the bays they found a man down.

They rolled him and Kelly caught a glimpse of a security uniform…and a gaping head wound. He stepped back to let Mills and Clark lift the victim…and he nearly fell backwards when he stepped on tire iron that lay on the floor.

He'd bet his bottom dollar that's what made that head wound.

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He spun around...he thought he saw something…or someone. There _was_ someone else in there. And he began to move in that direction.

Severide found himself facing a tower of fire…and a pile of tires almost five feet high came tumbling down on him! He barely dived out of the way…barely managed to avoid being hit. And when he rolled away and sprung back to his feet he saw a giant human torch coming toward him!

A look of sheer horror crossed his face when he realized it was Darren Chesnick!

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Chesnick lunged for him but Kelly managed to stay on his feet. His mind was racing…how the hell was he gonna get this guy out of here? And he was determined to do just that. Get Chesnick out of there and hand him over to the cops.

But Chesnick had his own agenda. He was prepared to die in this Hell of his own making…and he had no problems taking Severide with him.

The flaming giant lunged again and this time he knocked Kelly off his feet. His helmet went flying…Kelly felt the breath leave his body as Chesnick fell on top of him and they grappled while Kelly fought desperately to gain the upper hand. Every breath hurt like hell and he was certain he'd cracked a couple ribs.

He managed to get out from under the hulk of a man and staggered to his feet. Chesnick must be insane…or one of those weird people who don't feel pain…his clothes were burning off and he still kept coming. He grabbed Kelly by the upper arms…and effectively managed to pin them to Severide's sides. He pushed and Kelly trued to resist…to stand his ground. But he was no match for Chesnick. The man was probably twice his size…and solid as a rock. Kelly staggered back until his tank hit a Craftsman tool box. He used what little leverage it provided to push forward and managed to free his left arm from the monster's grip.

But when he tried to wrest his right arm free Chesnick gripped it harder…it felt like he was crushing bones with his bare hands! Kelly tried again to break free, and he managed to twist away…but Chesnick used that motion against him and Kelly felt his right shoulder being torn from the socket.

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He roared in pain…someone _had_ to have heard him…had to have heard the struggle. How much time had passed? Where the hell was the cavalry?

With his right arm hanging useless at his side, he didn't have a chance. And Chesnick was still fighting with every bit of strength he had. How was the guy still standing? Kelly looked into his face…and it was like he'd just looked into the face of Death.

His thoughts were no longer on the fire…he could only think of Alyssa and the kids…

That gave him one last burst of strength. He pulled with all his might and broke free of the steel grip of the man who was determined to make sure neither one of them ever saw the light of day again.

But Chesnick had a final burst of strength too. He lunged at Kelly again…and Kelly couldn't even react. Chesnick was fading fast…but he managed to get his hands up to Kelly's face…the flesh was almost burned completely off of them…and he clawed until he pulled off Kelly's mask.

Then with the last drop of energy he had…he knocked Kelly to the floor.

The last image Severide saw was the towering inferno collapsing down onto him.

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The men followed the sound of Kelly's PASS alarm…and they found him unconscious…pinned by a giant mass of humanity…

The showroom was impassable now so they'd had to find an alternate way in. Being in that building was sheer madness…but they weren't about to leave a man behind.

Cruz, Hermann, Otis and Clark pulled the huge man off of Severide…it took all four of them to lift and carry him to the exit they'd made. Mills and Casey grabbed Kelly…and got the hell out of there!

Shay and Dawson rushed to meet them with the gurney, and the men laid him on it. They raced him to the back of the ambo and Mills climbed in behind them without even waiting for orders. Otis ran around to the driver's side and Casey slammed the doors shut.

Dawson ripped open Severide's turnout coat…cut his red suspenders and then his shirt.

While she was doing that…Shay dropped an ET tube to protect his airway. Mills passed her the ambu bag and she attached it to the valve and inflated the cuff. Mills grabbed a stethoscope and checked for breath sounds.

"This doesn't sound right!" he said.

Dawson pulled her stethoscope into position.

"Tension pneumo!" she said. "Get me a large bore needle!"

Mills handed her what she'd asked for…and she plunged it into Kelly's chest. When she did that a rush of air escaped.

"Step on it, Otis!" She yelled. "Or we're gonna lose him!"

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Alyssa grabbed the phone on the second ring.

"Hello?" she said nervously.

Phone calls in the middle of the night were always bad…especially when you were married to a firefighter.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

She ended the call and hit a number on her speed dial.

"Nicky…" she said when her brother answered. "I just got a call…I need you to come stay with the kids!"

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Five minutes later her brother was at the door and Alyssa was in full blown panic mode.

Kelly hadn't called her…and that meant he couldn't. They had an unspoken agreement…he always called…so she wouldn't worry unnecessarily. But instead Leslie had called. And she confirmed Alyssa's fears.

"Nicky…it's bad!" she cried as she yanked open the door. "He's unconscious…he has a collapsed lung…they're rushing him into surgery!"

Nick Boungiovanni caught his baby sister in his arms. There was no way he could let her get behind a wheel in this state. He grabbed for his phone and dialed his brother Joey.

Joey rushed over in his pajamas…having run through the alleyway rather than driving the two blocks. He'd stay with the kids…and Nicky could take Alyssa to the hospital.

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When they arrived at Lakeshore they were shown to a private waiting area off the ER. A clerk offered to bring them coffee or water…or anything else they wanted. And she sent the hospital chaplain in to be with them.

They'd come and get them as soon as they had word.

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The team arrived…no one even bothered to go back to the firehouse to change. By this time Shay and Dawson, Otis and Mills had joined Lyssa and Nicky…and at least now Alyssa had a better idea what was wrong with her husband.

Casey crossed the room in a few strides and he hugged Alyssa tight.

And Chief Boden cleared his throat.

"Alyssa…it was Darren Chesnick. He's the one behind all these fires in the past six months. It looks like he got caught in his own trap…and he tried to take Kelly with him."

What Chief was saying took a moment to register with her. A man Kelly had befriended…tried to reach out to. Someone who had been in their house…eaten at their table. And he tried to kill Kelly…

The room spun out of control…she was hot and cold all at the same time…and her legs went weak.

Casey caught her before she went down and helped her over to a sofa. Shay and Dawson pushed through the crew…and checked her pulse and respirations. Someone passed a cup of water forward and Leslie held it to Lyssa's lips so she could drink.

"What happened to him?" she asked in a small, hollow voice.

Boden sighed wearily and knelt down in front of her.

"He was taken to Loyola…to the Burn Center. Third degree burns over eighty-five to ninety percent of his body."

Alyssa just stared straight ahead.

That meant Chesnick wasn't expected to survive.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Alyssa stepped cautiously into the darkened room. Except for the harsh florescent light shining over the bed everything was dark. Ominous looking pieces of medical equipment cast intimidating shadows on the stark white walls. The ventilator beside the bed huffed and puffed in a rhythmic pattern and the steady beeps and blips of the cardiac monitor confirmed that indeed, Kelly's heart was still beating.

She approached the bed with extreme caution and trepidation…taking everything in. she'd spent way too much time in hospitals, that was for certain. But this…this was like waking up and finding herself trapped in the middle of her worst nightmare.

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She looked down at her beautiful husband. He was bloated from the surgery. His face was swollen and she could see where the blisters had formed over his cheeks and his forehead. She couldn't see his eyes…because they were patched and bandaged. It was too early to know whether or not there was any damage, but the scans they'd taken showed inflammation and swelling around the optic nerves.

She moved down to take in the ET tube…the IV line imbedded deeply in his neck…the livid purple bruises across his right shoulder and the bulky dressing and splint that held his right arm in position. His bare chest was covered in electrodes…tying him to all those scary machines…recording every breath…every beat of his heart.

A rigid plastic tube stuck straight out of his right side and attached to what looked like a small canister vac. The doctors had told her that Kelly had seven broken ribs…four on the right, three on the left. One had punctured his lung. The chest tube would drain the air and blood from his chest cavity, but it was also excruciatingly painful. So for his own comfort they were keeping him paralyzed and sedated.

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Alyssa jumped when the blood pressure cuff kicked in and began its automatic cycle…inflating and recording every fifteen minutes. She put her hand over her racing heart and took a couple deep breaths to pull it all together. Once her own heart was beating normally again she reached out to Kelly. She gently combed her fingers through his hair…the only place she could touch that wasn't covered in bandages or wires. And her eyes filled with tears.

"Kelly? Baby?" she whispered. "I'm here…I'm right here, Baby. It's okay…you're gonna be okay…"

The words just rolled right off her tongue…she'd said them to him a thousand times before. Only every other time he was awake to hear them.

She dragged a chair closer to the bed, wincing at the sound of its legs scraping along the tile floor. She slowly sank down into it, never taking her eyes from her husband's face. She was suddenly overcome by the need to touch him…to have some contact…to feel him and reassure herself he was still there with her. She slipped her hand into his and took comfort in the weight of it.

"Kelly…I love you so much, Baby. Please…please don't leave me. I...I couldn't handle it…I couldn't make it. I need you. I need you so much." She whispered... her voice choked with tears.

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"Alyssa?"

She spun around at the sound of her father-in-law's voice.

Benny must have just gotten there. He had been up north at his buddy's hunting cabin…and he must have driven like a bat out of hell to get back to the city.

As much as he loved the city of Chicago…Benny had a great need to wide open spaces and solitude. That was the reason for the frequent hunting and fishing trips…even in the dead of winter. But unfortunately, this was the second time he'd been somewhere up in the Great White North when a crisis hit.

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Alyssa jumped up from her seat and quickly crossed the room. She launched herself into Benny's' arms. He caught his daughter-in-law and held her tight as she wilted against him. Her entire body shook with sobs…and Benny was at a loss as to what to do.

Alyssa was always the rock for Kelly and the kids to lean on…and Kelly had told him once, in what he probably perceived to be a weak moment…how Alyssa had pulled him through some dark and scary times. He said he couldn't handle an injury without her…his neck…his knee…when he was in pain…but more when he was scared, she calmed him. Especially when the dark thoughts crept up on him.

Benny had lived with Kelly and Alyssa and the kids for almost six months after Kelly had fractured his kneecap. It was hard to believe it was only three years ago…so much had happened since. He watched as Alyssa had cared for his son…and any fool could see the love they had for one another. It made him happy and sad all at the same time. Happy because his son…who he'd always loved more than anything, even when he was clueless as to how to show it…had found someone to love. And found someone who loved him unconditionally through the good, the bad and the ugly. Sad, because he had had that once…and he pissed it all away. Unfortunately by the time he realized that it was too late.

There were so many times he wondered if he could have gone back…if Maggie would have taken him back…but his stupid pride wouldn't let him. He'd tried to find that happiness again. With four more wives…step kids…he tried to recreate what he'd so carelessly thrown away. But there was always something missing…and eventually he figured out that it was the piece of his heart that he'd left with Kelly…and Maggie.

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"Benny…what am I gonna tell the kids? How do I explain this to them?"

Benny just hugged her tighter. He had no clue how to answer. Alyssa'd always been honest with the boys whenever Kelly was hurt…but explaining a knee injury or a sprained shoulder was different. Even if, God forbid, Kelly couldn't be a firefighter anymore, he could still be a father.

"I don't know, Lyssa…" he answered, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't know. But I'm here for you. Whatever you and the kids need…whenever."

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In the end Alyssa didn't have to worry…because Casey and Shay went directly from the hospital to Kelly's house.

Joey was alone in the kitchen…looking absolutely lost.

"Am I glad to see you guys." He said. "Andy and Jesse woke up at five…five-thirty…and they've been askin' questions ever since. 'Where's Mommy?' 'Did something happen to Daddy?'…I don't know how much to tell 'em."

"Where are they?" Casey asked.

Joey cocked his head in the direction of the living room.

"Front room. They won't get dressed…they won't eat breakfast…not till they get some answers. I tried…but they're not havin' it. And the last thing I wanna do is fight with 'em. But they're stubborn as hell."

"Well, they are Kelly's kids…" Casey said as he laid one hand on Joey's shoulder. "We'll handle it."

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Casey strode through the dining room with Shay right behind him.

"You want me to get Maggie?" she whispered as they past the stairs.

They could hear the almost two year old up in her room.

Matt nodded…and Leslie veered right to go see to Kelly's little princess.

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Andy caught sight of his godfather and sprung off the couch. He came running with Jesse right behind him.

"Uncle Matt! What's goin' on?" he cried. "Mommy wasn't here…"

"Did something happen to Daddy?" Jesse asked, his voice trembling with fear.

Just the use of the names 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' told Casey how anxious they must be. They were nine and in the third grade…they tried so hard to act grown-up. He hadn't heard either of them say 'Daddy' in over a year.

"Let's go sit down guys."

He led the twins over to the couch and sat them side by side, and then he knelt down on front of them. He was struck by how much they looked like Kelly…and he was struck by the fear he saw in their blue eyes…and the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.

"I don't know that there's any easy way to say this, guys. Your dad got hurt last night…and it's pretty bad. Your mom's at the hospital right now…so's Grandpa Benny."

"Is Daddy gonna be okay?" Jesse asked, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I hope so, Jess…" Casey said. "I hope so."

"Is he comin' home?" Andy asked.

Whenever Kelly had been injured before, he always came home later that day. Sometimes he had crutches and a brace on his leg…sometimes he had stitches…but he always came home.

Matt shook his head.

"Not for a while, Buddy."

"What happened?" Jesse said in a quiet voice.

Casey wiped his hand down his face. This was harder than he thought. How could he tell his godsons that another firefighter had tried to murder their father?

He took a deep breath.

"We got called out to this fire…" he began hesitantly. "And it was a really big deal. It was already burning outta control. We didn't think there was anybody inside…but we had to check."

He studied the boys faces…trying to decide what to say next…what could they handle?

"Your dad and Uncle Pete found one victim…and Uncle Pete took him out…but your dad saw somebody else was trapped and he went after 'em. He tried to get the guy out…but the victim was combative…"

"What's 'combative'?" Andy asked.

"It means he was fighting with your dad." Casey explained.

"Why would someone do a thing like that?" Jesse asked.

Casey realized that he'd just made a major blunder. He'd said too much.

Kelly and Alyssa had always been totally up front with the twins about what a dangerous job firefighting was…and there was always a possibility that a firefighter could get hurt. And Casey thought they'd want him to tell Andy and Jesse the truth. But this …this was too much for nine year old boys to process.

Unfortunately he'd gone too far to back up now.

He sighed.

"I don't know, Buddy. There's no way to predict how a victim's gonna act in a fire."

Andy had a dark look on his face. This didn't make any sense to him. The firefighters came to get you out…why would anybody want to fight with them? Something was definitely not right here.

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"Can we see Daddy?" Jesse asked.

Casey shook his head no.

"Not right now. He's in a special part of the hospital where they have the sickest patients. Only your mom and your grandpa are allowed to see him."

The boys were quiet…and Matt was suddenly exhausted. It was a lot to process for a grown man…forget about how little boys must be taking it.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Jesse said.

"I think you should try and go to school…I'm gonna take you…and I'll talk to Sister Therese and Father Joe. I'll tell 'em what's going on…and if you have any problems, they can call me and I'll come right over."

The twins looked at one another.

How did Uncle Matt expect them to go to school and try and learn stuff? When Daddy was hurt and in the hospital?

Uncle Matt must have read their minds.

"Look, guys, I know this is hard…but it's gonna be a long time before your dad can come home…"

If he came home…

Casey quickly banished the thought.

"But we gotta do the best we can to just keep goin' on with our normal lives. Okay?"

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Andy and Jesse reluctantly got up off the couch and trudged up the stairs just as Aunt Leslie was coming down with Maggie.

"Did you tell them?" she asked.

Casey nodded.

"I'm gonna take 'em to school and talk to the principal…explain what's going on. So they can be on the lookout for any signs of trouble."

"You want me to go with?"

"Somebody's gotta stay with Maggie. And we gotta get everybody together ASAP and come up with a plan."

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Joey came out of the kitchen.

"Guys…I gotta go to work soon. Emma Lynn called in so she's home with Ainsley. Do you need her to take Maggie too?"

"No…" Casey said, looking at Shay for confirmation.

She nodded.

"But can you call your brothers?" Matt asked. "Have 'em meet us here tonight? We were just sayin' we need to come up with some kind of schedule."

Joey nodded.

"Done and done…we'll see you tonight. And the Boungiovanni's will provide the pizza."

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Alyssa came home to a house full of people. When she walked in with her father-in-law it was standing room only in the dining room.

She looked around. All her brothers were there…her sisters-in-law…the whole team from Station 51, including Vargas and Mouch. Morgan was there with his mom, Jeanne, and his grandmother, Marianne. Ingrid Mills was there as well.

Everyone had their PDA's out in front of them, and it appeared they were making some kind of a schedule.

"What's goin' on here?" she asked.

Her voice cracked…she sounded exhausted…even to herself.

Everybody turned and Casey stood up from the head of the table.

"Lyssa…how's he doin'?"

"No change…they've got him paralyzed and on a vent. They're gonna keep him like that as long as he needs the chest tube…"

"Good." Hermann said…unconsciously touching his left side. "That thing's a bitch."

Hermann had been injured like that once…years and years ago…back before Alyssa even met Kelly.

"Christopher!" his wife Cindy whispered harshly.

"What? We're all grown-ups here." Hermann replied.

"Where're the kids?" Alyssa asked suddenly.

Casey put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly.

"They're right upstairs." He said gently.

"Samantha and Declan have 'em all up there." Nicky added.

Alyssa started toward the stairs.

"I've gotta talk to the boys…" she mumbled.

She was completely numb…barely anything was registering with her. But she had to tell Andy and Jesse what had happened to their dad.

"I took care of it." Casey told her. "And I told Sister Therese and Father Joe over at the school."

"And I told Maggie Daddy got a big owie." Leslie said. "I told her he had to stay at the hospital till it got better."

We're working out a schedule right now to cover things at home while you're at the hospital." Casey continued.

"Yeah…I'm staying tonight." Leslie said. "Just in case you need anything."

Alyssa started to protest that it wasn't necessary…but Leslie held up her hand.

"Non-negotiable." She said firmly.

"And Pete and I'll be here first thing in the morning to relieve her." Gabby added.

"And I've got the day after that." Vargas said. "I got the boys' basketball covered too."

"Don't worry about Andy and Jesse's St. Patrick's Day party next week." Jeanne Craddock told her. "Ma and I'll take care of all the baking and everything."

Alyssa didn't know what to say. She'd been stressing all day long trying to figure out how she was going to divide her time. But here was everyone she loved…practically tripping over themselves to step up to the plate.

Then again…like Kelly always told Andy and Jesse…firefighters take care of their own.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Maggie sat down on the kitchen floor and burst into tears.

Casey spun around from whatever he was doing at the counter and crossed the room in just a few steps.

"What's the matter, Maggie?" he asked as he scooped the sobbing toddler into his arms.

"Daddy!" she cried. "Want Daddy!"

Casey held the baby close and tried to soothe her.

"Shhh…I know you want your daddy." He whispered. "But daddy can't come home right now."

That only made Maggie cry harder.

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The past week had been a never ending nightmare for everyone…ever since the call out to the tire shop.

Kelly's condition hadn't really changed any. The doctors were still keeping him sedated because of his chest injuries. But there was a Catch 22…the longer he stayed on the vent…the greater risk he had of developing pneumonia or atelectasis, a collapsed lung, on top of what he already had. His temperature had gone up a couple tenths of a degree and everyone was on pins and needles. Alyssa had spent the night at the hospital.

The family…both the biological and the firehouse had been pitching in to cover the childcare and keep things running at the Severide house. But everyone was on edge. Andy and Jesse had been very quiet…not at all like themselves. Jesse had become nervous and sometimes tearful. Casey had had to run over to St. Pasqual's twice already when Jesse got so upset he had to be sent out of class.

Andy was frightening them even more. The usual take-charge, lead-from-the-front kid had become angry and sullen. He wasn't buying the story about the victim freaking out in the middle of a rescue. He was pretty sure there was something else. He thought that victim might have tried to hurt his dad on purpose. But that didn't make sense either. Dad was the greatest…he was one of the best firefighters in the city…and he was the most awesome dad in the world. Everybody said so.

So why the heck would someone want to hurt him?

He didn't share his thoughts about this with anyone though. He tried to tell Jesse…but Jesse just started crying and ran away.

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Casey was still trying to get Maggie to stop crying…and doing a pretty crappy job of it.

Maybe the next shift would have better luck.

That might be part of the problem. You had to consult a calendar to find out who was coming to take over. The Severide house might as well have a revolving door. Casey, Leslie, Gabby and Mills, and Vargas were rotating sleeping over and taking care of Maggie.

If it was confusing for a grown-up…how must it be for a two year old?

The back door opened.

"Relief is here!" Morgan called out. "Sorry I'm…"

He stopped short at the scene in the kitchen.

"Late…what's the matter, Maggie?" he asked as her reached out to take the sobbing baby from Matt.

"She wants her daddy." Casey said over the screaming.

Morgan gave Casey a look…a look of understanding.

He rocked Maggie in his arms…

"Get her some milk…" he mouthed to Casey.

Then he whispered quietly to Maggie.

"Shhh…it's okay Sweetie…"

He was careful not to call her Baby Girl or Princess…Kelly's special names for her.

"I know…I know…" he said as he paced back and forth while Casey got the sippy cup and filled it up. "It's okay…it's okay…"

Casey handed over the pink princess sippy cup and Maggie grabbed it and stuck it in her mouth.

And it was quiet.

Morgan carried the little girl into the front room and sank down onto the sectional sofa.

Casey followed him.

"What are we gonna do?" he asked. "I barely know who's coming and going…she's gotta be confused as hell…"

"I'm sure." Morgan answered. "Let me think about it…I'll try and come up with something."

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He finally got a chance to think about the problem after he put Maggie down in her crib. All the crying had tired the little girl out to the point of exhaustion.

On the calendar in the kitchen everybody had written in which days they were taking…but Maggie couldn't read. Not to mention it was way above her eye level.

The idea came to him when he was wandering through the house. He'd been to Severide's a thousand times before…but now he just paused to take it all in.

There were photographs everywhere. In frames on the book shelves…on the entertainment console…on the buffet in the dining room…pictures of the kids, pictures of Alyssa and Kelly with the kids, pictures of the firefighters with the kids.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

"Casey…" he said when the call went through. "No…everything's fine. Maggie's out like a light. Listen I know what we can do for her and I need a favor…"

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Soon he was getting text after text with photo after photo and he pulled out his laptop and started downloading them.

When Maggie woke up he put her coat and hat on…grabbed the car seat that they just left in the four season's room and put her in Kelly's car.

The Lieutenant wouldn't mind if Hollywood borrowed his ride. After all…it was for a good cause.

It took two stops…at CVS at the photo counter…and a teacher's supply store he'd found on line.

That place had cost him a fortune…besides what he needed for his special project…he bought books, flash cards, games, manipulatives…all kinds of things they could use to distract Maggie in a moment of trouble.

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He stopped at the diner for a snack…and Ingrid Mills fussed over the little girl while Pete made her a treat.

He came out of the kitchen with a piece of sponge cake cut into layers…with slices of strawberry and banana in between.

"Maggie…look what Uncle Pete's got for you. Strawberry 'Nanna cake!"

Ingrid brought the little girl to the counter.

"She likes to sit here…" Ingrid told Morgan. "You have to hold her on your lap."

"Sounds like torture…" Morgan said with a grin.

He took Maggie into his lap and she grabbed a spoon and attacked her cake.

While she made a mess…and managed to get some of it into her mouth…Pete and his mom watched the whole scene with sad eyes.

"You know Friday's her birthday, right?" Mills asked.

In all the chaos Morgan had forgotten.

"That's right." He said. "We gotta do somethin'…we gotta make a party."

"We can do it here." Mills said. "Right, Ma?"

"Absolutely. How's Sunday?"

Second watch was working Saturday to Sunday.

"Perfect." Mills said. "I'll spread the word to the rest of the team."

"Great. I'll get a hold of Lyssa's brothers." Morgan said. "It's gotta be huge…"

"We can do huge." Mills said with a decisive nod of his head.

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When Morgan and Maggie got home he set her down on the kitchen floor and set up his plan.

He got the calendar down from the wall to consult…then he took everything out of the plastic bags.

On the refrigerator, down at Maggie's eye level he hung a laminated calendar. It had the days of the week filled in across the top, but you had to set it up with the numbers…just like the teachers did in grade school. But he wasn't concerned about the numbers or the months or anything like that.

He stuck a little Velcro button in the center of each square and then he took out the pictures he had printed and had laminated. He found his picture…and he stuck another Velcro piece on the back. Then he placed his picture on the Saturday square.

"Look Maggie." He said. "This is your very own calendar…so you always know who's gonna take care of you."

He pointed to the picture.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Mo-gan…" she said.

"That's right. I'm taking care of you today."

Then he consulted the grown-up calendar. Shay was up next. He found the picture of Leslie and he put a sticky on the back…then he put the picture in the next square.

"Who's that?"

"Aunt Wes-wee."

"That's right. Aunt Leslie will be here tomorrow."

They went through the whole thing again…with Vargas's picture, Dawson, Mills, Casey…then when Morgan left, he'd put his picture on the next spot when he'd be back…

Hopefully it would work. But at least for today…Maggie had something special, all her very own…and she seemed happy about it. At least as happy as she was gonna get right now.

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Later that day he had another idea.

He went into the backpack they used as a diaper bag to get something…and he found a bunch of white paper placemats folded up. He saw they had Maggie's name written in the middle…and everybody else's names written all around it.

When Alyssa came home to shower and change and spend a little time with the kids he asked her about it.

Tears came to her eyes as she looked over the papers.

"That's a game…Kelly plays with her." She said, wiping the tear that had escaped and left a trail down her cheek. "He asks 'who loves Maggie' and they name everyone we know. She can actually recognize a lot of the names on sight already."

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That set Hollywood's wheels spinning…and when he went home that night he emailed everyone in his address book for the firehouse…some of the guys on the show…and the one or two of Alyssa's brothers he had contact info for.

He wrote the email…and he described Kelly's game he played with Maggie, and what he wanted to do. He asked everybody to send him back ASAP a little piece…it could be just a few lines…telling some things they loved about the little girl. He also asked that everybody send a few pictures…preferably ones of them with Maggie. Lastly he asked that they forward the email to anyone he didn't have an address for.

And the response was huge…and instantaneous.

And Morgan was up all night printing and arranging…and in the morning he was back at CVS at the photo counter putting everything together in a little bound book.

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On Saturday Kelly's fever shot up to a hundred and two…and the doctors were giving him broad spectrum antibiotics to kill everything in their path while they tried to isolate the specific pathogen. They changed every tube and needle and cultured them all.

Alyssa hadn't left the hospital since Friday when all this started happening. There were test messages flying all over Chicago as everyone was trying to get the most updated information.

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On Sunday morning, Shay relieved Vargas…and she took the kids to Mass. Even though she wasn't Catholic…the boys kinda needed to go for school…and Father Joe made a special request that everyone keep Kelly and Alyssa and the children in their prayers.

And that afternoon, she dressed Maggie in the pink jumper and hot pink turtleneck with the white tights and the little pink Mary-Jane's that Alyssa had bought on sale at Macy's last month before all this had happened.

She carefully brushed the silky soft, fine baby curls into little pigtails and found the little heart necklace that Kelly had bought for his baby girl…so she had one just like her mommy. She did the clasp and carried the baby down the stairs.

Andy and Jesse were already dressed…and Andy grumbled something about how it wasn't right to have a party without Dad.

Shay put Maggie down and took Andy off to the side. She sat down on the steps and brought him to stand in front of her.

"Andy…look at me." She said. "I know how you feel…but we need to try to keep things normal…especially for your sister. She's doesn't understand anything that's going on…and you know that your mom and dad had already planned a big party."

"But Dad would want to be there!" Andy protested.

"I know he would…but I've known your dad for…a really long time. And I also know he'd want Maggie to have her birthday and for everyone to celebrate even if he couldn't be there." She said as she placed her hands lightly on the little boy's shoulders. "Just the same way he'd want you and Jesse to go to school…and to basketball…and scouts. He wouldn't want any of us to put everything on hold just because of him."

She took one hand and placed one finger under Andy's chin, gently forcing it up, making her godson look at her.

"Can you work with me on this, Buddy?"

Andy nodded.

He knew Aunt Leslie was right…Dad would want Maggie to have her birthday.

Besides…he knew his family. They'd have another party as soon as Dad was better.

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The diner was packed.

When Leslie brought the kids in the boys looked around at all the pink balloons and streamers…the pink confetti scattered on all the tables, the pink table cloths on the tables that had been pushed together for the presents.

They saw people drinking from pink paper cups and pink princess cutouts dangled from the ceiling on fishing line.

"Great…" Andy said. "More Pepto Bismol…"

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There must have been close to a hundred people there.

"Jeez…I hope nobody calls the Fire Marshall…" Hermann observed.

"Did somebody think to invite him?" Casey quipped. "I think he's the only one not here…"

All the family…the firehouse family…the Michelotti's from across the street…the Donovan's from down the block…even the Riordan's drove in from Homewood. Everyone was there.

Hollywood was there…along with his mom and his grandma…and a bunch of the actors from the show. He also had the camera crew…and they were walking around taping the whole party.

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They filmed the cake with the pink and purple icing…and the Disney Princess figures on the top…and Maggie blowing out two candles. They filmed the kids playing pin the tail on the donkey…but this one was pin the tail on the unicorn. They shot the Bozo buckets…and the clothespin drop.

And they filmed the crowd…the grown-ups were trying to keep it fun and upbeat for the kids…all of whom seemed to be having a really good time, even Andy and Jesse. But everybody knew who was missing.

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Opening all the presents was a real production.

Aunt Leslie and Aunt Gabby sat on cross legged on the floor. Leslie held Maggie in her lap and she and Dawson helped the little girl open the mountain of presents.

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There were books, including a very special one from Morgan.

He had used all the pictures and emails he had gotten to create his own story "Who Loves Maggie?". He had arranged everything so each person has their own page…or in some cases pages…with their pictures and all the reasons they loved Maggie.

"Who loves Maggie? Uncle Matt loves to hear her giggle…it always makes him smile…Aunt Leslie loves to watch Maggie dance…Miss Ingrid loves Maggie's pretty red curls…Uncle Pete loves how Maggie always makes 'all gone' with her Mac 'n cheese…"

And so on and so forth…till they got to the last few pages…where it said:

"And who loves Maggie most of all?"

And there was a collage of pictures of Maggie with her big brothers, and Mommy and Daddy.

The very last page was a picture of the five of them taken at Christmas in front of the firefighter tree.

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There were puzzles…and new clothes…and dollies and a little kitchen set complete with play food, pots and pans, and pink dishes.

There was a pink play house that Uncle Matt could set up out in the back yard when the weather got warmer…and a little pink tricycle.

"_Why_ does _everything_ have to be pink?" Andy groaned. "There's like…a _million_ other colors...I'm _tired_ of pink!"

Everybody got a good laugh and Uncle Matt grabbed Andy and swung him around as much as he dared in the capacity crowd.

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They worked their way through the massive pile…and true to tradition…Casey rounded up a bunch of the guys and went to get his present.

And everybody gasped as he and Vargas set down the two story dollhouse…but this one was a pink princess castle. It came complete with furniture…and bendable dolls…and Casey had gone back to the doll maker he had used when he built the firehouse for the twins…and had the little princess done up to resemble Maggie.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The antibiotics finally started to kick in…and by Wednesday the doctors felt like they had finally turned a corner.

It had been a long, hard struggle…almost a week…and during that time Alyssa had barely left Kelly's side.

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She did manage to get home for a few hours on Monday afternoon…long enough to grab a longer, hot shower and get some clean clothes.

Then she sat down with the boys…

She told them that Dad was really sick right now…but the doctors were giving him lots of medicines to try and get him better. She told them that once Dad got moved out of the ICU…the part of the hospital where they had the sickest patients…then they could see him.

"Can't we talk to him?" Andy asked. "Or Skype?"

Sometimes they Skyped with Kelly when he was just overnight at the firehouse…why couldn't they get a laptop at the hospital?

"Because Dad's sleeping…" Alyssa told him carefully. "The doctors want him to sleep…because that's the only way he's going to get better. Once he's past the worst of it…they'll wake him up…and then you can talk to him. He'll be so happy to hear your voices."

Andy turned this over and over in his head.

There was something weird. When Uncle Matt had been in the hospital for a long time…he didn't sleep all the time…and Dad had taken him and Jesse to visit a bunch of times. There was something the grown-ups were hiding from him…and he wanted to know what.

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Jesse was more worried about _how _Dad got hurt.

He asked Uncle Matt…and Uncle Pete…and Uncle Jose over and over…what it was like to be in a real fire. Not like when their house got on fire and Mom carried him and Andy out in blankets with their eyes closed…but to be there to do your job.

He wanted to know if they got scared…that was what he was worried about the most…whether or not Dad was scared.

Uncle Matt sat him down.

"We're all a little scared, Jess. You never know exactly what you're gonna find when you go into a fire…you never know if the stairs you just went up are gonna be there when you gotta come down…if something's gonna fall and you have to get out of the way…a lot of things can happen."

"So what do you do?" Jesse asked.

All that sounded pretty scary to him.

"We work together…that's why you have five and six and seven men on a truck and four men on a squad. You watch each other's backs…two in…two out. That's the rule. And we have radios…so we're in constant communication with Chief outside. We tell him what's goin' on inside the structure…and he gets us the tools we need…like a ladder outside a window."

Casey took a deep breath.

"You know being a firefighter's dangerous, Jess. Your dad…me…all your uncles have told you that right along. But we do our best to keep each other safe…just like you stick up for Andy and he does for you."

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While all this was going on…while Kelly was just hanging on…Darren Chesnick succumbed to his injuries.

Chief came over to the hospital to tell Alyssa.

He gently led her out into the hall…and Benny wasn't sure what was going on…so he followed them.

"I just got word…" Chief began. "I just got word that Chesnick passed."

Alyssa looked up at him…blinking her eyes uncomprehendingly.

"We knew it was inevitable." Boden said. "It's amazing how he hung on as long as he did."

"Heaven and Hell were probably dukin' it out as to who had to take him." Benny said with a hard edge in his voice.

A tortured sound filled the air, and the two men snapped back to Alyssa. She was starting to crumble to the floor and Boden grabbed her by the arms.

Not knowing what to do and not wanting to cause a scene in the hall…they quickly ducked back inside Kelly's room. Benny cast an anxious glance at his unconscious son.

"It's not fair!" Alyssa keened. "I wanted him to_ suffer!_"

The words hung in the air. That wasn't like Lyssa at all…she wasn't vengeful or vindictive.

"Lyssa…" Benny said in a futile effort to calm her down. "I'm sure he did…I'm sure the last week was no picnic for him…"

Even if that's not what he was really and truly feeling…it seemed appropriate for the moment.

"Bullshit!" Alyssa snapped.

That was another uncharacteristic trait. She rarely cursed…

"You know as well as I do that third degree burns kill the nerve endings…and there's very _little_ pain!"

Her brown eyes flashed…and neither Benny nor the Chief had ever seen her get this worked up.

"He got off too easy! He destroyed people's homes…their businesses…he _killed_ _seven people_…God knows how many more he put in the hospital…and he tried to kill _my husband_! Whatever he went through…it's _not enough_!"

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It was a lot to be dealing with…Kelly…the boys…poor Maggie…Alyssa felt like she was on the verge of losing her mind…of just breaking into a million pieces.

She could barely eat…and she probably wouldn't if Ingrid Mills, Jeanne Craddock and Cindy Hermann didn't come in every day with food. And they sat and watched her eat…just to make sure she got something in her.

She slept most night curled up in the recliner beside Kelly's bed. The nurses looked at her sympathetically…they tried to encourage her to go home…to sleep in her own bed. But in a strange, horrible…almost _sick_ way, she slept better at the hospital. The now familiar blips and beeps of the medical equipment were almost a comfort…proof that Kelly was still there and more or less in one piece. And if something changed…if his heart skipped a beat or even something as small as the IV infiltrating…an alarm went off and she was immediately awake and present.

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She was dozing in the chair when she heard her name.

"Alyssa?"

The voice was familiar…yet unfamiliar at the same time.

"Alyssa?"

She opened her eyes and uncurled herself slowly. She turned to face…her mother.

"Ma? What are you doing here?"

Alyssa was immediately on the defensive. That was the last thing on God's green earth she needed right now…to be dealing with her mother going on and on about how this would have never happened if she'd married a nice boy from the neighborhood. One nice boy in particular…who Nadine Boungiovanni refused to believe the truth about.

"Jimmy and Nicky both told me what happened…"Nadine said in a soft, gentle voice that seemed totally unnatural. "I've been trying to get up the nerve to come all week."

Nadine…trying to get up the nerve? That woman was nothing _but_ nerve.

Alyssa's eyes darted around the room. This had to be some kind if joke…or any minute Rod Serling was going to appear and tell her she'd entered another dimension.

"What are you doing here, Ma?" she asked again.

Nadine took a cautious step toward her daughter.

"I came to…see…if…there was anything…anything I could do…to help you." She said hesitantly.

What? What had she just said.

"Help? You want to help?" Alyssa asked incredulously.

Nadine drew a ragged breath. This was harder than she had thought it would be…but in all honesty…nothing short of what she deserved.

"I've thought about what you said to me, Alyssa. About pushing everyone away. And now you've got all this going on…and I thought you could use your mother."

"I _do_ need a mother…" Alyssa conceded. "But not the way it's always been with us."

"Your brothers told me, Alyssa. Jimmy and Nicky…they tell me about what's going on with you and with Joey…and Tony. The six of you sound like you've made a real family…and I should be a part of it."

"Not if you're gonna try and undermine our lives. You got all bent outta shape the last time we talked about disrespect. Well, it goes both ways. When you slam Kelly and spew about how much better my life would have been with someone else…someone who was not even an option, by the way…you disrespect _me_…my _marriage_...and my _family_."

Alyssa hugged herself…like she was trying to physically hold it all together.

"Kelly and I are married almost ten years, Ma. _Ten years_. We've got the three most amazing kids…and right now it's all falling apart." She said. "I don't know what's gonna happen later today, or tomorrow…or the day after that. Kelly might never be a firefighter again…he might have permanent lung damage…he might not be able to see!"

Nadine stood there…not knowing what to do. She wanted to hold her daughter…to comfort her…to tell her it would be okay. But she didn't know if Alyssa would let her. She didn't know if she had the right.

"For whatever it's worth, Alyssa…I've been praying for him. I do three Rosaries every day. I go to Mass every morning. I know it doesn't sound like much to you…but it was all I could think of."

Both women's tears were flowing freely now.

"You were right…you chose your husband…and if you've been together for ten years…and the life you have…what I saw, even if I didn't want to admit it…and what your brothers have told me. He must be a good man,_ Bambina_."

Her mother hadn't called her that…the Italian word for 'baby girl'…in thirty-five years.

The two took a few cautious steps toward each other.

"He is, Ma. He's the best…and he's gonna be okay. He's gotta be. 'Cause I don't know what I'd do without him."

They were close…close enough to touch…but Alyssa could see Nadine struggling…struggling to break through that last barrier.

Suddenly the flood gates opened up…and Alyssa collapsed into her mother's arms.

"I love him, Mama…I love him so much…it hurts how much I love him."

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Kelly felt like he was coming up to the surface after a dive. He was coming up fast…too fast…and he struggled to stay focused. He was slowly becoming aware of things…and things were not right.

He couldn't move for one…his arms and legs felt like they were encased in cement. He focused as hard as he could on his right hand…willing his brain to connect with whatever made it move. If he could just move his hand…if he could just get some control…

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He heard sounds…faraway…muffled at first…not unlike being in the water. But slowly they became a little clearer. A lot of beeps…a hiss…a puff…Alyssa's voice.

Alyssa's voice! He had to get to it. He gave up on his hand and refocused all his energy on the sound of his wife's voice.

"Kelly…c'mon, Baby…it's okay…c'mon back…"

I'm trying…his mind screamed. Just keep talking! Keep talking!

"I love you…I love you so much…c'mon Baby…I'm here…"

I love you too…he kept repeating over and over…but his own voice wasn't coming out…just some guttural sound deep in the back of his throat.

What was in the back of his throat? Something weird…something that didn't feel like it should be there.

"Kelly…Andy and Jesse want to see you…Maggie misses you so much…they all just want their daddy…"

His kids…where were they? Where was _he_…that they missed him?

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Then the pain hit him. A deep…sharp pain in his side…like what he imagined being stabbed with a red hot poker would feel like. Rough, jagged, tearing, _searing_…pain.

The beeps got faster and louder…and something tightened around his left arm. Something squeezed so hard it distracted him momentarily from whatever was going on with his side.

He had to get over it…he refocused on Alyssa's voice. She'd explain all this…she'd help him understand. She'd fix all these things that weren't right.

"Easy, Honey…it's okay…it's okay…I'm here…right here…I'm not going anywhere."

Then he felt something soft against his cheek. Something stroked his cheek…

Alyssa! He'd know her touch anywhere…her voice and the feel of her fingers against his face. Yes! He took a deep breath…at least in his mind he did. His body, for whatever reason, wasn't cooperating.

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"I'm here, Kelly…you're gonna be okay…everything's gonna be okay."

The pain…pain like he couldn't remember…the weird feeling in his throat…the heaviness of his right arm…_push_…push past all that.

He felt Alyssa's tiny hand slide into his left…and he felt a gentle but firm pressure. She was there…no doubt about that.

"C'mon, Baby…c'mon…it's okay…I love you…"

Over and over she kept saying it. And that was that Kelly clung to…like a life line.

How he wished he could just pull three times and Mills and Capp would lift him out of whatever this is.

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His eyes felt heavy…like they had weights on them…but he managed to open them a crack.

Light…he saw light.

A little bit more…more light…fuzzy.

He blinked a few times to bring it all into focus.

And he turned his head to the left…just a little…because something poked his neck.

There…there she was. Her face right beside his…her beautiful, beautiful brown eyes were staring right into his. Her dark brown hair was falling out of the clip that was supposed to be holding it back. And she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life.

She leaned forward…and placed her lips tenderly against his forehead…and she gave his a soft, gentle kiss.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Kelly gritted his teeth against the pain. This was absolutely unreal. He thought he had felt pain before…with his neck injury and the surgery…or with his knee. And then he woke up in the hospital and just the very act of breathing was a new exercise in torture.

It all started when they pulled the tube out of his throat. They told him to take a deep breath and blow it out as hard as he could. Were they fucking _kidding_?

Once they pulled the tube he began to cough…and the whole world threatened to go dark again. The nurse quickly fitted a nasal cannula to get him some oxygen…and he lay back against the pillows…just trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

He tried to talk…to ask Alyssa what was happening to him…how he'd gotten here…he'd figured out he was in the hospital…and he remembered being at work…going out on a call…a garage or something...someplace with cars...but then everything was a blur.

His voice sounded foreign to him…like the worst case of laryngitis he'd ever had. His throat hurt and he desperately wanted some water.

But the nurse had to ask the doctor if that was okay.

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Alyssa was right there…holding his left hand in hers…rubbing those familiar, soothing, rhythmic circles against his left shoulder.

He was taking inventory of all his body parts…trying to figure out what worked and what didn't. His right shoulder ached…and he had a cast all the way down his right arm. He could only wiggle his fingers.

His face felt funny…tight across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose…his forehead too. And there was an annoying itching feeling…but when he tried to scratch the itch…it hurt.

And he desperately needed a shave…his beard always grew in heavy…and when he put his hand up to his face…it felt like he hadn't shaved in weeks.

But what the hell had happened to his sides…particularly his right? With every agonizing breath he thought he was hearing 'Snap, Crackle, Pop' like the twins breakfast cereal.

"Lyssa?" he croaked. "Lyssa…what happened?"

Her eyes teared up…and he had no idea why. And he was focusing more on her face…she looked so tired. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her face seemed thinner than before…almost gaunt. She was wearing one of his squad t-shirts…and she absolutely swam in it. More so than usual.

How long had he been gone?

"Do you remember anything, Baby?" she asked quietly.

He searched his memory…

"I remember bein' at work…a call…big fire…a garage or something."

"That's all?"

"Am I missin' somethin'?"

He coughed…and it hurt. He squeezed her hand as hard as he could…but even that felt different. Weaker, somehow.

"You were in a tire shop." She said gently. "There was someone trapped in the back…in the garage…and you tried to rescue him…but you got hurt."

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The nurse came in with a plastic cup filled with ice chips.

"The doctor said you could have these…just one at a time."

She handed the cup to Alyssa…who took one small chunk and slipped it into his mouth.

If he didn't think it would hurt like hell, Kelly would have sighed with relief. The ice was like a drop of heaven as it melted against his tongue and the cold liquid slid down his throat. The second it was gone he opened his mouth for another…and another…and another.

After about a dozen ice chips he didn't feel like he'd just clawed his way through the desert anymore…and he tried again.

"What's wrong with me? Why does my chest hurt…and my side…"

"You broke a couple ribs, Honey. And you had a collapsed lung…so the doctors put in a chest tube. That's why your side hurts."

"Is it still there?"

"No, Babe…they took it out a couple days ago…but it's gonna be sore for a while."

Sore? No…_sore_ was his back after a busy shift…or his knee after a five mile run. This was most defiantly _not_ sore.

"How long was I out?"

He'd figured that he must have been unconscious…the tube in his throat gave that away.

"Sixteen days…" Alyssa whispered…a tear running down her cheek.

She quickly wiped it away.

Sixteen days? This was unreal…

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He shifted ever so slightly…and the pain hit him like a truck.

He sucked in his breath in a hissing sound…even though that made it worse.

Alyssa took her hand away from his shoulder and reached for something above his pillow. She pulled it gently and he saw it was a button. A button for a PCAU…patient controlled analgesia unit. He had one when he had his knee surgery…and he remembered another one...way back when Alyssa was in the hospital.

She pressed the button and it released some morphine directly into the IV in his neck.

That was another weird feeling thing…but they had the blood pressure cuff on his left arm…and his right was useless.

The pain med took the edge off the pain…just a bit.

They sat…Alyssa feeding him ice chips…and after a while he asked her to push the button again.

Then there was something he had to do.

"Lyssa…call the kids. I need to hear their voices."

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She reached for her cell phone and hit a number on her speed dial.

"Matt?" she said as the call went through. "Matt, are the kids around? Can you get 'em? Kelly wants to talk to them. Put it on speaker…"

She hit the speaker on her phone too…and they heard Casey call the kids…

"Andy! Jesse! Come in here! Your dad's on the phone!"

They heard the twins come thundering in from wherever they had been…screaming with pure, unadulterated happiness.

"Dad!" Andy cried.

"Dad!" Jesse echoed a nanosecond behind.

They both began talking so fast that Kelly couldn't even tell which one was speaking , let alone follow the conversation.

"Hey guys…" he said weakly…his voice still rasping with every word. "It's so good to hear your voices…"

Andy decided to just cut to the chase.

"Are you coming home?"

Tears welled up in Kelly's eyes at the question. He could hear the emotion in his son's voice. He hadn't been home in sixteen days…over two weeks. Just the thought that it had been that long since he'd held his kids…since he'd_ seen_ them. He'd never gone sixteen _hours_ without some contact with them…even if it was just on the phone.

"As soon as I can, Buddy…I'll be home as soon as I can." He replied, his voice choked with emotion.

He reached for Alyssa's hand and squeezed it tight.

"When is that gonna be?" Andy asked.

He wanted specifics…the day, the hour. He wanted to see his dad!

"As soon as the doctor says I can…I'm gonna do everything they tell me to so I can get home, I promise."

A couple of tears ran down his cheeks and Alyssa grabbed a tissue to pat them dry.

"Dad…I miss you…" Jesse said.

His voice didn't sound right…he sounded like he'd been crying.

"I miss you too, Jess…I miss you guys like crazy…when Mom told me…"

His voice cracked and he couldn't finish the sentence. Alyssa reached for the cup the ice chips had come in and held it to his lips so he could take a little sip and pull himself together.

"Daddy!"

Maggie! Oh, God…his baby girl.

"Maggie…hi, Baby Girl."

"Daddy!" she cried. "Daddy!"

Kelly drew in a ragged breath.

"I miss you guys…so much." He said. "So much…"

"Can we come see you?" Andy asked. "If they won't let you come home?"

"Soon, guys…I don't think they let kids come up here…but soon. I promise."

Alyssa could see the talking was draining him…both physically and emotionally.

"Guys…let's let Daddy rest now. So he can get stronger…okay? We'll talk to you again before bed, I promise. Let's say 'good-bye' now…"

That was the last thing any of them wanted…but it was what was necessary.

"Bye, Dad…" Andy said with uncharacteristic softness.

Kelly could hear the emotion in his voice.

"Bye, Dad…"

Jesse wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was crying.

"Bye, guys…I'll talk to you later." He said…his tears flowing freely.

"Daddy!" Maggie cried. "No go!"

"I have to, Baby Girl…I'll talk to you soon…bye-bye, Baby Girl…"

"Daddy!"

Alyssa ended the call…and she sank down into the chair at Kelly's bedside…and she held him the best she could.

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He'd promised. He promised Andy and Jesse that he'd get home as soon as he could. But as the first couple of days past, he realized that promise was going to be tough to keep.

He just couldn't get past the pain. His entire right side just hurt. And every little thing made it hurt more…if that was even possible.

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The first thing that happened was when the surgical PA came in to change the dressing on his side…where the chest tube had been.

Kelly understood the concept of a chest tube…what it was, why it was needed…but he'd never actually seen one. When he asked Alyssa what they had done to him…he almost didn't believe her…even when he made her tell him, when she described the procedure.

Whenever he asked a question, Alyssa answered it. But Kelly always felt like she was stopping just short of telling him the whole story. When he asked how he broke his arm, she said she didn't know. When he asked how he could have broken so many ribs, she told him something had fallen on him. When he pressed her to tell him what it was, she told him she didn't know all the details.

Under normal circumstances he'd have pressed harder…but right now, he was half lying on his left side, which hurt like a bitch. The PA was pulling the dressing from his side…and despite having had an extra dose of pain medication, he was still squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could and screaming through clenched teeth. He crushed Alyssa's hand in his till she thought he might break it.

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"Stop! Stop! Stop!" he cried out when he couldn't stand it anymore.

Alyssa tried to soothe him.

"Shhh…Kelly…just look at me." She whispered. "Just focus on me…slow breaths…look at me."

"You do it." He said suddenly.

"What do you want me to do, Honey?"

"The dressing…change the dressing." He said…his eyes pleading with her. "You do it."

She couldn't protest…she couldn't refuse him.

She looked up at the PA.

"It's not normal protocol…" she said hesitantly.

But the patient was in such obvious distress…and his wife seemed competent. What would it hurt to let her try?

Alyssa leaned over and kissed her husband gently.

"Okay, Honey…" she told him. "I'll do it."

So she disentangled her hand from his…took the hand sanitizer the PA was offering her…and circled around to the other side of the bed.

She saw the wound, held together with small, even sutures. The PA showed her how to cleanse it with moist gauze. Kelly flinched when she touched it…but not as badly as before. She gently applied the antibiotic ointment and placed the gauze pads over the wound.

Then she helped him turn onto his back again and hurried to wash her hands so she could get back to his side.

Alyssa took his hand in hers and began to do what she always did…try to soothe him.

"Are you okay now?" she asked.

He just nodded.

As okay as he was going to be…

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But there were some things she couldn't do for him. The physical therapist tried for three days to get him sitting up on the side of the bed. But any time they raised the bed past a forty-five degree angle, he couldn't do it.

Finally a doctor from the Pain Management service…Kelly didn't even know there was such a thing…came in and gave him what they called a nerve block. They injected anesthetic right into the nerves in his chest…so the pain was tolerable. He could still feel it…just not as intensely. And he wanted to scream at them…why didn't you assholes think of this four days ago?

After that he was able to sit at the edge of the bed and let his feet hang over the side. And that's when he realized just how weak he had become.

The therapist brought a walker to the side of the bed and set it in front of him.

No…he thought…no way. No way was he using that thing.

But he couldn't even sit up without using his good arm to support himself.

He hated it…he hated every goddamn second of it.

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The therapist had fastened a belt around his waist…and with Alyssa on his left side…and the therapist on his right…he braced himself to stand.

He had to use his arm to push himself up…and Alyssa helped to pull him to his feet and steady him as he grabbed the handle of the walker with his left hand.

The therapist was still holding on to the belt…and helping to support his right side.

He automatically looked down…to assure himself that the floor was actually there under his feet. And the therapist had to tell him to look up…to look straight ahead. He stood for about ten or fifteen seconds…and his legs felt like jelly.

They helped him back into bed after that…and he lay back against the pillows with his eyes shut tight. He didn't even pay attention to what the therapist was telling Alyssa about exercises and stretches he could do in bed to help build his legs back up.

When the therapist left the room Alyssa came back to his side and started to move the tray table into position so he could reach his water and the tissues and everything.

"Leave it." He said. "Put it out of the way."

"I just wanted to…"

"Well, don't!" he snapped.

Alyssa moved the tray like he asked. She knew he was frustrated and that the PT session had really discouraged him.

He'd never been hurt like this before. Sure…he'd had injuries…and surgeries…but the multiple injuries compounded…it was almost more than he could stand.

She sat down beside him and started to rub gentle circles across the back of his hand with the pad of her thumb.

"I can't do this." He whispered.

"It'll get easier, Kelly…I promise." She told him. "We're gonna get through this."

But he just looked away…only not before Alyssa read the look in his eyes. The anger, the disappointment, the hurt, the fear…they were all right there.

"How?" he asked bitterly. "How the hell are we gonna 'get through' this?"

"We will, Baby…I know it's hard…I understand…"

"Bullshit!" he spat out. "_Nobody_ knows how I feel! _Nobody_ can understand what it feels like! Don't even _go_ there!"

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The charged words hung in the air…and Alyssa took her hand from his and quickly went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

He realized as soon as the words left his mouth that if there was one person in this whole world that _did_ understand…that knew what he was feeling…it was Alyssa. Hadn't she been through it? Hadn't she fought her way back?

The only difference was in all the time she was in the hospital…through all the therapies and the procedures…he never heard her say she couldn't do it. When he had held her hand and encouraged her to take just a couple more steps…she had looked up at him with tired eyes…but she did it.

"Lyssa!" he called out. "Lyssa, come out here!"

But the door stayed shut.

"Lyssa! Lyssa! I'm sorry! Come out here!"

Nothing…

Now what had he done?

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She finally came out…after the head nurse came in to see what he was yelling about. When she did, her eyes were red and swollen and her face was all splotchy. And the nurse asked if she was okay.

Alyssa just nodded…and quietly went back to Kelly's side.

"Lyssa…I…I didn't…" he stammered.

But she gently put her fingers to his lips…shushing him. She couldn't hear how sorry he was right now…that he didn't mean it. Otherwise she'd lose it all over again.

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That night he lay awake…the pain was starting to come back…and he didn't even want to think about how bad it would be if he didn't have that nerve block.

Alyssa was asleep…she was just exhausted. She had pulled the recliner right up next to the bed and she had curled her body into a tight little ball, her head resting against the edge of the bed. All he had to do was reach out and he could touch her.

He woke her…and she uncurled herself from the knot she was tied in. She stretched and then she moved to sit beside him on the bed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I need something…" he said.

He wasn't lying. But he could have just pushed the pain button himself…but he wanted to talk to her…to finish what they started earlier.

Lyssa groped around for the button and pressed it…releasing a dose of morphine into his IV.

He reached for her hand. It was killing him not to be able to hold her…to feel her head against his shoulder…to wrap his arms around her and tangle his fingers in her long hair.

"Is this what it was like? For you?" he asked in a quiet voice, barely above a whisper. "How did you do it?"

Lyssa's heart was breaking for him…

"Kelly…"

"You're stronger than I am…" he said. "I don't know how I'm gonna get through this."

"I was strong because you were there. You were there, helping me, encouraging me, and even though you hadn't said it…I felt like you were loving me." She told him. "We'll get through this, Baby. Just the same way we did when it was me…together."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Kelly couldn't believe how in just the course of two? Three? Weeks…he'd gone from being a firefighter to being an invalid.

He just wanted to go home…to be in his own house…with Alyssa and the kids. But that wasn't even a possibility right now.

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The physical and occupational therapists sat down with him and Alyssa…and they had a ton of questions. And with every one, Kelly got more and more depressed…because it seemed like he'd never get home.

First they asked him where he lived…in a house or an apartment.

"House…" he answered.

"With your family?" the physical therapist asked.

"Yeah…"

She asked what the family consisted of…and his voice cracked when he told her he lived with his wife…and their three young children…nine year old twin boys…and their daughter was almost two.

They asked a ton of questions about the layout of the house…the number of stairs to get in…were their railings…were there stairs inside? How many? And again with the railings…on one side…or both? They wanted to know about the bathrooms…and where the bedrooms were…was there a way he could stay on one floor?

Alyssa said they had a guest room on the main floor…but it was in constant use…with their friends and family rotating in and out to take care of the kids. She expected that arrangement to continue when Kelly came home…for a while anyway.

Besides, Kelly said, he wanted to sleep in his own bed…in his own room…with his wife.

The occupational therapist asked about his "previous level of function".

Kelly bristled at that…like it was a thing of the past.

He got more and more frustrated with every question. Yes, he could dress himself, yes, he could feed himself, yes, he could walk unassisted…well, most of the time…when his knee hurt Alyssa had to help him sometimes.

Yes, he could get a meal together for himself if he had to…he could do the laundry if he had to…housework…yard work…child care…yes, he could drive.

Finally he snapped.

"Lady…I'm a _firefighter_! I _run_ into burning buildings! I handle _all kinds_ of complex, hydraulic tools! All these questions about if I can get dressed and tie my own shoes…seriously? I can throw on fifty pounds of gear and get out the door in under a minute!"

"Mr. Severide…I'm not implying your condition is permanent." The therapist said. "But we need to know what you were doing before in order to make a plan for how to get you back there…"

That hit him like a ton of bricks. _His condition? _They damn well _made_ it sound permanent when they put it that way.

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It was slow going. And the days were running together.

He wasn't sure how many days it had been since he woke up…he just knew he still couldn't take a step. He remembered the pain doctor had repeated the nerve block so he could work with the therapists…but he still couldn't sit at the edge of the bed for more than a minute…and he had to support himself with his good arm.

The therapist brought the walker over to the side of the bed and set if firmly in front of him. He still hated it…it made him _feel_ like an invalid.

Alyssa was beside him, rubbing his shoulder while he gathered his faculties. There was a physical therapy student in the room…but Kelly didn't want her to touch him. He only wanted his wife. He just wasn't comfortable with anyone else.

He braced himself to stand…and as he pushed off the bed Alyssa held on to the belt around his waist and helped to pull him up. The therapist was on his weak side…his right side. He couldn't use that arm at all, and they had fitted the walker with a special platform to rest his cast on.

He grabbed the handle with his left hand…and Alyssa placed her hand over his. With her other hand she held onto the belt.

"Look up, Kelly…" she reminded him. "Don't look at your feet."

The weight on his legs still felt awkward and it took him a few moments to get comfortable.

"Mr. Severide…" the therapist said.

"Kelly…" he told her.

'Mr. Severide' made him feel old as dirt.

"Kelly…" she said. "I want you to try and rock left to right…back and forth. Just shift your weight from one foot to the other."

He looked at the therapist like she was crazy…

But he felt Alyssa's hand squeeze his slightly…offering her encouragement.

Kelly took a deep breath…as much as he could anyway…and began to slowly shift his weight.

"What's your goal, Kelly?" the therapist asked. "What's your number one priority as far as your therapy?"

"To go home." He answered without hesitation. "My daughter's gonna be two…and I want to be home for her birthday."

Alyssa swallowed hard. She didn't have the heart to tell him Maggie's birthday was two weeks ago.

"We'll have a big party, Baby." She said. "Just as soon as you're up to it."

The therapist smiled.

"When's her birthday?"

"March eighteenth." Kelly answered.

"But today's April fourth…" the student blurted out.

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Kelly's head snapped up.

What? April? How did he not know that?"

Alyssa caught her breath. Kelly turned to her.

"Lyssa? Is that true?"

All she could do was look up at him…and when he saw the tears in her eyes, he knew it was.

He blinked in disbelief as he struggled to grasp the enormity of it all.

He had missed his baby girl's birthday.

"I can't…I can't do this." he said. "Put me back in bed."

"Kelly…" Alyssa whispered.

"Put me back in bed!" he said again.

Alyssa and the therapist slowly lowered him to the edge of the bed.

The therapist moved the walker…shooting a scathing look at her student.

"Help me…" Kelly said.

He needed Alyssa to lift his legs onto the bed and help him into a comfortable position.

He just wanted these people gone…

And once he was back in bed he told them so.

"Kelly…" the therapist tried again. "Why don't we try some of your exercises? We still have almost twenty minutes left."

"No. Just go…please?" he said.

He looked up at the therapist…

"GO!" he yelled. "Get the hell out! Leave me alone!"

Alyssa shot the woman a look…pleading with her to listen to him.

The therapist nodded and turned to go. She gave the clueless student another look that if looks could kill would have rendered her dead in less than a heartbeat.

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Once the door was closed Kelly turned to Alyssa.

"Tell me what happened." He demanded. "Tell me everything…none of this holding back stuff. I want to know what happened to me."

"Baby…" she whispered, reaching for his hand.

But he pulled away.

"Stop it, Alyssa! I know you think you're protecting me…but you're not! Now…tell me everything. From the beginning!"

Alyssa looked at him…and she knew there was going to be no placating him.

She wasn't looking forward to this.

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"What's the last thing you remember, Baby?"

Kelly leaned back against the pillows and tried to will the memories back into his mind.

"The fire…it was an auto shop or something."

Alyssa nodded.

"That was just one…do you remember all the fires in the last six months? The bakery, the flower shop, that Italian restaurant? Joe's?"

He did remember…he nodded…knowing he wasn't going to like it when she tied it all together.

Why didn't _he_ remember? That was really bothering him.

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"All those fires…it was something like thirty…in about six months…" Alyssa said.

Then she stopped…

"I don't know how to tell you, Kelly…"

"Just spit it out!" he snapped impatiently.

He had to know.

"Okay…" she said hesitantly. "It was Darren Chesnick. At first he was working for these meathead wanna-be Sopranos…Nicco Suave…but after the fire at Joe's…he just…kind of… went off the reservation."

"They got the Sopranos…" he said. "Antonio Dawson was working on it…"

"Yeah…but by then Chesnick was outta control. The guy was totally unhinged."

Then Kelly remembered something.

"He was talking about it…at the gym. He said the cops were so stupid…they didn't know what to look for. I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me. But I got a sick feeling in my stomach…and I had to get away from him."

"When was that?"

"Around the first of the year…my dad and I went back to one of the scenes. We poked around and it was all right there…everything…right where he said it'd be."

He'd never told her…apparently she wasn't the only one doing a little bit of protecting.

"So what did you do with the information?" she asked.

"I told Antonio…and he went to scoop up Chesnick…but the guy was in the wind." Kelly said.

He remembered…all through the end of February…it was pretty quiet…comparatively speaking.

But that still didn't explain his injuries.

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"So Chesnick set the fire in that garage?" he asked.

He closed his eyes…and he remembered the flaming showroom…the burning rubber everywhere. Squad went into the shop…

"There was a man down." Kelly said.

"A security guard." Alyssa whispered. "Chesnick killed him…caved his skull in with a tire iron."

Kelly remembered almost falling over that tire iron.

"He got caught in his own trap, Baby…" she said carefully. "Maybe it was on purpose…but you went after him…and he tried to kill you."

What?

Kelly's eyes flew open.

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Kelly caught his breath…so quickly that he felt a stab of pain…despite the nerve block …despite the medicine. His left hand went to his ribs…and Alyssa felt the panic grab her.

This is why she didn't want to tell him. She was afraid it was all too much.

She tried to soothe him…

"Kelly…we should stop."

"No!" he said. "No! Lyssa…I need to know what happened!"

"I really _don't _know everything, Kelly. When Matt got to you, he said you didn't have your helmet…you didn't have your mask… that you were unconscious…your arm was broken…and Chesnick was on top of you. He was burned…he was _burning_!"

Kelly squeezed his eyes shut gain…trying to force himself to see it all over again. And he did…little bits and pieces anyway.

"He fought with me…" Kelly whispered. "It was like he wasn't even human."

Alyssa had tears rolling down her face. She moved closer to Kelly and took his hand in hers. It was killing her too…to not be able to lie beside him and hold him tight. The physical closeness between them was such a huge cornerstone to their relationship. It was one thing they'd been able to fall back on time and time again.

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"What about Chesnick?" he asked suddenly. "What happened to him?"

"He didn't make it, Kelly." Alyssa told him quietly. "He was burned over like…eighty-five to ninety percent of his body. They took him to Loyola…and he lingered for about ten…twelve days. But he's gone."

"And he killed my whole career…" Kelly said bitterly.

"You don't know that, Baby." She said. "You'll get better…it'll take time…but you can get it all back."

"Get real, Lyssa." He said sharply. "You're always lookin' for the silver lining…well this time it's not there!"

She had never gotten back after her injuries…not a hundred percent. She still had a permanent loss of function in her right arm…the strength had never come back…the range of motion in her joints was all diminished. She still got blinding headaches from time to time…not nearly as bad as in the beginning, but there were still times when she got so sick it scared him. He'd never…for as long as he lived…forget the terror of coming home from a shift and finding her unconscious on the bathroom floor.

No…it was over. He'd have to go on LTD for sure. Maybe he'd still be able to stay on as a consultant for Chicago Fire. Maybe they could move down to Florida…and he could still go into business with Eric Whaley. Wasn't that what Eric had said when he called the other day? 'I'm still waitin' for you, Buddy.'? But they could decide all that later…once they saw what he was gonna be up against.

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Darren Chesnick.

Kelly's blood boiled just _thinking_ his name. The sonofabitch…just because _he_ had to retire before he was ready…just because _he_ was pissed off at the whole goddamn department…the city…hell, the whole fucking _world_…like that gave him the right to play judge, jury and executioner with someone else's career. No…with someone else's _life_.

And in the end he took his own life, really. Why couldn't he have just jumped off a damn bridge? Or a building? Or put a gun in his mouth? Kelly'd probably have had to go mop up the mess…him and the rest of Station 51. But at least he'd have been home for his baby's birthday.

Maggie's birthday…if today was April the fourth, then it had been almost a month to the day since he'd been home. He remembered the twin's talking about a St. Patrick's Day party at school…so that meant he'd probably gotten hurt the week before. Alyssa prob'ly knew the exact date…she prob'ly knew the exact hour, the exact minute when the call had come.

Maggie was way too little to understand all this. What was she thinking? Did she think Daddy didn't love her anymore? Would she know him when she saw him? Had he changed?

And Andy and Jesse…what had Alyssa told them? They were always honest with the boys…especially when something happened to Kelly…or one of the firehouse family. Did they know who was responsible for all this? Did they realize it was someone they had met?

Were they scared? Were they scared something might happen to them? Or the house? Hadn't they already lived through enough with the fires they had seen up close and personal?

All these thoughts…everything was all jumbled together. How the hell were things ever gonna get back to normal?

Did 'normal' even exist anymore?

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He wished he could get out of this goddamn bed. He wanted to scream…to hit…to throw something. Something to release all this _anger_…it was burning him inside…just like Chesnick. But he was trapped…just like he'd been trapped in that body shop…tire shop…whatever.

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Alyssa was saying something…and Kelly had to force himself to get past all the noise in his head and listen to her.

"Kelly…you're gonna get better. You will. You've got so many people practically fallin' over themselves to help you…to be there for you. You won't believe how everybody's pulled together."

She had tears in her eyes…and he reached up with his good hand to wipe away the ones that had spilled down her cheeks.

She loved him…and she hurt for him…and she'd push herself to the brink of exhaustion taking care of him. She already had.

"Matt and Leslie…Pete and Gabby…Jose…they've been taking turns staying at the house…Ingrid and Jeanne and Cindy Hermann have been cooking…and everybody got together to make a birthday party for Maggie…"

"What? They already had the party?"

Alyssa realized she'd just put her foot in it. She should know Kelly'd be upset about missing the party too.

She nodded.

"But we'll have one at home, Honey…just as soon as you can handle it…"

"What's the point?! It's over?!"

"Morgan had it taped…he had the camera crew there…they filmed the whole thing…"

"Call him." Kelly said.

"I will, Baby…"

"Now. Call him right now!"

"They were shooting in Evanston today…"

"I don't care! I don't give a damn if they're shooting in Kankakee! Call him! Right now!"

Alyssa was worried he'd hurt himself…he was so worked up. If they took his blood pressure right now it'd prob'ly be through the roof.

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She reached for her phone…and she fired off a text for Morgan to call her ASAP."

"I said call him!" Kelly said.

"He'll call back, Kelly. He's been real good about that. He's got someone watching his phone if he's in the middle of a scene…"

Kelly's mouth closed in a hard line.

Five minutes wasn't fast enough. He had to see that party…more than anything in the world…he _had_ to see that party.

His breath was coming hard and fast…and Alyssa sat down on the bed beside him. She took his hand in hers and she rubbed the pad of her thumb across the back.

"Kelly…"

"Call him, Alyssa. Call him on the damn phone." He said. "And don't stop till he picks up."

Alyssa could see he wasn't going to calm down till he talked to Hollywood…and had an ETA.

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Just as she reached for her phone…it went off.

"Lyssa…" Morgan sounded out of breath…like he'd just come running. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm putting you on speaker, Morgan."

She hit the button.

"Craddock…" Kelly said.

"Lieutenant…what's goin' on?"

"I wanna see Maggie's party. Lyssa said you taped it."

"Yeah…and I've got it on a DVD." Morgan said. "I can bring it tomorrow…"

"No! Not tomorrow…get your ass in a car and bring it now!"

"I don't have it on me…and we're in the middle of a scene out here…"

Kelly's eyes flashed…and Alyssa sucked in her breath.

"Morgan…is there anything you can do? Please? He's had a horrible day…"

They heard Hollywood let out his breath.

"I'll see what I can do. I've gotta stop at my place…then I'll be there just as soon as I can."

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It still took him two hours…and by the time he got there Alyssa was afraid Kelly was about to have a stroke.

Morgan Craddock breezed into the room…he hadn't even bothered to put his street clothes on. He was still wearing his turnout pants and boots…his bright red suspenders glaring against his blue long sleeve t-shirt, the left one covering the CFD logo.

He still had the make-up on his face and hands…the soot and grime from the fire scene.

He set his bag on the chair against the far wall…and pulled out his laptop.

"I just want you to know, Lieutenant…you're a very important man. You just shut down the whole show with one phone call." He said in an attempt to lighten the mood. The tension was so thick in that room…you'd need a K-12 to cut through it.

Kelly just glared as Craddock set the laptop on the tray table. He wasn't in the mood for humor.

"Just play it…" Kelly snapped.

Craddock was used to Kelly's temper by now…so he pulled out the cord and plugged in the laptop.

Then he took the DVD from its jewel case and put it in.

"Now…we had three cameras going for about five hours…so I had to edit it down to two and a half." Morgan said as he backed away from the computer slowly…hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I'm just gonna say that up front…"

But Kelly wasn't even listening. He was reaching out to slide his fingers over the "mouse pad"…to get to the "play" button. But the arrow kept sliding all over the screen.

"Alyssa…" he growled. "Fix it…"

Alyssa reached over to start the DVD.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and grab a bite to eat, okay?" Morgan said.

He had a feeling the Lieutenant and Alyssa would prefer to watch it together…without him.

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It was an emotional thing…Morgan had to stop and pull it together several times when he was editing and splicing the footage. Even though the kids looked like they were having a great time…all the adults were poignantly aware of who was missing.

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The diner came into view…and the pink streamers and balloons…the camera was honed in right on the door to capture the princess's arrival.

They caught Andy's comment about more Pepto Bismol.

Kelly couldn't help but chuckle…then he grimaced in pain and he held his ribs with his left hand.

"Ow…" he said.

Alyssa just held onto his arm…she wasn't about to suggest they stop.

Besides…she wanted to see it too. She hadn't been able to bring herself to watch without Kelly.

"Shhh…" she whispered soothingly. "Try not to overdo it…"

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The camera's captured everything…the food…all the finger foods…Mill's famous "Maggie Cheesy"…and Andy and Otis having a contest to see who could eat the most mini-Sliders.

No surprise…Andy won hands down.

"That's my boy…" Kelly said under his breath.

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Casey held Maggie up so she could blow out the candles on her pink and purple frosted cake. But at first she was totally distracted by the princess dolls placed around the edges of the two tiers.

"Arie-o!" she cried happily as she pointed to the figure of the red headed princess from the Little Mermaid. "Belle! An' Ciner-weh-wa!"

"That's right Maggie…they're all there." Casey told her. "Now let's blow out the candles…"

"No-white!" Maggie pointed to the dark haired princess. "Seepin' Booty!"

The candles were melting down.

"If she doesn't blow em' out soon…" Hermann interjected… "There's gonna be nothin' left."

And her big brother was all too ready to take matters into his own hands.

But Leslie stopped him.

"Don't even dream it, Andy." She said. "It's her day…"

"But I want some cake…" Andy protested. "And this could go on for _hours_!"

Alyssa smiled at her husband.

"He's definitely got your patience…"

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The presents must have taken an hour…and Maggie must have squealed a million times…and Kelly wondered if her little hands hurt from all the clapping she did.

She looked so happy…and when the camera zoomed in on her sweet little face…and her teal blue eyes…Kelly couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

He shut the lap top and turned to Alyssa. She was crying freely too.

"I wanna go home…" he said. "I just wanna go home."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Alyssa pulled the SUV in the drive. She stopped close to the front steps and put the car in park.

Then she looked over at Kelly, sitting in the passenger seat. Her heart went out to him…he looked so nervous. She reached out and took his left hand.

"You're home, Baby." She whispered.

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It had been more than two and a half months since he'd last been in his own house. Two months, twenty-two days to be exact. On March eighth, he'd left to go to the firehouse…thinking it was just gonna be a normal shift…and he'd be home the next morning to have breakfast with Alyssa and Maggie.

But they'd gotten a call just before midnight…and his whole life changed. He still didn't remember a lot of it…but he knew that he had confronted an arsonist in a burning auto shop…and that arsonist apparently didn't care if he didn't get out alive. What's more…he tried to take Kelly with him.

The hardest part to swallow was that the guy was a firefighter…and Kelly had considered him a friend. A man that had been in his house, sat at his table…ate his food…had tried to kill him.

He had been terribly injured…broken bones, a collapsed lung, a concussion…and every day since he'd woken up in the hospital had been just…_pain_…constant pain. There were a lot of other emotions mixed in…anger, self pity, depression, fear, frustration…but mostly pain.

And the man responsible for all of it was dead. He had been burned over ninety percent of his body…most injuries like that were unsurvivable. So Darren Chesnick would never have to answer for the destruction he had wrought on not just Kelly and the Severide family…but the eleven people he had killed, the dozen and a half more he had put in the hospital, and the owners of the thirty some odd businesses he had torched over a six month period. He'd never be punished for his crimes.

That just didn't sit right with Kelly…or Alyssa…or anyone else at Station 51.

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All of these thoughts got jumbled together in Kelly's head as he sat in the car trying to get up the strength and the courage to get out, climb the five steps, and go into the house…where his three children were waiting.

One thing…Kelly hadn't lacked for family support throughout this ordeal. Alyssa had barely left his side since he had gotten hurt. Most every night she had slept in a chair at his bedside in the hospital. She was there for every therapy session, working right alongside the therapists to help him get back on his feet and learn to do everything all over again.

He was eternally grateful…having her there. There were a lot of times he knew he'd have just given up if she hadn't been there. It reminded him that once their roles were reversed. About a dozen years before, when Alyssa had been the one struggling to fight her way back from devastating injuries…and he had watched her every step of the way.

He asked her once how she did it…how she'd found the strength. And she was quiet for awhile.

"It was you, Kelly…" she said as she held his one hand in both of hers.

"What are you talkin' about?" he asked. "It was you…you're the one who did all the work."

"Kelly, I knew…_long_ before I got hurt…that I loved you." She told him. "I already knew that I wanted you to be my 'forever'. And I was afraid that Brad was going to take all that away from me before I even got a chance."

Kelly remembered that time…he'd remember it as long as he lived. He had been afraid to admit to himself that he loved her…especially when he didn't even know if she was going to be okay…but every time he was alone…and sometimes when he wasn't…he'd take out his phone and listen to her last message…just to hear the sound of her voice. He couldn't help it…it was comforting.

"Even though we had never said exactly what we were to each other…I felt like every day you were there with me…helping me get through a therapy session, walking with me…it was like I was getting one step closer to that 'forever'. I kept telling myself that you must have loved me…if you were doing all the things you did…you must love me. Even if you never said the words. That's where I got the strength." She said.

"I think I was in love with you after about a week…" he admitted. "I was just too much of a coward to admit it."

"Don't _ever_ call yourself a coward, Kelly. You're the bravest man I know. And I'm not just talking about being a firefighter…it's the _way_ you do your job…you never give up on anybody. When you pulled that guy Daniel out…you spent all that time…and all the while you were talking to him…making him feel safe…giving him strength to hang on. And he was so grateful he named his son after you."

She took one hand away, and reached up to his face. She cupped his cheek in her palm…and out of habit he leaned into the familiar comfort of the gesture.

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Alyssa's voice broke into his thoughts.

"You ready to go in, Baby?"

"Yeah…" he said.

He hoped being home again would get things back to normal with the kids.

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By the time he was transferred out of ICU, it was already three and a half weeks since the accident. Well, not an accident…but whatever. It was almost a month since he'd seen the boys and his baby girl.

Casey and Shay had brought them to the hospital…and Kelly was on pins and needles waiting for them to get there.

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He was already exhausted. He didn't want them to see him lying in bed…and all scruffy.

They started getting ready hours before the kids were supposed to arrive. Alyssa and one of the nurses had gotten him out of bed and wheeled him into the bathroom. Then they transferred him to a bath chair…covered his cast…and Alyssa had given his a long, hot shower. It wasn't easy. It took a lot of energy on both their parts, but it felt _so good_.

Then she had shaved him. His beard always grew in dark and heavy…but this was too much. None of the kids had ever seen him with that much hair on his face. And he wanted to look normal for them.

She set up his toothbrush for him so he could brush his teeth…and she helped him into a clean hospital gown. He wished he could put clothes on…but he still had too many wires and tubes attached to get a t-shirt and a pair of sweats on.

Then Alyssa wheeled him back into the room…and she and the nurse helped him transfer to the recliner. It was such a production…get the wheelchair close…lock it down…get the walker. He still hated that thing with a passion. Stand up…balance…no weight on his right arm at all…and then three steps…pivot. Make sure he was lined up…then Alyssa and the nurse slowly lowered him into the chair. Position…make sure all the wires and shit weren't tangled…then slowly recline so his legs were elevated.

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He could hear Andy and Jesse from the minute they got off the elevator. Neither of the twins really walked…they were always going full steam ahead…especially Andy.

The boys stopped outside the door…and Kelly thought he was about to burst waiting for them.

Lyssa went to the door to see what the holdup was. There she saw her boys…with Casey right behind them. Their blue eyes were big as saucers.

"C'mon guys…" she said, holding out her hand. "Daddy's waiting for you. He can't wait to see you."

Shay came up behind them carrying Maggie with her. She must have been anxious too…because she was sucking her thumb…she only did that when she slept usually…and she was clutching her little brown covered book… 'Who Loves Maggie?' that she had carried everywhere since her birthday party.

Lyssa led the twins into the room and Kelly's face broke into a huge smile when he saw them.

"My boys! You got so big!"

The minute they heard his voice…they wanted to run to him…but Alyssa held them back for a second.

"Easy, guys…you gotta be gentle with Dad…"

Andy and Jesse stopped just out of arms reach. This was too weird. It was Dad sitting there…but it wasn't _Dad_. _Dad_ was big and strong…like Superman. He could run into a burning building. He could tear a car apart with the Jaws in about two minutes. He could carry a man as big as he was down a ladder. And he could pick up both of them at the same time.

The Dad in front of them looked basically the same. It was the same face…the same eyes. But he was thinner. His face was thinner and there were dark circles under his eyes. His shoulders didn't look as big and he had his right arm in the cast and a sling. He looked weak and tired sitting in that chair with a blanket over his legs.

Andy swallowed hard as mom guided him over to Kelly's left side and Kelly reached out for his son and enveloped the boy the best he could in a one arm hug. And feeling how stiff and unrelaxed, unnatural Andy was just drove a knife straight through his heart.

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He gave Andy a quick kiss on the top of his head and squeezed his eyes shut so his son wouldn't see the tears welling up. Lyssa moved Andy aside and brought Jesse in.

Jesse wasn't quite as stiff…and he wanted desperately to hug his dad…but he was afraid of hurting him. So he just laid his head on Kelly's shoulder for a moment. But only for a moment, because he saw something sticking out of Dad's neck.

"What's that, Daddy?" he asked as he pointed to it.

He was afraid to actually touch it.

"That's where they put my medicine and take the blood for tests and stuff." Kelly answered. "So they don't have to give me a million shots every day."

Jesse's eyes went wide. He hated shots…that was the one thing he was really, really scared of. To get so many in one day…the little boy shuddered.

Kelly took a breath to try and pull himself together. This was harder than he thought. The boys were older…nearly nine and a half. He knew that Alyssa and the rest of the family had told them at least some of what had happened to him…and presumably they could understand all the injuries he had. At least in the abstract. Seeing reality starring you in the face was a bitter pill to swallow…and it didn't matter how old you were.

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But there was still one person left…

"Maggie…c'mere Baby Girl."

Casey had taken Maggie from Shay and he carried her those few steps to the chair. Then he crouched down beside his friend.

Maggie turned away and buried her face in Uncle Matt's shirt.

At the sight of his baby girl pulling away from him…Kelly forgot about the knife plunging into his heart. No, this was just reach inside his chest, pull his heart out…and crumble it into dust right there in your hand.

"C'mon, Maggie…it's Daddy." Casey told her.

Maggie peeked one teal-blue eye out and looked over to Kelly. Then slowly she lifted her head.

"Can I put her in your lap?" Matt asked.

Kelly nodded. It's prob'ly hurt like hell…but he didn't care. He had to show Maggie he was still "Daddy".

Casey deposited her in his lap and immediately she started squirming to go back. Kelly had to bite his lip to keep from crying out in pain as her little elbow poked him in the ribs. Alyssa saw the look on his face, but she knew it probably hurt him more for her to take Maggie from him.

She knelt down beside the chair where Casey had been.

"Shhh…Maggie…"she whispered, putting her hand on her daughter to try and soothe her. "Daddy just wants to hold you."

Kelly tightened his left arm around her little body.

"It's okay, Baby Girl…" he said.

He saw the book she was clutching in her hands.

"What's that, Baby Girl?" he asked. "Can you show Daddy?"

She pulled the book away for a second, flashing Kelly a look at the cover before hugging it back against her chest.

"Is that a new book? Can Daddy read it to you?"

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Apparently he said the magic words…because Maggie suddenly held the pink and brown covered volume out to him. That, of course presented something of a challenge. He couldn't hold it in his right hand…he couldn't get the angle on it.

Alyssa reached out and held the book out in front of him…and he saw the title.

"Who Loves Maggie?"

Alyssa opened it up…and Kelly began reading.

"Who loves Maggie?" he read. "Uncle Matt loves to hear her giggle…it always makes him smile…"

He studied the page of pictures of Maggie and Casey…at the firehouse…at the department picnic…in her Princess carriage that he'd made.

"Uncle Matt loves to watch Maggie drive her carriage…"

Alyssa turned the page…and there were a bunch of photos of Maggie with Aunt Leslie.

"Aunt Leslie loves to watch Maggie dance…Aunt Leslie loves to brush Maggie's hair because it's so soft…and always smells like strawberries."

The next page had a picture of Maggie at the counter at the diner…not so daintily shoving a spoon full of "Maggie Cheesy" in her mouth.

"Uncle Pete loves how Maggie always makes 'all gone' with her Mac 'n cheese…"

He went on…everybody, it seemed had a page…Grandpa Benny, Chief, Mouch, Nicky and Kathy, Joey and Emma Lynn…everybody said the things they loved about the little girl.

When he got to the last pages, he stopped.

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There were two whole pages with a collage of family photos. Him holding Maggie on the day she was born. Alyssa lying in their bed holding Maggie beside her. The twins "helping" to give her a bath…and another of them starring at their baby sister in her cradle.

There must have been about thirty pictures alone on those pages.

And the words in the center of it all…

"And who loves Maggie most of all?"

Alyssa slowly turned to the last page…and there was the picture they had sent out with their holiday cards. The five of them…beside the firefighter tree…Kelly held Maggie in one arm…and had the other around Alyssa's shoulders. The boys were right in front of them…and Lyssa had her one hand on Jesse's shoulder.

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Kelly felt like the air got sucked out of the room…it was almost too much.

"Lyssa…take her…"

He was so emotional after seeing that book. He had heard about it…how Morgan had made it for her when he was still asleep…when they didn't know what was going to happen. Just the thought of how close he had come to not being there for his kids…the thought that this book could have just as easily been all Maggie had to remember him by…

Alyssa took Maggie and handed her back to Leslie. She gave Shay a look, pleading for her to do something.

Leslie in turn looked at Casey…and Matt turned to the boys.

"Hey, guys…why don't we go down to the coffee shop and get your dad a chocolate milkshake?"

Once the kids were safely out of the room, Alyssa brought Kelly his water. While he sipped it, she went into the bathroom and came back with a cool cloth which she used to wipe the tears that had trickled down his cheeks.

Then she set it aside and held his hand while he tried to pull it back together.

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"Kelly…we should go inside." Alyssa told him gently.

He snapped back from his daydream.

How long had they been sitting in the driveway? He took one more breath to gather his courage.

"Yeah…let's go…"

She came around to the passenger door to help him out of the car. It took him a few moments to find his balance. He still wasn't 100% steady on his feet.

His arm was out of the cast…but it was still in the sling. He'd just started doing gentle range of motion exercises with it…he still couldn't lift anything. Alyssa reached into the back and pulled out the cane with the four feet on the bottom... he still needed something something for some support… but he refused to bring that God-awful walker home.

Then slowly, they made their way around the car and over to the steps. Kelly felt Alyssa's hand on his belt…ready to help him…or catch him if he fell. And one step at a time they climbed the stairs to their front door.

Alyssa opened the door, and he stepped into his dining room. He looked around, just taking it all in.

"Hey, kids!" he called out. "We're home!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Alyssa!" Kelly called. "Alyssa!

'Where the hell was she?' He wondered. He'd been calling for for about five minutes.

It sucked that he'd been home almost a month now and for the most part, he was no better than the day he got out of the hospital. It was frustrating…every day he went to some kind of therapy, either PT or Occupational therapy. Either that or he went to a doctor's appointment. Some days, it was both. But he didn't feel like he was getting any better…any stronger. He felt like he was just spinning his wheels.

He still needed Alyssa to help him with everything. She had to help him get up, she had to help him lay down, to change positions…whatever. She had to dress him, cut his food, fix his toothbrush…

She had to walk beside him…and guard him in the stairs…or in the bathroom.

Granted, if he hadn't refused all those adaptive things they kept pushing at the hospital, maybe a few things would be easier. But all that stuff…the 'sock aide' and the 'long handled shoehorn' and the stretchy shoelaces…no fucking way, thank you very much. That stuff was for _old_ people…the same with the walker. He didn't want his kids to see him like that!

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But was it so much better for them like this? Having to watch their mom do everything for him? Not being able to go anywhere…because he refused to use a wheelchair for longer distances? Not to be able to do stuff with them? He hadn't been to a single one of Andy and Jesse's baseball games…or their practices.

He had missed the awards ceremony at school…and field day. Hollywood had gone with a camera man to get it on film so Kelly could see it.

And Alyssa had missed everything too…because he needed her all the time.

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He got into an absolutely unholy battle with Shay over it when she had tried to persuade him to cut Alyssa some slack. That was the night of the Award Ceremony…

"The boys should have at least _one_ of their parents there!" she said.

"C'mon…they'll prob'ly have more people there than anybody!"

It was true. At least half the firehouse would be there…Casey, Mills, Dawson, Chief…Mouch was going, because Jesse was getting an award for an essay Mouch had helped him write. Vargas was going…both the boys were getting Presidential Fitness Awards…and Andy had set new records for sit-ups, chin-ups and the long jump for the primary grades.

His dad would be there, along with Alyssa's parents…Kelly was still trying to wrap his head around_ that_ one…

"It's not the same!" Leslie argued. "There's no reason for Lyssa not to be there! I can stay here with you and Maggie."

"Forget it, Shay!"

"You gotta give her a break, Kelly. Can't you see how exhausted she is?"

"I'm sorry…" he spat at her. "It's not like this is some kind of picnic for me either, you know! You think I _like_ having to ask my wife for every little thing?"

Leslie huffed in frustration.

He could be soooo….hard-headed it was ridiculous.

"It's not like you don't have a million people to help you! I've offered…I don't know how many times... to stay with you so she can…"

"_**No**_, Shay!" he shouted. "What part of that don't you understand?"

She tried to appeal to his sense of reason…

"Kelly…I'm your best friend. You know that. I've known you for like…twenty years! I used to _live _with you, for God's sake!"

"I don't care! I'm not gonna ask even my best friend to help me to the bathroom…or to wipe my ass!"

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In the end Shay had just thrown up her hands in frustration and stalked out of the room…leaving Kelly to sulk on the couch.

Actually…he was fuming. Did Shay think he _liked_ this? He was just as frustrated…no, _pissed off…_as anyone. Even_ more_ than anyone.

He'd been injured on the job before…he'd done rehab after his neck surgery…and twice now with his knee. And he'd never made such... slow progress! It was the rib injuries…and the place where the chest tube had been. Even three months later…his right side especially was _so_ tender. He had scars now…almost as bad as Alyssa's were…where they had opened him up that first night. He had wires holding two lower ribs together…they were completely broken…and that's what had punctured his lung. And the chest tube…it had been almost a foot long and stuck in his side for two weeks.

The pain management specialist had to repeat that nerve block about four or five times. It had been about two weeks now since he'd had one…and he really wanted it to stop.

His arm was still weak. He couldn't squeeze anything harder than a soft squeezie ball. He couldn't lift more than five pounds with it. Most of the time he still wore the sling. It kept the arm from getting too tired…but more importantly it helped guard his ribs.

He could walk around the house without that cane. But he had to stop every few feet…and Alyssa had to be there in case he lost his balance.

It took almost five minutes to climb the stairs to the bedroom. He could see why they had suggested at the hospital that he rent a hospital bed and stay on the one floor. But again…no way._ He_ didn't want to have to look at that…let alone the kids.

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This was probably harder on Maggie than anyone. Now Daddy was home and she could see him everyday…but he never picked her up and swung her around till she giggled. He never snuggled her close. And he never took her for story time or for Maggie Cheesy at Uncle Pete's diner.

He didn't get down on the floor and play with her. Instead he laid on the couch and most of the time Mommy was right next to him.

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"Alyssa!" he called again.

What the hell? He knew she was in the house. Morgan had taken the kids all the way out to Brookfield Zoo to see some dinosaur exhibit…and to see the dolphins…and knowing Hollywood he prob'ly brought someone along to film the whole thing.

But where was Lyssa? He thought about it…he'd seen her go upstairs…

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He grit his teeth together to keep from screaming as he turned onto his left side. It was still a little tender too…but nothing compared to the right. Then he could use his good arm to help push him up into a sitting position.

He had just worked on that the other day in PT.

Once he was sitting he braced himself to try and stand. He had to slide over on the couch until he got to the arm rest…then he was able to get himself to his feet.

Just that much had tired him. But he made his way over to the entertainment console…then the rest of the way to the stairs. With his left hand on the new railing Casey had put up along the inside wall, he climbed the steps one at a time.

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Finally…he made it to the top…and then started to his bedroom.

The door was closed…that was unusual. Unless he was in there sleeping…the door was always open during the day.

It wasn't locked…he half expected it might be…but the room was empty.

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He headed toward the bathroom. That door was closed too. Again, weird. Unless Lyssa was helping him shower…

He heard a sound as he approached the door. He stopped outside it, his hand resting on the knob.

It sounded like crying.

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He opened the door…and there was Alyssa.

"Lyssa…didn't you hear me? I've been calling you for five minutes…"

He stopped short when he saw her leaning against the counter…water running…

She took the washcloth from her face and their eyes met in the mirror.

She'd been crying…and she was trying to hide it from him.

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"Lys…what's goin' on?" he asked as he took a few steps closer to her, and laid his left hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him.

"Nothing…" she said quickly…shutting off the water and going through the motions of trying to spread the cloth out to dry.

"Bullshit." He said. "What's goin' on?"

Alyssa drew in a ragged breath and wiped her hands on the hand towel hanging on the towel bar.

"Alyssa? C'mon…it's just me."

She slowly looked up at him.

It was just him…standing there…looking down at her…those beautiful blue eyes, so tender, so gentle.

"I'm sorry, Baby." She said softly. "I heard you…I was just…trying to get cleaned up. I didn't want you to see this."

"Why not? I'm still your husband…"

"I know you are…and I love you. But you've got enough on your plate without me having a meltdown…"

"I just wanna know why." He said, gently stroking one finger along her cheek. "Are you okay?"

She nodded…a little anyway…

"I'm just…tired…I'm worried. About you…about the kids…I feel like I'm neglecting them…"

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Alyssa had barely left his side for the past three…three and a half months. He could count on one hand the number of times she _hadn't _slept in the chair next to his bed while he was in the hospital. And he'd still have a couple fingers left over. Even though they had meals prepared by Ingrid Mills, and Jeanne Craddock…and now Alyssa's mom…she was cooking his favorites…trying to get his strength up. She massaged his shoulder and did the range of motion exercises for his arm with him…hell, _for_ him…four times a day. And even though he fought her and whined like an obnoxious child…she'd hold the pillow to splint his ribs and make him do his deep breathing exercises. She massaged and stretched his legs so he wouldn't get blood clots from inactivity.

All the things she did for him…had he even said 'thank-you' recently? He sure couldn't remember.

Even though he was going through all this…she was right there with him. And he knew he couldn't do it without her.

He used his good arm to draw her in. Carefully, she stepped closer to him and slipped her arms around his waist. He brought her head against his chest…and he tangled his fingers in her hair. He hadn't done that in months. He kissed the top of her head…and inhaled the scent of her lemon scented shampoo.

Holding her like this…even though his arm was still folded in the sling…and she wasn't hugging him tight like she normally would…it was the first time since all this shit had happened that he felt _normal_ again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Kelly let his breath out slowly as he twisted to his left side.

'Seven…' he counted to himself.

Three more…then one more set…and his session was over. Then he'd go to the "cool down" area and ice his shoulder…and his ribs…and Alyssa would come in and sit beside him. He'd tell her everything he had done. It was like he was one of the kids. Every day, the first thing he asked Andy and Jesse when they got home was 'how was school today?' and 'what'd you do?'.

'How was physical therapy today, Kelly? What'd you do today?'

'Nine…' slow breaths, he reminded himself. One continuous movement.

This was prob'ly the hardest exercise he'd had to do so far. He had to reach back behind him, grab the handle of the pulley weight…and bring it over his shoulder while twisting his trunk to the opposite side. It was for core strengthening…and right now, he didn't have any.

The irony was he used to do this exercise all the time with over a hundred pounds of weight. He could do it all day long.

'No…' he stopped himself. 'No negative thoughts. Concentrate on the good things.'

He forced himself to think about the great weekend they'd had. Saturday he'd gone to Andy and Jesse's baseball game for the first time all summer. He was there to watch them hold the other team to only one run…and the one-two combination of Andy at pitcher and Jesse at first base…pretty lethal. Both boys had scored big runs. Andy had three RBI's and Jesse had two. Their team won 7-1…and it was prob'ly safe to say Kelly was the proudest dad there.

They made a whole family outing of it…him and Lyssa…Maggie playing on the blanket beside his chair…and afterwards he had bought them all ice cream.

He was half way through his last set.

'Seven…eight…nine…and ten.'

He let the weight fall back slowly…controlled movements…and he rotated his shoulder a few times. Then he grabbed his towel and his water bottle…nodded curtly to his usually chatty neighbor on the leg extension machine…and went to meet Lyssa.

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The 'neighbor' as a twenty-some year old guy…a firefighter…just finished with his candidacy. He was on Truck 34 and he was rehabbing a broken ankle. That was all fine…and Kelly had talked to him…until last week when the guy was cheerfully going on and on about how great it had been to have the whole summer off like this. How his girlfriend didn't have school…and they got to spend all the time together. Oh…and he let it slip that his injury was a result of a drunken water-skiing accident. Not a work related thing.

Kelly had looked at the guy with utter contempt. How many times had he had to go mop up a drunk driving accident? Or pull an injured boater out of the lake…because alcohol and water don't necessarily mix.

This kid wouldn't have made it through his candidacy if he'd been assigned to Station 51…and Kelly told him so.

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Alyssa was waiting for him and he couldn't help but smile when he saw she already had the cold packs for him. He leaned down and gave her a little kiss before he stretched out on the table. She packed the ice around his shoulder…and then she sat beside him, slowly easing the other cold pack against his side.

Her gentle touch immediately relaxed him…and her smile…that special smile that was just for him…made his heart skip a beat.

It had been a huge thing for him to go into PT by himself this time around. When he was discharged from the hospital…for the first month and a half…and he could admit this now…he just laid around feeling sorry for himself. When he came in for therapy he wanted Alyssa there for everything. And honestly, even though she pushed him and encouraged him to do what he had to do, she was a lot softer than the therapists. She let him take it slower… she let him rest between sets…and she was always sympathetic when he complained about how much it hurt.

He'd never been such a big baby before…and just thinking about it now was embarrassing. About a month ago, though, he found her having a meltdown in their bathroom. All of the sudden everything had come crashing down on her…taking care of him 24/7, doing everything for him, trying to take care of the kids and do all the things she usually did…so their lives could get back to normal. She felt like she was failing miserably…that she was neglecting the kids especially.

Finding her like that had been like someone throwing cold water in his face. And Kelly had realized that what happened to him affected the whole family too. He'd been so focused on his own pain, he hadn't realized that everyone who loved him was hurting right along with him.

"How'd you do, Babe?" Alyssa asked quietly.

"Okay…" he answered. "It's still slow…"

"It'll get better…"

He nodded. He knew he was making progress…just not as quickly as he'd like.

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"Did you check on the kids?" he asked.

That morning they had sent their children off in two different directions. The twins had gone north…with Vargas and their cousins to Great America. Kelly had asked Jose if he was crazy…taking six boys to the theme park?

But Vargas just grinned…

"I got plenty of help…" he said as he turned to Declan. "Right, Candidate?"

"Yes, Sir!" Declan answered with a huge grin.

He had been accepted to the CPFTA…and he hadn't stopped smiling since the day the letter came. But he had a right to be proud. The kid had worked his ass off…he was still working his ass off. Declan hadn't slacked off on his training one little bit. He was still working out every day with Vargas…or Mills…or Chief Boden. He was working as a junior counselor at the summer program at St. Pasqual's…and he helped coach Andy, Jesse and his little brother Connor's baseball team.

And Kelly was so damn proud of him. That was the kind of firefighter the city needed. Not the knucklehead who was happy to get the summer off …even if he had to break his ankle to do it.

Maggie had gone with Mouch to the Children's Museum on Navy Pier. They had some exhibit called The Storybook Garden…and it was life-sized dioramas of scenes from different fairy tales. She'd been to see it five times already…once with Leslie…once with Morgan (and cameraman)…and three times with Uncle Mouch. Today would be number four.

Mouch said he loved to watch how her face lit up when she saw her favorite stories come to life…but Hollywood had shared his suspicion that the real reason was that he was sweet on the lady who volunteered as Mother Goose.

Kelly was really hoping he and Lyssa could take her themselves before it closed. Morgan was great about recording everything for Kelly…but this was one thing he wanted to see for himself.

Alyssa nodded.

"Jose said everything was fine. The boys were being good…listening…not running off in different directions."

"Is he sure he's still got the right kids?" Kelly quipped.

But he knew the boys were good…they just got a little over excited sometimes.

"And Maggie had another meltdown."

"Did she try to eat the candy house again?" he asked.

It was prob'ly the funniest story he'd ever heard. When Maggie saw the witch's house from Hansel and Gretel she squealed with delight…and tried to break off a piece of candy and eat it…only to discover it was fake. Then she cried and cried.

The problem was…she kept forgetting. Every time she tried to eat the candy. And every time she burst into tears.

Alyssa smiled and Kelly chuckled softly.

"So how bad was it?" he asked.

"Nothing an ice cream cone with extra sprinkles won't fix, I'm sure…" she replied.

Kelly chuckled again…then winced at the little stab of pain in his ribs.

"I'm sorry, Baby…" Lyssa said as she repositioned the ice pack slightly.

"I think I'm gonna need a little extra TLC when we get home." He 'pouted'.

That was another thing he missed.

Soon…hopefully…soon.

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July turned into August…and Kelly felt like he finally turned a corner. On August third…he went the whole day without needing to take any pain medication…not even Ibuprophen.

That was huge for him. Even though he didn't do anything too taxing…just getting through the day and not having to swallow pills down every four or six hours…he couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.

He actually realized it when he and Alyssa getting ready for bed.

They put the kids down…and they were finally alone.

That was another thing…they just recently stopped having someone sleeping over every night. Now it was just the five of them together in the house. Just their family…and as much as he and Alyssa appreciated everything Casey and Shay, Mills, Dawson and Vargas and Morgan had done…it was good to just be alone together at night.

They still had people coming during the day…to stay with Maggie and run the boys wherever they wanted to go while Alyssa took Kelly to all his various appointments.

But the nights were theirs again.

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Alyssa gave Maggie her bath…and Kelly sat in there with them…listening to Lyssa and Maggie sing little songs…and play with the letters that stuck to the side of the tub. They played with her princess toys…and the little squirty fish.

That used to be his special time with Maggie…but he still couldn't get down on the floor…and he couldn't lift her yet…all twenty-eight pounds of her. But he could hold her on his lap and read her stories…or watch 'Beauty and the Beast', or 'Tangled'…or whichever princess was her current favorite. Right now it was the one with the curly red hair and the Scottish accent…Merida…that was it. After that it was Ariel.

He could tuck her in after Lyssa put her in her crib. He hoped he'd be able do it all himself again soon…but for now, sharing that time with his girls was just fine.

After that the boys took their showers…and got in their pj's. They scampered up the ladders to their lofted beds…and he could tuck them in. Jesse liked to read before he went to sleep…so he could have his light on for another twenty minutes. Andy could care less. And he could sleep through an earthquake…or a meteor shower. He just turned over and closed his eyes.

Slowly…everything was getting back to normal in the Severide house.

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Kelly shut the door to their room…Alyssa was already turning down the bed and he caught her around the waist. He turned her to face him.

"Let's take a shower…"

That was something they'd always done…even all the times he was hurt. Sometimes he needed her to hold onto. Sometimes he needed her to hold him, especially when he couldn't put weight on a leg or a foot…but mostly he needed her to just calm his fears…and that was one of the times he really could pour them all out to her…where no one else could hear…where no one else could interrupt them.

Most of the time, though…it was just an excuse to touch…not that they ever needed an excuse. But the feeling of skin on skin…pressed up close with no barriers in the way. Alyssa rubbing those slow, rhythmic circles across his back, his shoulders, his chest…all the tension, all the stress just washed away down the drain along with the soap bubbles.

That was something else he had missed…when he had first come home, he couldn't even stand long enough for a shower…and as much as he hated it…that was the one piece of adaptive equipment he had to have. A chair they set inside the walk in shower. And Alyssa had to stand outside to help him wash.

In the last few weeks the bath chair…shower chair…whatever…had finally been relegated to some deep, dark, hidden corner in the basement. Kelly wanted to put it out by the curb with the garbage…but Alyssa told him to just wait...soon…

When they finished she wrapped a big bath sheet around her tiny frame and then helped him to towel off. He took the towel from her…he was okay…he said. He wrapped it around his waist and stepped carefully over to the vanity. He brushed his teeth…he didn't need her to set everything up for him anymore. He was able to use his right arm for most everything again.

Out of habit he reached into the medicine chest and grabbed the bottle of pills. Then he stopped…and he just looked at it for a minute.

It was the same bottle from Walgreens…it had his name on it…the pain specialist's name…and the words 'take one to two tablets every four to six hours as needed for pain'.

As needed…

"What's wrong, Kelly?" Alyssa asked.

"Nothing…" he answered.

And he realized that he meant it.

"When did you take your medicine last?" she asked him.

Then it dawned on him.

"I didn't take it at all today. I didn't take anything."

He put the bottle back into the cabinet. And then he turned to his wife.

"I didn't take anything…all day. I didn't need it…"

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There were other 'firsts'…

Now that he could turn his trunk without his sides screaming in pain…he was able to pull his t-shirt over his head. And he could bend again…so Lyssa didn't had to help him with his shorts and his socks…he could even bend down to tie his own shoes.

The first time he did it…he hadn't even planned to try. Lyssa just got his things from the dresser and was about to help him…just like she'd been doing for months and months. But then Andy and Jesse had started fighting in their room…and she ran in there to referee.

Kelly could hear the fight…they'd get quiet…but then suddenly there was another outburst. Jesse called his brother 'stupid'…and them was fightin' words for Andy. The arguing escalated and Alyssa raised her voice over the shouting…

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"You take that back!"

"Make me!"

Kelly quickly pulled his shirt over his head and his shorts on.

Not bothering with socks and shoes…he went down the hall to find Lyssa trying to keep two boys who were almost as big as she was from hitting one another.

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"Hey!"

The sound of Dad's voice booming from the door as enough to stop the twins cold.

"That's enough! Both of you!"

"But Dad! Jesse said I was stupid!" Andy protested.

"You are stupid!" Jesse shouted at him. "You messed up my stuff!"

"I said…_that's enough_!" Kelly said, stepping into the room. "I don't care who did what or who said what. You two don't hit each other! That's not okay!"

He took a few steps closer…and he took Andy by the arm.

"Andy…you need to go downstairs. Sit on the couch…and don't move till I come down there!"

He steered Andy out the door of the bedroom.

Then he came back for Jesse.

"And Jesse…get up on your bed. And you don't move till I come back!"

Jesse hung his head and climbed the ladder to his bed. Once he was sitting cross-legged in the middle Kelly held out his hand to Alyssa.

The two of them went back to their room.

That's when they both realized that not only had Kelly gotten dressed by himself…but he'd handled the twins arguing for the first time in months.

It was a big thing…and they hugged one another close before he sat down on the bed to finish getting ready.

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He stopped outside the twins' room…and he gave Lyssa a little kiss before she went into Maggie's room to pluck her out of her crib. Then the girls headed downstairs…he didn't need her to help him with that anymore.

He squared his shoulders and went to deal with his son.

"Okay Jess…tell me what happened."

Jesse looked up, his bottom lip trembling a little bit.

"Andy messed up my drawer! He was looking for his shirt…and he couldn't find it…so he tooked mine! He didn't even ask!"

Kelly wiped his hand down his face. The boys still had a lot of matching shirts…especially the ones that said 'My Dad is a firefighter' or other similar sentiments. But Jesse was right. Just because they had the same thing didn't mean it was community property.

"I'll talk to your brother." He said. "But that doesn't make it okay for you to call him names…and it definitely doesn't make it okay to hit each other. Do you understand me?"

Jesse nodded.

"Okay…c'mon down."

Jesse climbed back down the ladder…and Kelly steered him out the door and down the stairs.

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They went into the living room where Andy sat pouting on the couch.

"Okay, Andy…let's have it."

"I wanted my fire truck shirt! But it wasn't in my drawer!"

"You wore it the other day…remember? Kelly reminded him. "It's prob'ly still in the wash. That doesn't mean you can take your brother's."

"Jesse said I was stupid!" Andy pointed out…hoping to deflect some of the heat off him.

"I already talked to Jesse. Now I'm talkin' to you." Kelly told him. "I know you don't like gettin' called names…but you were wrong to take your brother's things…and no matter what…you guys don't hit each other. You understand?"

Andy nodded.

"Okay…now you two apologize to each other…"

Alyssa came into the living room carrying Maggie on her hip.

"Let's get ready…" she said.

"Where are we goin'?" Jesse asked.

"I thought we'd go down to the pier…" she said with a smile. "Maybe grab lunch?"

"At the Billy Goat Tavern!" Andy shouted.

That was their favorite place for hamburgers in the city!

"Or Bubba Gump Shrimp Company?" Jesse asked.

"We're gonna let Daddy pick…" Lyssa said with a smile.

That was fine with the boys…and Alyssa set Maggie down.

All three kids ran toward the back room…the boys chattering with excitement as they went.

And Maggie struggled to keep up.

"Wait…" she cried. "Wait for Maggie…"

She didn't know where they were going…but if her big brothers were this excited it had to be someplace fun.

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Kelly caught Alyssa around the waist.

"What's the occasion?" Not that he was complaining. Navy Pier was one of their favorite places to go…and they hadn't been there as a family all summer.

"I just thought we should celebrate…" she said.

Whether they wanted to say it out loud or not…him getting dressed without any help was a huge deal. That's not to say he'd necessarily be able to do it again tomorrow…but every little step toward normalcy…and, well, things hadn't been 'normal' for the past six months. That was something to celebrate.

He smiled…and leaned down to capture her lips with his for a little kiss.

"C'mon…"she said when they reluctantly parted. "Let's get going…and you start thinking about where you want to eat."

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They settled on the food court…so everyone could get what they liked best…and then they strolled up and down the pier…Kelly and Lyssa pushing Maggie in her stroller…looking in some of their favorite shops.

They all bought new Cubs shirts in Chicago Sports…even if they were in last place…it was still their team.

At Ahoy Chicago they bought a new picture frame…with the Pier along the bottom. They'd get a picture of all of them…and it would be a great memory of the day.

And in Making History…they found a book with a photo history of the CFD…and Kelly bought Alyssa a crystal heart at Dancing Sun Crystals.

Of course they gorged themselves on Haagen Dazs ice cream and Garrett's Popcorn. Kelly and the boys raced the radio controlled boats. And they all rode the Carousel…and the Ferris Wheel. It was Maggie's first time and Kelly even paid for the photos so they could remember the day.

The whole family was exhausted when they finally pulled into the drive. Maggie was asleep in her car seat…and Kelly turned in the passenger seat to look at his three sleepy, sweaty, slightly sun burnt children.

"What'd you think, boys?" he asked.

"Best day ever!" Andy said.

"Yeah…best day ever!" Jesse agreed.

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Kelly had a doctor's appointment the next day…and the doctor was really pleased with his progress. If he could keep it up…he'd be able to get back to work soon. Maybe even before the first of the year.

That was big…BIG…news.

Kelly and Alyssa left the doctor's office…neither one could even speak…it was so much to take in.

"C'mon…" he said as he reached for her hand. "Let's walk…"

They walked along the Lake…along the path to their spot. The place where Kelly had proposed. He slipped his arm around her…as they looked out over the water.

"I'm gonna get back…" he said quietly…not really believing it was all happening. "I'm gonna do it, Lyssa. I'm still gonna be a firefighter."

Alyssa pressed close against him…still not daring to hug him too tight.

"I told you, Baby…I knew if anyone could come back from all this…it was gonna be you."

"I wanna celebrate…" he said. "I wanna take you out…someplace special. Anywhere you want to go."

"I don't care where we go, Kelly…you pick. I'm just so happy…"

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They ended up at the Chicago Firehouse. It seemed appropriate. They started with the Lobster Bisque…and Kelly had a Porterhouse steak. Lyssa got a filet…and they shared sides of wild mushrooms and grilled asparagus.

It was the perfect night…the boys were having a sleepover at Hollywood's place…and Maggie was staying with Alyssa's parents…so they came home to a quiet house.

In their room…with the moonlight peeking through the blinds…he turned to his beautiful wife.

He shed his jacket and tossed it on the love seat. Then he pulled Alyssa flush against him and reached behind her to unzip her black lace dress. He slid it off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. She unbuttoned his black dress shirt…and he shivered with anticipation as he felt her fingers through the thin fabric.

His desire for her heightened when she placed little kisses across his bare chest. He caught his breath…and she reached up to slide the shirt off his shoulders. She took a few moments to slide her hands across his skin…before she reached down to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants.

While she was doing that…he reached around and unfastened her strapless bra…then moved down to her black lace panties. As his trousers fell to the floor…he stepped out of them and led her over to the bed.

They didn't even bother to turn down the covers…he couldn't wait another minute. It had been so long…too long…and in that moment he wanted her so bad it hurt.

She felt the same way…as she slid his boxers off of him…and she was immediately ready for him.

But he took another minute…he caressed every beautiful inch of her…and he pulled back to look deeply into her eyes.

As usual…the love he found there astounded him. He still couldn't get over that they were still so in love even after ten years of marriage.

Alyssa rose up to meet him…and they held each other as close as they possibly could. He knew just what she needed…she knew just what he wanted. And as they moved together, slowly, tenderly…letting their passion mount until they couldn't hold back any longer…

Finally spent…he rolled off of her…she reached down and pulled the throw from over the foot board and wrapped it around them. They tangled themselves together beneath the light cotton blanket…and he tangled his fingers in her long, brown hair…pulling her against him. He continued to run his hands over her silky soft skin…inhaling the scent of her lemon scented shampoo and the bath splash she dabbed on like perfume…

It was perfect…it was like the first time…but it was so familiar…so safe…so warm.

"I love you, Alyssa…" he whispered in the dark. "I love you more than life itself."

"And I love you, Kelly…"she whispered back. "You're my 'forever'…"

"There's no doubt in my mind."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Things continued to move forward.

Kelly was back in the gym now…building his strength…getting his stamina back. And he was still going to PT. He was working on his balance…and his reflexes. The therapist even worked with the fire department to customize his workouts now to mimic things he needed to do on the job.

And it all felt _good_.

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Just as his session was ending, the knucklehead kid from Truck 34 came hobbling in…on crutches.

That's when Kelly realized he hadn't seen the guy in about two months.

"What the hell happened to you?" he asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

At least the kid had enough sense to be embarrassed.

"Well…my girlfriend broke up with me. She said having to come here every day was boring…that and she met somebody else. So a couple of my buddies took me out one night…and I got…really…really drunk."

Kelly had to bite the insides of his cheeks.

"So what'd you do?" he asked…even though he could prob'ly have guessed the answer.

"I took a fall down a couple stairs at the club we were at…" the guy said. "And I re-broke my ankle…"

Severide just shook his head. The guy would prob'ly loose his spot…if he hadn't already. The department wasn't gonna put up with a fuck-up like this.

"Well…good luck to ya'." He said…not really meaning it.

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The kids were back in school now. Andy and Jesse were in the fourth grade…and they moved up a level in football. Alyssa was nervous because they'd be playing against kids so much bigger than them…but Kelly knew his boys could hold their own. He wasn't worried in the least.

Maggie followed in her brothers footsteps…and she started pre-school three mornings a week.

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Now _that _made Kelly nervous…and a little sad. When he and Lyssa had taken Maggie to St. Pasqual's to meet with Mrs. Beatty and Ms. Monahan he realized his baby girl was growing up.

Now he was walking her to school…in her little uniform…the smallest they could find…and it was still big. Her pink Princess backpack was almost as big as she was.

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That first day she clung to his leg…and Kelly almost scooped her up into his arms to take her back home.

He could do that now. But he forced himself to be strong as Mrs. Beatty gently pried Maggie off of him and led her over to the books so he could make his getaway.

Alyssa was waiting for him outside…and she hugged him tight.

"It's okay, Baby…" she told him. "She'll be fine…"

Maggie would be fine…Daddy was another story.

"She's so _little_…" he said. "She's just a _baby_."

But they had talked about it…Ainsley was starting school…and it only made sense that Maggie would too. She knew all her letters…and her colors…her numbers…and she could recognize almost fifty words on sight. She could hold a pencil and trace the letters of her name. She was already ahead academically. Now she needed to get the social skills.

Kelly would just have to be strong.

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The Firefighter's Challenge was held on Labor Day weekend…and Hollywood filled in for Kelly this time. Squad 3 won for the fifth consecutive year in a row…and this time Wheaton didn't even make the cut. It anybody realized Morgan wasn't a real firefighter…they kept it to themselves.

Next year…Kelly promised himself. Next year he'd be back better than ever.

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Chicago Fire was into its third season…and Kelly worked a few days a week on that. He still wasn't cleared to work on the action sequences…but it was good to be back in the gear…getting on the Squad.

Soon…he kept telling himself…soon.

The kids made their annual appearance…and this year Andy and Jesse each got speaking parts!

They were with their "class" on a field trip of the fire station…and Andy asked why they had a beagle instead of a Dalmatian. Jesse got to try on the helmet…and he complained how heavy it was.

They had to do that about five times…to get it to sound real. Jesse had been trying on Kelly's helmet since he was about four. He was used to the weight of it by now.

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Halloween was on a Saturday…and St Pasqual's had a huge Carnival. The boys recycled their firefighter costumes…and Maggie was a pink and purple butterfly.

Andy and Jesse cleaned up on all the games…and they came home with about half a dozen goldfish that Kelly hoped wouldn't be dead by morning…a dozen little stuffed animals…and a ton of candy.

Maggie didn't quite get the point of bobbing for apples…she just stuck her whole arm in and fished out the one she wanted. And Kelly couldn't help but chuckle as he carried his dripping daughter to the bathroom to put her under the hand dryer. He'd filmed it all on his phone…and he knew Casey and Mills and the rest of the guys would prob'ly get a good laugh out of it.

Afterwards they had all the neighbors over for cookies and hot mulled cider...the same as they did every year.

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But all that was just a distraction while they waited for the big event. Kelly's appointment at Occupational Health was coming up. The surgeon had cleared him…the orthopedist…the rehab guys…all of them had pronounced him 100% healed.

Now they just had to get past the CFD.

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The night before the appointment Kelly couldn't sleep a wink. He'd only been this nervous once before…when he'd had the surgery to repair his C5 vertebra. That was almost a dozen years ago…before he Lyssa were married. He was forty-five now…and coming back after this injury was the hardest thing he'd ever had to go through.

He knew there was still a chance they wouldn't clear him…at least not for full duty, no restrictions. But it wouldn't be for lack of trying on his part. He could say without any reservations that he didn't leave anything on the table this time. And he wanted this…more than ever.

He held onto Alyssa's hand as they waited for the doctor. He had his shirt off…the doctor would want to make sure all the incisions were well healed…and she gently rubbed her hand across his back.

She didn't have to ask if he was nervous. He was practically shaking. She leaned in closer and placed a kiss against his shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, Kelly. You're gonna pass this with flying colors." She said softly.

He squeezed her hand in his…and he couldn't help but think that seven or eight months ago he hadn't even been able to do that.

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They walked out of the clinic feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted.

He was cleared to return to duty…no restrictions!

He could still lead Squad 3!

He grabbed his wife in a tight hug…and picked her up off the ground. He twirled her around and laughed out loud. He didn't give a damn how many people stopped and stared. He didn't give a damn if the whole city thought he was crazy.

He was going back to Station 51 next shift!

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This called for a celebration.

He stopped at 51 to give Boden the paperwork…and the whole house had erupted in chaos! Everyone was hugging him and slapping him on the back. They hugged Alyssa too…and there were a few tears shed.

Lieutenant Severide was back!

Once Kelly and Lyssa had left to have their own private celebration, the planning kicked into overdrive. They'd have everyone at the diner…they'd have all the Lieutenant's favorites…they'd get at least three kegs…this was gonna be _the_ blowout bash to end all blowout bashes!

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Kelly had a few things to do on his own.

He had missed their anniversary. Not that he wasn't home…but he was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he was in no condition to celebrate.

Originally he had wanted to take a romantic vacation…like they did for their fifth. He had been planning it…back before their lives had gotten all turned around. So now he walked into a jewelry store downtown…and he told the clerk what he wanted.

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The other errand wasn't so pleasant.

He found out where Darren Chesnick was buried…and he went to the cemetery.

He found the stone…it was simple…plain. Just a name and a date. No sentiments about him being a loving husband, a father…a son. Not even a Maltese Cross that was the symbol of the fire department.

Kelly looked down at the pathetically lonely grave. There were no flowers, no sign that anyone had been there. What a waste, he thought.

"You didn't beat me, you sonofabitch…" he said to the stone. "I made it…I made it and I'm still a firefighter. You didn't take that away from me."

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The whole family gathered at the diner. The firehouse family…Hermann's wife and kids…all Lyssa's brothers and their families. Her nephew Donnie and his wife came from Kansas City. Her niece Brittany came from Iowa, where she was in grad school. Even Nadine and Tony Sr. were there.

Benny was there…and he was already well on his way to having a world class hangover the next morning. This whole thing had been as hard on him as it was everybody else…he tried to help, but he really struggled this time with Kelly being hurt so badly. He knew what it was like to have to give up the thing you love…even if you couldn't do it anymore. Not a day went by that he didn't miss the firehouse…hearing the bells go off…throwing on the gear and jumping in the Squad ready to face whatever they rolled up on. And even though he'd never admit it out loud…in his heart he knew that his son was _the_ best of the best.

Kelly's aunt Kathy was there…as were her sons Josh and Blake were there with their families.

And there were friends. Hollywood was there with the entire cast and crew of Chicago Fire. The Riordans were there…and Eric Whaley had jumped on a plane as soon as Casey had called to tell him about the party. His wife and sons weren't able to make the trip…but Eric had to be there for his buddy.

Even Jonny DiNardo, Alyssa's oldest friend, had come all the way from London where he was starring in a revival of Phantom of the Opera.

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Kelly couldn't believe all the people that had come out to celebrate with them. He'd have been happy to have the family for a cookout or something. But the diner was filled to capacity. He wandered around, talking to everyone…accepting their congratulations…sharing toasts left and right…remembering to eat every now and then so he wasn't drinking on an empty stomach.

Until he found himself face to face with his mother in law.

Nadine had really been trying to make peace. She had come over with prepared meals while he was recovering…she had babysat for Maggie a few times…and she'd gone to Andy and Jesse's games and things at their school.

But she pretty much left Kelly and Alyssa to do their own thing.

"Nadine…" Kelly said cautiously.

"Kelly…congratulations. Tony and I are really happy you're okay…that everything's all right again."

"Thanks…" he said. "And…thank you…for the meals and stuff. That was nice of you."

"I was wrong, Kelly." She said. "I was so wrong about you…and Alyssa. I don't even have an excuse for myself. I just hope…that maybe…one day…you can forgive me. And we can get to know each other."

Kelly was surprised…shocked even.

"Maybe…" he said. "We've got plenty of time."

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There was something he wanted to do…before everyone got too drunk.

He took Alyssa by the hand…and he led her out into the center of the crowd.

"I've got something for you…" he said.

He reached into his pocket…and drew out a black velvet box.

"Kelly…" she started to protest.

But he stopped her. He opened the box slowly to reveal a heart encrusted with diamond chips.

Alyssa gasped when she saw it. It was stunning…she'd never seen anything so beautiful. It was too much.

"Kelly…" she whispered.

He took the necklace from the box. He handed that off to Shay…and he circled around his wife. He carefully hung it around her neck…and then turned her to face him.

It was like the whole world suddenly melted away…and he forgot that there were over a hundred pairs of eyes on them. He softly stroked Alyssa's cheek and looked deep into her brown eyes.

"I missed our anniversary, Lyssa." He said. "I still can't believe it's been _ten_ years."

He wiped away a tear that had slid down her face…then he wiped away one of his own.

"I can never thank you. There's…no words…to say how I feel. I just know…that I couldn't have made it without you. You always believed in me…even when I didn't. You believed in _us_. And the reason I'm standin' here right now…it's all because of you. I owe you everything, Baby. Everything…"

And right in front of all their family and their friends…Kelly took his wife in his arms…and he kissed her.


End file.
